Mum offers hilariously brutal description of the reality of giving birth after watching One Born Every Minute
A MUM has shared a hilariously brutal account of the reality of giving birth, having been inspired by an episode of One Born Every Minute.
Jordan Kennedy, from Scotland, took to Facebook to express how "rotten" it is being in labour - and her post certainly pulled no punches.
After she shared it to the social media site on Wednesday it quickly went viral, attracting 19,000 reactions and nearly 9,700 shares.
Having watched the Channel 4 reality show, Jordan admitted that being in labour "has to be one of the most ugly things ever".
She explained: "You start off with your wee clean PJs and matching slippers.. all smiles, even a bit of lip gloss ta keep you in gid spirit (sic).
"Then as the contractions start getting heavy the slippers are chucked across the room.. yar hair's scraped back like dog the bounty hunter.. you end up wearing a nappy that could absorb the Dean Park pond."
Jordan spoke of her desire as an expectant mum to keep her dignity, "so that your man will still want you despite what's about to happen".
But she went on to paint a picture that a woman who's never given birth will recoil in horror at.
Jordan explained: "Then it's time ta push and God forbid you ate anything in the last eight hours.. you're wishing ta God you had just farted in front of your boyfriend coz now he ken's you fart.. but trying to keep your thoughts away fay the fact you just s*** the bed you just take the next available pain relief ta block out the embarrassment.
"That disny work so you call the dad all the b******s through a voice that's once been heard in the WWE wrestling ring.
"Out pops a giant head and your a*** feels like it's been set alight before the shoulders finish you off (sic)."
The gory account doesn't stop there, as she told how while others coo at the newborn, some "dodgy wee midwife that's no slept in 35 hours" then tries to "set about your vagina with a needle and thread".
She ends the rant by quipping: "It's a pure magical moment for a woman."
Whether that's meant genuinely or laced with sarcasm, we'll let you decide.
The majority of responses to her frank post contained the crying-laughing face emoji, with others praising her honesty and humour.
One commented: "Loved the way (you) described it cause that's exactly how I remember it, right down to the 24 stitches I had, oh the joy - not" while another wrote: "So funny that and so true."
Earlier this month we revealed what happened to the first ever baby delivered on One Born Every Minute, who’s now a cheeky seven-year-old boy.
In April we told how a mum on the Channel 4 show revealed the VERY comical name for her privates as she struggled to cope with the agonising pain of childbirth… while her partner stifled his giggles.