The Citroen Berlingo is no masterpiece of design but it’s the ultimate family-friendly car

WHO once said that “image is everything”?

Give up? It was Andre Agassi in a 1989 advert for Canon cameras.

I’m assuming the person who designed the Citroen Berlingo is either too young to remember 1989, didn’t have a TV, or simply hates Andre Agassi and vehemently disagrees with him.

Because if image really is everything, what the hell were they thinking?

Take a good look at it. Can you imagine the designer somewhere in France standing back from his sketch pad, scratching his goateed chin and thinking to himself, “tres bien Claude, c’est magnifique”?

A masterpiece of design, it ain’t. But does that alone make it a bad car? Absolutely not.

Here’s the thing — image isn’t everything. Not at all.

In fact you only need to Google the words “Andre Agassi haircuts” to realise the bloke didn’t know what he was on about.

And when it comes to the Berlingo, beauty really is only skin deep, because its interior is an ode to practicality and functionality.

Everything has been thought about, then thought about some more, to create the ultimate family tool.

For a start there’s a cavernous 186 litres of storage space inside the Tardis-like cabin, which is class-leading.

It’s in part achieved by an aircraft-style cubby hole which runs along the centre of the roof.

Very nifty, and extremely useful. Squint, and you could be on the easyJet flight to Malaga out of Stansted.

Everywhere else you look there’s space for drinks, books, maps, the kitchen sink . . . a dead body.

Then there’s the Berlingo’s signature sliding doors, which feel a bit like a minicab at first.

But after a few days you wonder how you did without them. The car is huge, but parking in tight spaces isn’t a problem thanks to having no need to leave room for open doors.

Talking of minicabs, it can be optioned in seven seats.

This makes the Berlingo the perfect car for a large family or an Uber driver who specialises in stag dos.

Seats fold and flatten with an uncomplicated simplicity rarely seen in cars these days.

Even with them all up, the boot swallows 775 litres, which seems almost impossible to fill.

From the driver’s seat it feels like you are in command of the Starship Enterprise, with a long, sweeping dash that houses up-to-scratch tech and a glossy colour screen. That said, driving the Berlingo is far from fun.

Unless your dream was to one day pilot a London bus, you’re unlikely to fall in love with its clumsy heft.

But like anything, once you get used to the bulk, it becomes normal and is no longer an irritation.

And let’s face it — no one is buying a Berlingo purely for driving thrills.

While the new Berlingo still looks as ugly as manatee with a slapped face, it’s an improvement on the Berlingos of old. It’s vaguely more attractive than Peugeot and Vauxall’s version of the same car (Rifter and Combo).

And it even threatens to look a bit design-forward, thanks to the airbumps nicked from the C4 Cactus and an eye-catching front grille.

The Berlingo is one of those cars I expected to hate, but was gently seduced into liking very much over the course of a week.

It is unpretentious, and is actually a far more practical choice than an SUV for a lot of people.

Don’t be put off by its awkward looks. Image really isn’t everything when choosing the right car for your family.

Volkswagen joins the war on cancer

THIS is worthy, but a great cause, so merits shouting about.

Volkswagen Commercial Vehicles is marking Male Health Awareness Month – which is now – by sending a specially converted Crafter van around the country and offering a free check for testicular cancer.