Not strictly designed for drifting round icy racetracks, this Skoda is more of a big family bus majoring on space, practicality and excellent value
TWO cars with lots of horsepower playing cat and mouse on a frozen lake.
Guess what happened next?
I might have tangled with the Lambo as it spun in front of me.
“You were too close! You were too close!” shouted Julien, my French instructor in the bruised Huracan.
“I cannot see behind me. You were too close.”
I just sat there thinking: ‘You shouldn’t have binned it, mate. You’re the pro.’ But it was fine. Nothing a bit of T-Cut can’t fix.
And so we shook hands and got back to the serious business of drifting. And drifting some more.
Welcome to Lapland Ice Driving school in Arjeplog, northern Sweden, my new favourite place on Earth. It has not one, not two, but FIVE famous race circuits carved into the ice at full 1:1 scale.
It’s a very big lake.
You can lap Silverstone, Paul Ricard, Yas Marina, the Nurburgring and Le Mans, all in a day, and all in somebody’s else’s car.
Take your pick from a Ferrari 458, Porsche GT3, Huracan, Audi R8, Subaru Impreza WRX and Ford Focus RS.
Or turn up in your own seven-seat Skoda and have just as much fun. I mean it.
Drifting is the art of controlling a car that is out of control. And on a frozen lake, 40 miles from the Arctic Circle, there are no barriers to hit, no walls, nothing but fresh snow.
You can nudge 125mph — but I’d rather be sideways.
Julien said: “Within 30 or 45 minutes we can make anyone drift, even your grandmother.
“We had a Red Bull Air Race pilot here last year and he said it was one of his top three life experiences.
“The others were landing a plane on an aircraft carrier and pulling minus-ten and plus-ten G.”
Now, I must say the Skoda Kodiaq vRS is very good. No, sorry. Scratch that. It’s excellent. It’s not really meant for drifting on ice — or hooning around the real Silver-stone GP track back home.
It’s a big family bus majoring on space, practicality and value with umbrellas in the doors.
But it’s also fast, sure-footed and safe and many thousands of pounds cheaper than an Audi Q7.
If you’re a parent and still change shoes to play sport, I’d suggest this is all the car you need.
Under the hood is a 2-litre Biturbo diesel pro-ducing 240hp and 500Nm of torque.
Or in other words, it has lots of power on tap for overtaking and towing caravans and things.
Four-wheel drive, seven-speed DSG gearbox and a cracking chassis with six drive modes all come as standard.
As do 20in alloys, beefy brakes, Alcantara sports seats, vRS detailing, digital driver’s screen, 9.2in central touchscreen and all sorts of driver assistance tech. There is a lot to love here.
Except for three flaws. The artificial exhaust note, the dummy exhaust (on the right) and a cracked front numberplate with Lambo paint on it.
I can’t think how that happened.
FOOTNOTE. The little prang happened during a photoshoot. Two cars don’t normally race each other.
A two-day experience at Lapland Ice Driving, including accommodation and five hours of tuition, starts at £4,300.
SKODA KODIAQ vRS
Price: £42,870
Engine: 2-litre diesel turbo (240hp)
0-62mph: 7 seconds
Top speed: 136mph
Economy: 35mpg
CO2: 167g/km
McLAREN claims it takes 300 man hours to build a Senna.
That’s a lie. It’s 30 minutes max on a kitchen table.
And this one is £749,987.01 cheaper.
The LEGO Senna, £12.99.
But be quick – the P1 and 720S quickly sold out.
WANT. This 1978 Ford Fiesta – displayed at The Science Museum in London for 35 years – will be auctioned online by H&H Classics on February 2, estimated at £6,500 to £8,500.
It has 141 miles on the clock.
TWEET of the week. “Breaking News. Philip OK after big off on SS1.”
He’d do well on the Monte Carlo Rally this weekend. Good luck Elfyn, good luck Kris.
SATNAV songs, week four: I’m Depending On You (Otis Redding);
The Long And Winding Road (The Beatles);
U-turn (Usher); Staying Alive (Bee Gees);
Anything by the Tom Tom Club.
Tweet me yours
