The Citroen Berlingo is no masterpiece of design but it’s the ultimate family-friendly car
WHO once said that “image is everything”?
Give up? It was Andre Agassi in a 1989 advert for Canon cameras.
I’m assuming the person who designed the Citroen Berlingo is either too young to remember 1989, didn’t have a TV, or simply hates Andre Agassi and vehemently disagrees with him.
Because if image really is everything, what the hell were they thinking?
Take a good look at it. Can you imagine the designer somewhere in France standing back from his sketch pad, scratching his goateed chin and thinking to himself, “tres bien Claude, c’est magnifique”?
A masterpiece of design, it ain’t. But does that alone make it a bad car? Absolutely not.
Here’s the thing — image isn’t everything. Not at all.
In fact you only need to Google the words “Andre Agassi haircuts” to realise the bloke didn’t know what he was on about.
And when it comes to the Berlingo, beauty really is only skin deep, because its interior is an ode to practicality and functionality.
Everything has been thought about, then thought about some more, to create the ultimate family tool.
For a start there’s a cavernous 186 litres of storage space inside the Tardis-like cabin, which is class-leading.
It’s in part achieved by an aircraft-style cubby hole which runs along the centre of the roof.
Very nifty, and extremely useful. Squint, and you could be on the easyJet flight to Malaga out of Stansted.
Everywhere else you look there’s space for drinks, books, maps, the kitchen sink . . . a dead body.
Then there’s the Berlingo’s signature sliding doors, which feel a bit like a minicab at first.
But after a few days you wonder how you did without them. The car is huge, but parking in tight spaces isn’t a problem thanks to having no need to leave room for open doors.
Talking of minicabs, it can be optioned in seven seats.
This makes the Berlingo the perfect car for a large family or an Uber driver who specialises in stag dos.
Seats fold and flatten with an uncomplicated simplicity rarely seen in cars these days.
Even with them all up, the boot swallows 775 litres, which seems almost impossible to fill.
From the driver’s seat it feels like you are in command of the Starship Enterprise, with a long, sweeping dash that houses up-to-scratch tech and a glossy colour screen. That said, driving the Berlingo is far from fun.
Unless your dream was to one day pilot a London bus, you’re unlikely to fall in love with its clumsy heft.
But like anything, once you get used to the bulk, it becomes normal and is no longer an irritation.
And let’s face it — no one is buying a Berlingo purely for driving thrills.
While the new Berlingo still looks as ugly as manatee with a slapped face, it’s an improvement on the Berlingos of old. It’s vaguely more attractive than Peugeot and Vauxall’s version of the same car (Rifter and Combo).
And it even threatens to look a bit design-forward, thanks to the airbumps nicked from the C4 Cactus and an eye-catching front grille.
The Berlingo is one of those cars I expected to hate, but was gently seduced into liking very much over the course of a week.
It is unpretentious, and is actually a far more practical choice than an SUV for a lot of people.
Don’t be put off by its awkward looks. Image really isn’t everything when choosing the right car for your family.
KEY FACTS
CITROEN BERLINGO PURETECH 110
Price: £18,875
Engine: 1.2l petrol
Economy: 51.4mpg
0-62mph: 11.5 seconds
Top speed: 109mph
Length: 4.4m
CO2: 125g/km
Volkswagen joins the war on cancer
THIS is worthy, but a great cause, so merits shouting about.
Volkswagen Commercial Vehicles is marking Male Health Awareness Month – which is now – by sending a specially converted Crafter van around the country and offering a free check for testicular cancer.
The idea is to promote the idea of checking your balls in the same way you would check your van or car to make sure it’s running soundly.
It’s a partnership with the charity Balls To Cancer, which is in a constant battle against the 2,500 cases of testicular cancer recorded in the UK each year.
Head to for more info.
Reader’s car of the week
HERE’S a picture of an immaculate Triumph TR7, sent in by reader Chris Hall from Kingston upon Hull, East Yorks.
Chris says: “This is a 1982 Triumph TR7 and one of the last 200 ever made.
“I’ve owned him since 1992 and conducted a full restoration, as he was in a sad and sorry state, and painted yellow then.
“With a major makeover and a British Racing Green finish, it now looks and drives the part.”
To see your pride and joy here, send me a picture and brief description to: [email protected].
Bike News
THERE’S a very good reason why you voted the Ducati Panigale Motorcycle Of The Year. It is stunning, delivers one of the purest rides imaginable and boasts levels of power previously unknown.
The other players in the cut-throat 1000cc sports bike market responded this week by unveiling their new weapons at the Milan Motorcycle Show.
BMW updated the clinically brilliant S1000RR, Honda reworked the Fireblade, Aprilia upped power and tech with the RSV4 and Kawasaki tweaked the ZX-10R.
Does that mean Ducati might struggle in 2019. Not by a long shot.
At the top of the Panigale food chain sits the R model, dripping with tech, achingly beautiful and powerful.
The V4 Panigale R weighs just 165kg and, if you tick the right accessory boxes, comes with 234bhp. Yep.
MOST READ IN MOTORS
It revs to 16,500rpm and makes use of the very latest and greatest rider control software. It’s expensive in bike terms, at the thick end of £34k, but you try finding a car that can keep up for even ten times that amount.
If the 2018 Panigale is anything to go by, the new R model from Ducati has little to fear.
- For more, search “bike world” on YouTube or find Bike World on Amazon Prime.
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