Bloke leaves hilarious note to ‘cheeky b*****d’ who used his England football towel after finding it in work shower

A MAN has left a hilarious note to the “cheeky b*****d” who used his England football towel twice before parading it around “like a serial killer’s victim”.

The unnamed man was horrified to see his beloved wet towel “tossed over the side of the shower” at Portcullis House, where a lot of MPs’ offices are based in Westminster.

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He jokingly threatened that he will find the culprit and said there will be a “reckoning” – adding that he “will make what Liam Neeson did to those Albanian fellas look like a teddy bear’s picnic”.

The worker quipped he would “set up a go-pro” to unmask their identity after they used it twice in the 4th floor bathrooms.

He taped his A4 message on the front of the door and wrote “ATTENTION” in block capitals at the start of his comical warning.

He went on: “To the cheeky b*****d who has taken my England football towel and left it draped over the shower – not once – but twice in the last week, I have a message for you.

But to leave it wet, dishevelled, casually tossed over the side of the shower, like a serial killer parading the corpse of his victim, is unforgivable.

Towel owner

“I will find you. And when I do, there will be a reckoning. To use it once, fair enough – we’ve all been there – you forgot your towel and you’re desperate.

“But to leave it wet, dishevelled, casually tossed over the side of the shower, like a serial killer parading the corpse of his victim, is unforgivable.

“I have toyed with several ideas to unmask your identity. Setting up a go-pro in the bathroom, smearing my towel in pine nut oil in the hope that you have a nut allergy.

“But for now I have settled upon recruiting a crack-team of undercover operatives who work on the PCH 4th floor.

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“They are watching. I am watching. (I should clarify, I haven’t set up a go-pro…).

“When I find you, I’ll make what Liam Neeson did to those Albanian fellas look like a teddy bear’s picnic. (Unless you’re a bird, in which case I’ll just let you buy me a drink).

“YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.”

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