Subaru WRX STi is a beast of a motor with a 296bhp engine, LED headlights and top speed of 158mph — but will be last one sold in Europe
Brussels Eurocrats may have driven the legendary Subaru WRX STi from Europe for good, but that won't stop it
WELL done Brussels, you po-face weasels. Take a bow and pat yourselves on your hunched backs.
Your draconian emissions taxes have scared away the legendary Subaru WRX STi from Europe for good.
Japan and America will still be able to buy it, just not us. Hope you’re proud. Subaru has decided it is not worth its while to keep jumping through the EU’s increasingly tight hoops and continue importing the 2.5-litre turbo WRX.
Instead, it’s going to concentrate on sensible SUVs in this market.
Aren’t we the lucky ones.
It’s offering a parting gift though, fittingly named the WRX Final Edition. And in terms of last hurrahs, it’s as riotous as Oliver Reed’s final trip to the boozer.
Let’s park the fact the discontinuation of this car brings to a close 23 years of racing heritage — it was Britain’s own Colin McRae who won the World Rally Championships in the Subaru Impreza in 1995, making himself and the car a household name.
I’m swallowing my bile and focusing on the positives, because there are plenty to list.
That said, it’s not an easy or polite car. It’s not cuddly and won’t sing you a bedtime story.
In fact, it’s more tightly wound than a hospital matron on a bad day. Uptight and angry, ready to snap and snarl. But in terms of an involving drive, there’s little that comes close. What’s new?
Firstly, it now comes with a fully electronic differential which can be tweaked and trimmed by the driver (more useful on the slippy stuff than road).
You can also dump more torque on the rear wheels than the front.
Bigger alloys — now 19in — not only add to the WRX’s Max Power centrefold appeal, but also house uprated Brembo brakes, which glow nicely in luminous yellow between the wheel spokes.
Comfort is still an afterthought, although Subaru has added cornering LED headlights, heated seats and DAB radio to at least pretend it gives a damn about anything other than getting around a bend as quickly as possible.
This car doesn’t suffer fools. Get too greedy with your right foot and the engine will rev like a twin-prop plane taking off.
Get heavy-handed with the steering and you will be kerb crawling at 70mph or driving on the continental side of the road.
But take a day or two to learn its behaviour and it will reward.
Drop a cog, watch the rev needle lurch into the bigger numbers, and feel your heart dance like the day you had your first kiss.
The turbo kicks in at around 3,500 revs but it keeps on slurping long into the gears.
Your left hand becomes a blur as you start crunching up through the gearbox.
A missed cog is punished heavily by that screaming engine, so keep discipline tight. Suspension is teeth-chatteringly brittle.
I learned more about where my jiggling fat bits are in a ten-minute drive than I would at a whole year at Weight Watchers classes.
But you wouldn’t want a soft ride in a car like this.
And the WRX is still able to turn heads.
Key facts: Subaru WRX STi
Price: £33,995
Engine: 2.5litre turbo-petrol
Economy: 25.9mpg
0-62mph: 5.2 seconds
Top speed: 158mph
Length: 4.6 metres
CO2: 252g/km
The rear spoiler might as well say “arrest me now” on it, but it gets admiring glances everywhere it goes, and even the occasional thumbs-up.
Now that my anger at the eurocrats has calmed down a bit, I can concede maybe it is time the WRX retired to the hall of fame.
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The 296bhp engine is less powerful than a lot of hot hatches, which are a damn sight more peaceful to live with.
And we wouldn’t want to watch the WRX morph into another hair-gelled, Prada-wearing performance car from the German school of automotive. That would just make us sad.
That doesn’t let you lot in Brussels off the hook, though. You’re still a bunch of idiots.