Eight months pregnant transgender man plans to raise his baby gender-free with the help of two women
Alex Alvarez, 25, from Los Angeles, California, is expecting his first child, conceived via an unknown sperm donor, next month
A TRANSGENDER man who is eight months pregnant plans to raise his unborn child gender binary – neither male nor female – with the help of two women.
Alex Alvarez, 25, from Los Angeles, California, is expecting his first child, conceived via an unknown sperm donor, next month.
The business assistant will bring up the baby with his girlfriend Carla Gonzalez, 33, and their mutual friend, Cole James, 36.
Instead of imposing a on their baby, Alex wants the child to decide what to be.
“We want him or her to choose his or her own gender,” Alex, who does not want to disclose his female name, explained.
“I’ve got a nephew who is proud he is a man. He has chosen that, and that is great.
“We will raise our child gender fluid, until they can choose what gender they wish to be.”
The trio – who Alex said are not in a three-way relationship – will live together.
“The baby will have a trans father and two mothers,” Alex, who suffered terrible morning sickness throughout the first trimester of his pregnancy, said.
Alex realised he was transgender at 17 and started hormone treatment at 19.
“I met Carla when I was 20,” he said. “She’s always known me as trans.”
Carla, an executive assistant, initially tried to carry a baby with an unknown sperm donor, but, sadly, suffered two miscarriages.
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She and Alex then made the mutual decision that he should try for a child.
Earlier this year, he fell pregnant and the couple were delighted.
“Cole also wanted to be a mother, so we decided we would co-parent,” Alex explained.
Raised as a woman by his grandmother Tomasa, 70, – after his parents were in and out of prison – Alex said he took some time to get to grips with him coming out as trans.
His father, Jose, 48, and mother, Yancy, 43, have been accepting of his decision and are looking forward to becoming grandparents.
Alex said: “People have had a mix of feelings, from really happy to confused.
“Only close friends and family knew for the first seven months. We then came out on social media with images and we only received good reactions to the pregnancy.
“I don’t even look that pregnant. I’ve stopped taking hormones now, because of the baby, and even when I did I didn’t grow much facial hair.
What is gender-neutral parenting?
Gender-neutral parenting is about breaking away from the gender binary and exposing children to a variety of gender types and allowing them to explore.
There are different levels of gender-neutral parenting.
Some parents take the extreme approach by raising their child ‘genderless’.
Last year, a Swedish couple made headlines after announcing that they had decided to keep the gender of their young child, Pop, a secret from all but their closest family members.
There was a similar 2011 case in Canada with a baby called Storm.
Parents who practice a relaxed form of gender-neutral parenting encourage their children to play with both "boy" and "girl" toys, keep clothing and room colour neutral or allowing children to pick their own clothes - even if that means their son goes to school dressed in pink.
“We aren’t a very hairy family. In big clothes and with coats on, you can’t really tell I am pregnant.”
Alex, who does not plan to have full gender reassignment surgery, is planning to have a home birth and is hoping he’ll be able to breast-feed.
He said he’s nervous about the baby arriving but knows he has a great support network around him.
“I’m hoping that we raise this baby with unconditional love and give them the chance to choose who they wish to be in this life,” he said.
In July, a mum revealed that she wanted to register her baby as ‘gender unknown’.
