Pals’ problems make me depressed
I’M like the Dear Deidre of my form at school and the pressure of being an
agony aunt is getting too much. I don’t really know how you cope.
I’m 14 and my GCSEs are coming up soon. Everyone’s got high expectations of
me, like A/A* grades in all of my GCSEs.
It’s not just the school work that’s making me feel under pressure. The other
thing is that everyone keeps coming to me for help and advice. It’s sort of
cool. I like helping people, it gives me a warm feeling inside, but
sometimes it gets a bit heavy.
One girl has told me she’s seven weeks pregnant and I can’t tell anyone else.
I’m not even her best friend and she told me before she told her boyfriend.
I was quite shocked and worried about what I should say. I told her I was
there for her if she needed me but said she needed to tell someone else who
had legal or medical responsibility.
She went to her GP and is thinking of having an abortion. She’s asked me what
she should do but I said that I couldn’t tell her. I don’t mind helping her
but this is really playing on my mind. It’s not like I don’t have any
problems of my own.
I think I’m a little depressed and sometimes I self-harm. I don’t do it much
as I know it’s not good and I’m trying to stop.
I sometimes feel like I’m everyone’s friend and pretending to be what I’m not.
You’re doing your best to make sure that everyone is OK but you have to look
after yourself. Being a good listener is one thing but you’re much too young
to take on responsibility for other people’s problems and dilemmas.
I’m glad to tell you that there is lots of help around for young people,
whatever problem they’re facing. If you could point people in the right
direction then you’d be doing something really useful without getting
overwhelmed yourself.
Please tell the friend who is pregnant that she can find help, support and
information, in complete confidence, by getting in touch with Brook (0808
802 1234, ).
They are there to help people under 25 with just this sort of dilemma and
can also help with problems to do with contraception, STIs, relationship
worries and lots more. Check out their website and tell your friend about it.
Young people can also find support for just about any problem by contacting
Get Connected (0808 808 4994, ).
They have trained helpline volunteers at the end of the phone or email and
they can put young people in touch with the help they need in their area.
And of course, this includes you. You mention you’re worried about your exams
and that you sometimes self-harm. Don’t ever forget that you are just as
important as anyone else. I’m sending you leaflets giving help on these
problems and do call Get Connected yourself, for a sympathetic ear and more
help if you need it.
Talk to your school and your parents too if you can. You don’t have to cope on
your own.
Best of luck with your studies. Yes, it’s true they’re important but you need
to keep your life in balance. See friends and have fun too. Let me know how
you get on.