We review the Vauxhall Maloo from price to economy and all its features
IT’S like a motoring version of Russell Crowe – an all-action Australian gladiator, a macho machine that doesn’t give a XXXX.
Like Crowe, the Vauxhall Maloo pick-up is a rugged-looking beast that oozes testosterone.
Macho machine ... the Vauxhall Maloo
So you may be wondering how a Vauxhall badge ends up on what is clearly an all-Australian piece of metal?
The answer is simple. Vauxhall owners General Motors have an Australian subsidiary called Holden that makes the Maloo and they thought their British cousins might like a piece of the action.
So Vauxhall’s performance arm VXR have tweaked the Maloo to produce a heavy-duty motor that brings a whole new dimension to the British pick-up scene.
And it really does turn heads. I spent the weekend answering the same question when the Maloo was parked outside my house: “What the hell is that?”
When I told them it was a Maloo, they remained totally bemused. It was only when I told them it was an Australian pick-up that everything made sense.
The Australians are a bit like the Yanks when it comes to pick-ups — they like them big, brash and in your face.
And as the Maloo is painted in screaming yellow, the impossible-to-ignore factor is increased by several degrees. There is nothing subtle about the Maloo. This car is unashamedly macho and is no place for a Sheila, despite the colour.
The front end is dominated by a snarling double-mesh grille, eye-catching long LED running lights and large air vents in the bonnet that look as if they will breathe fire from the V8 engine.
The Maloo is based on the Holden saloon but, from the B pillar back, it gets the roof chopped off to turn it into a totally different beast.
The side profile is a muscle-bound affair with bulging wheel arches, side skirts and deep air intakes cut into the front wing and into the skirts. The rear is finished off with two double chrome exhausts and a big diffuser.
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The Maloo’s load bay gets a hard tonneau cover with a double bulge that rises up on hydraulic struts to reveal a load bay that can swallow 1,208litres.
It’s perfect for surfboards, several crates of lager then crashing out under the stars on Bondi Beach. But the tonneau can’t be removed so big bulky loads are out and, unlike most pick-ups, there isn’t the option of all-wheel drive.
One thing this motor is not short of is power. But does the Maloo — the Aboriginal word for thunder — deliver thunder from Down Under? Strangely, it is not quite as crazy as it looks because it’s got a rare Aussie refined side.
That’s despite the fact that there is a huge 6.2litre V8 lurking under the bonnet that thumps out 425bhp.
And although there’s a deep rumble from the engine, it’s actually not loud enough for my liking.
It is frighteningly quick for a machine that is more than five metres long — 0-62mph is hit in a supercar-like 4.9seconds and it flies to the limited 155mph.
The steering and gear changes are not as relaxing as the bucket sports seats. In fact, manoeuvring the truck-sized steering wheel and heavy manual six-speed box is like a gym workout.
But the steering is responsive and precise. You can push the Maloo hard along twisting country roads — and it’s an entertaining ride for such a big motor.
But push it to the limit through bends at high speed and the Maloo will bite you.
It has an unruly side, as you’d expect from a native of Australia.
The Maloo also has a drink problem. I averaged just under 22mpg, which means you’re a frequent visitor to the pumps. And CO2 of 320g/km will wallop your wallet in road tax.
But the biggest hit on your wallet is the Maloo’s price of £51,500 for what is still just a pick-up with two seats, even if it is wonderfully tarted up.
It’s even harder to swallow when I tell you that, despite the comfort of the seats, the interior feels low-rent luxury, even with equipment such as satnav, cruise control, Bluetooth and a reversing camera.
But the Maloo is not a vehicle for sane and sensible buyers. This is for extroverts who want a drive on the wild and wacky side. And with only 50 to be sold in the UK, you’ll be rarer than a Ferrari.
Special thanks to Heart Park, Meriden, Warwicks, for the beach.