A DAD-OF-TWO says his £30,000 BMW One Series was written off after valet staff smashed it into a wall.
Andrew Swindells passed his car keys over after splashing just under £100 on Manchester Airport's 'meet and greet' parking service.
But while off on his travels across the pond, the sports car's fancy telemetry system alerted him via his mobile phone to a 'serious collision'.
The notification came while he was tucking into his dinner in Chicago.
Soon after, he received a call from BMW to check if he was okay and was instructed to pull over immediately, but he obviously wasn't in the car at the time.
Upon arrival in Manchester, Andrew said he was taken up to the top floor of a multi-story car park, where he saw the BMW crashed into a concrete bollard.
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The Cheshire-based dad said the airport has now settled with his insurer and apologised to him.
He also added that the car itself - bought second-hand 12 months ago - was in the car park for weeks because it couldn't be moved, and was not happy with the customer service he got from the airport.
Andrew, an IT product manager who regularly flies abroad on business, likened the scenes at the airport to 'something out of Only Fools and Horses'.
The 47-year-old said: "It all happened at the end of January, but it has taken ages for the airport to sort the insurance out. It dragged on and on.
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"It's valet parking and they move the car to another site on the airport. It ended up within the boundaries of the airport on the top storey of a seven-storey multi-storey.
"During the trip I received notifications from the in-car telemetry to tell me it had been involved in an accident. Upon returning, I found the car had been driven into a concrete block, whilst being moved by the airport driver.
"The airport team told me the car was being driven slowly and safely, however the car has been written off by the insurance company. They managed to completely write it off by crashing it into a concrete block.
"I just thought the sensors had gone at first and ignored it, then I got a call from BMW about 20 minutes later. They phoned me to ask me if I was ok - I was completely unaware of what was going on. I tried to phone the airport but couldn't get an answer."
Andrew said he eventually got through on the phone and was told by the airport the car had been in an accident, but given no details.
He said: "I landed back in Manchester on January 27 and went to the meet and greet reception.
"There were two managers waiting for me. I have to say they were really good. They said 'yes, your car has been in a crash. We need to show you what happened.
"We went up to the car park and it was smashed into a post. I was just completely surprised. They said the driver misjudged a turn.
It was like something out of Only Fools and Horses.
Andrew Swindells
"The telemetry said it was being driven between 20 and 30mph at the time. They had to leave it in situ for the insurance assessment. It was up there for weeks."
Andrew said he was given a hire car while the situation was dealt with by his and the airport's insurers.
He said: "Eventually they came back and said the car's a write-off. They offered to pay me market value and we went back and forward for weeks. Eventually they made me an offer which I agreed to.
"Apart from when I met with the managers on the Saturday, I have had no contact from the airport. I had to chase them."
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A Manchester Airport spokesperson told the Manchester Evening News: "We apologise to Mr Swindells for the damage to his car and have worked with his insurance company to ensure he is fully compensated.
"Thousands of passengers use our Meet and Greet products every week and incidents leading to any kind of damage are extremely rare."