YouTuber Eva Gutowski discusses suicidal thoughts in emotional video after watching Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why

YOUTUBE star Eva Gutowski has posted a video about battling with suicidal thoughts, after watching the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why.

In the emotional video 22-year-old how the series hit close to come home and said that she had once wanted to kill herself when she was in school.

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The Californian native has recently shared about her mental health struggles on her channel and how she was the

She spoke of how 13 Reasons Why, which follows the fictional story of a teenager who leaves behind 13 audio tapes after killing herself,
She said: "I hid for so long from my friends because I thought my friends weren’t close enough to care for me. I have friends in school but I didn't have best friends.

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"I never had somebody I could go to.

"I was having so many problems and I’m sure people can relate to feeling the same way.

"Feeling hopeless, feeling like you’ve tried to talk to people, and no one takes you seriously."

Dabbing her eyes, the YouTuber shared how she couldn't open up to her parents because they got "mad" at her when she confided in them that she was suffering from depression.

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She said in the video: "I think they got mad because I was the first child and they didn't know how to handle that and I also think they got mad at me because my family couldn't afford much at all.

"And when I said I needed help - I couldn't even go to the doctor's because the doctor cost money.

"So how am I going to get treated for depression if I can't even go to the doctor's for a cough?"

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Eva, who also runs a popular Instagram account, heartbreakingly revealed one night when she was driving home and contemplated death.

She said: "I told my grandmother that I was going to kill myself because that would be the only way that people would understand how much they were hurting me - if I was gone."

Thankfully the star managed to find the strength to pull through and she is so glad that she did.

Eva revealed: "No-one was taking my words seriously so I figured the only way people would take me seriously is if I was gone… But I didn’t do it and I’m so glad… I can’t explain that enough."

She reassured fans that there are "so many things you want to live for".

Eva ended by saying that there are plenty of things she still wishes to achieve in her life, including writing another book.

Eva isn't the only YouTuber to create a poignant video this week.

Stunning YouTuber Breeny Lee shaved her head and ditched the make-up to prove she doesn’t care about looks..and you shouldn’t either.

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123 or 020 7734 2800.