We reveal the secrets to keeping a strong and healthy sex life like rocker Sting and wife Trudie Styler
Sex expert Kate Taylor offers top tips on helping keep the hot and passionate spark in a marriage
NOT many rock star relationships stand the test of time – but Sting and Trudie Styler still look as in-lust as ever.
The couple, who married 25 years ago and have four kids, kissed and cuddled at a St Tropez nightclub last week.
While 13 per cent of married couples only make love a few times a year, the former Police frontman, 65, has spoken about tantric sex sessions that last for HOURS.
Sexpert Kate Taylor says: “Sex is vital to keep a marriage fun and fresh.”
Here, Kate gives LYNSEY CLARKE her tips for keeping the Sting in your sex life.
Every little Thing She Does Is Magic
MARRIED couples have the best quickies.
The sexiest side-effect of predictability is that you become an expert at making your partner orgasm.
Hit the snooze button in the morning for a breakneck bonk or nip home for a lunchtime tussle.
Babyproofing Your Marriage authors Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill and Julia Stone recommend the “Five Minute Fix” to relieve stress instantly.
Put On The Red Light
STING once said: “I like the theatre of sex.”
Well, if sex is a theatre, your bedroom is the stage.
Swap a lightbulb for one with a seductive red glow or replace all the unflattering 80-watt bulbs for more forgiving 30-watt ones.
Set the scene by ensuring the bed is the right height for your favourite positions and that you can see yourselves in the mirror.
Stock your bedside drawers with erotic fiction, condoms, lube, massage lotions and kinky toys.
And don’t forget costumes.
Sting also said: “I like to dress her up.”
Wrapped Around Your Finger
TRUDIE once said: “It is all about really engaging in intimacy before you have sex.”
Foreplay is essential and should last all day.
Kiss your partner passionately before they leave for work, shoot them a naughty Skype at lunchtime and send them snaps of your body in the afternoon.
Start the evening’s fun with a teasing massage that nearly but not quite pushes their buttons.
Only when you’re both going mad with passion should you seal the deal.
Every Breath You Take
ONE look at Sting and Trudie’s bodies and you know they don’t spend their evenings stuffing down carbs in front of the TV.
Exercise is proven to boost your sex drive.
A study showed women who exercise three times a week report much higher sexual satisfaction than those who don’t.
Trudie reportedly does 90 minutes of yoga a day.
Treat yourself to her Warrior Yoga DVD, crank up your central heating and go at it together Bikram-style.
Do-Do-Do The PDA
PUBLIC displays of affection like Sting and Trudie’s dirty dancing keep couples hot.
John Gottman, who runs a US Marriage Therapy Centre, identified that PDAs are a common hobby in couples who enjoy an “amazing sex life”.
Hold hands, kiss, grab each other’s bum and sit beside each other when you go out.
Snog in the cinema and if you go to a party together, sneak off to the bathroom for a secret romp.
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
The Bed's Too Big Without You
STING and Trudie have four adult kids so, like most parents, they might have struggled to find time for dates.
Dagmar O’Connor, author of How To Make Love To The Same Person For The Rest Of Your Life (And Still Love It) recommends a weekly date – but with a twist.
Instead of expensive restaurants, take yourselves up to your bedroom.
Bring food and hang out naked.
There’s no pressure to perform but with this relaxed attitude, the evening will usually end in sex.
Synchronicity
AT the beginning of your relationship you probably fell into a pattern where one of you was the main initiator of sex, and the other was the responder.
Over time, resentment can build up.
We all love to feel wanted, so take it in turns to make the first move.
When it’s your turn to initiate, flirt, pursue, do a striptease and chase them.
When it’s your turn to respond, tease your partner and make them work harder to seduce you.
Don't Stand So Close To Me
THE monotony of monogamy can be improved with distance.
Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says we should embrace our partner’s own identity: “Separateness is unassailable and their mystery is forever ungraspable. Acknowledge this and sustained desire becomes a real possibility.”
Trudie and Sting have had periods apart, and Trudie says it’s strengthened them.
She said: “It’s something we’re so used to with having time apart . . . it works.”
Even just a few nights out with your friends can recharge your batteries.
- Kate Taylor is author of Domestic Sex Goddess: The Art Of Having It All & Having It Off (Quadrille, £10.99).