CONTROL FREAK
Killer rugby star Rowan Baxter punished wife if she didn’t have sex with him every day and demanded she wear tights
KILLER rugby star Rowan Baxter would punish and control his wife if she didn't have sex with him every day or wear 'appropriate' clothing, a friend has revealed.
Hannah Clarke suffered a decade-long campaign of abuse before she and their three young children were burned to death in an horrific car fire in Australia.
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Gym friend Manja Whaley said Baxter, 42, used emotionally abusive and controlling tactics and regularly threatened to punish his wife and children.
Speaking out for the first time on Thursday, she told "Emotional abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse ... she had experienced all of those."
But because the former rugby player "didn't hit her" the mother-of-three was unaware she was in a domestic violence relationship.
"I work in domestic violence," Ms Whaley explained.
"So when she first confided in me we spoke about the violence and for such a long time she didn't believe she was in a domestic violence relationship.
"It hadn't crossed her mind, because as she said to me, her words, 'he didn't hit me'.
If she didn't have sex with him, he would punish not only her but also the children.
Friend, Manja Whaley
"I then started unpacking with her the emotional abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, and she had experienced all of those.
"And some of the things that she would explain was this excessive control of Rowan, the sexual abuse daily, and if she didn't have sex with him, he would punish not only her but also the children.
"She wouldn't be allowed to go to the gym which was not only her passion but her outlet.
"There was the checking of her accounts on Facebook, the accusations of her cheating, if she was having messages with males, even males he knew through the gym, he would accuse her of being flirtatious."
The control would extend to even what the murdered mother-of-three wore, her friend continued.
"He would say things to her - like 'look at your stomach, that's just disgusting'.
"She would always come to the gym in tights, and he didn't like her wearing shorts because she would be promiscuous.
"So, it was all of that. Just that control and manipulation, threats, and, yeah, just threats to punish, not only her but also her children."
One of the punishments, Ms Whaley alleged, included not allowing the children to go to the beach on a Sunday.
She would always come to the gym in tights, and he didn't like her wearing shorts because she would be promiscuous.
Manja Whaley
"My hope is that people are more aware of domestic violence... just because you haven't been beaten doesn't mean that there is no domestic violence.
"I hope that women in this situation at home, hearing this or reading anything and go, 'Actually, this is what's happening to me,' and they reach out. Because it is dangerous.
"Hopefully the public can be aware of the domestic violence signs and when a woman talks about their relationship, help that person and say, "this is not okay ... there is help out there' and seek help with that person."
Just because you haven't been beaten doesn't mean that there is no domestic violence.
Manja Whaley
Baxter doused his family in petrol before setting it alight on Wednesday morning.
His wife Hannah, 31, daughters Laianah, six, and Aaliyah, four, and son Trey, three, were trapped in the car as it erupted in flames.
Hannah was on her way to driving the children to school when Baxter ambushed them.
She jumped from the wreckage and was rushed to hospital with "significant burns", but succumbed to her injuries and died hours later.
Hannah's parents, Lloyd and Suzanne Clarke, have also publicly said their daughter had left Baxter after spending 11 years in an abusive marriage.
They said Baxter's actions had been the end of a "downward spiral" of "frightening and monstrous" behaviour.
The couple had separated and were in the midst of custody arrangements.
Baxter died on the street after stabbing himself.
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Several children and one adult killed in deliberate car fire at Camp Hill suburb of Brisbane, Australia
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