I lost £160k after I ‘married’ a conman who stole my life savings
AFTER 12 years living alone, Carol Goodall, 61, thought her dreams had come true when she met charming and generous Gary online.
But what started as a whirlwind love story - which saw him propose just a few months in - soon turned into a nightmare when he duped her and another woman out of a combined total of £210,000.
Carol is now sharing her story, along with two other victims, as experts and charities warn of a rise in reports of romance fraud in the run up to Christmas.
- the UK’s national reporting centre for fraud and cybercrime - has seen a 26 per cent rise in reports in the last year, as cruel criminals fleece lonely and older victims out of their life savings.
Lisa Mills, Sussex’s senior fraud manager, says: “Every person in our community is potentially vulnerable to fraud, but for those who live alone or who are feeling particularly lonely at present, this risk will be heightened in the lead up to Christmas."
As part of the The Sun's Christmas Together campaign which helps to combat loneliness, we are shining a light on how sick scammers prey on vulnerable people.
And dementia carer Carol, 61, knows only too well how sinister some of these romance fraudsters can be.
‘I’d been lonely for so long and he made me feel safe and happy'
The mum, from Haywards Heath in West Sussex, was duped out of her home and savings in 2015 by a conman who made a career out of deceiving women and stealing their money.
Richard Robinson was for 10 years this July for his fraud against Carol and a second woman, deceiving them out of a combined total of £210,000.
Carol, who has two grown up children, first began talking to Robinson - who then went by the name Gary Rogers - on dating website Plenty Of Fish in 2015.
Carol, who had previously been married for 25 years says: “After 12 years alone, I missed having a partner.”
“From the moment we met at a pub on Boxing Day in 2015, Gary – as he called himself - was the perfect gentleman, always giving me compliments, paying for meals and taking me away for weekends.
“He said he was a twice-married divorcee with three grown-up children, whose first wife had died of cancer.
“He ran his own motor business and seemed solid and secure; even my kids liked him.”
The romance progressed quickly and Gary proposed over dinner, at the start of 2016.
“I was gobsmacked. We barely knew each other,” she recalls.
“Saying yes to this virtual stranger may have seemed reckless to other people but I’d been lonely for so long and he made me feel safe and happy.”
While the relationship was going from strength to strength, Carol admits she did spot a couple of red flags early on - but brushed them aside.
The Sun’s Christmas Together campaign
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“I never went to his place or met any of his children," she says.
“He claimed he’d sold his house and was temporarily living in a pub, and his children were dispersed all over the country, making meeting them logistically difficult.”
Carol says he eventually convinced her to sell her home, promising that they could pool resources and buy a bigger place together, once his divorce papers came through.
“I gave Gary the proceeds of my house as well as £60,000 of my children’s inheritance money which he agreed to invest, all with their consent and knowledge as they trusted him too,” she says.
This whole time, she says Gary had been pushing for a church wedding, but they ended up postponing it by a couple of months, until November 2016, as he claimed there were issues with his divorce paperwork.
“Of course, I should have noted the red flag at this point, especially when the paperwork still wasn’t ready by November so we had the ceremony – now a ‘blessing’ rather than a legal wedding - in front of 70 of our family and friends at a country house hotel," she says.
"But I was too excited to spend my life with this wonderful man."
'My life is wrecked and I’m still reeling'
For the next few months, Carol says they were happier than ever together. However, things started to go downhill around April the following year.
Having moved into a rental property in Ferring, West Sussex, Carol recalls: "I got a text one night to say he wouldn’t be home because he had to do some work for a friend.”
From there she began noticing Gary disappearing at weekends, each time claiming that he was working on boats to earn them some more money.
“We started having arguments, he’d send me photographs of money, lots of money, on a bed – saying, ‘this is what I’m collecting for us’," she says.
It continued for around a year, before his lies were finally exposed in 2018 - when Carol says she received a text from another woman.
When she called her back, she discovered Gary had actually been visiting her at the weekends - and conning both of them at the same time.
Horrified, they both went to the police. Carol had lost around £160,000 in total in the elaborate con, after the fraudster stole the money she'd got from her house sale, as well as her kids' savings she'd thought he was investing.
The police were never able to retrieve any of the money, as Carol says 'Gary' refused to say where it was or if he'd spent it.
“He might be in jail now but my life is wrecked and I’m still reeling,” she says. “I’m living in a rented house, working 70 hours a week just to make ends meet and have to put on a brave face every day.
“Although I’d still love to meet someone, I am now resigned to a life alone because, after what he did, I can’t ever trust a man again... Loneliness is a horrible thing, but more so at Christmas."
Alex Rothwell, a temporary Detective Chief Superintendent from the City of London Police, has warned that romance fraudsters are “experts at impersonating people”.
While many victims are initially targeted through social media platforms and dating sites, they’re often then encouraged to move on to another platform like Whastapp.
From there, an approach for money can be made as soon as a week in.
In Carol's case, the fraudster's lies continued in real life - but for some, the relationship exists largely online.
‘I was totally blind’
One man who experienced these cruel tactics was former lorry driver Mike Curzon, 60, from Selsey in Sussex.
He was conned out of £20,000 earlier this year after falling in love with a scammer he believed was a 36-year-old American barmaid called Patricia.
Where to find help and support
If you suspect you've fallen victim to romance fraud, you should contact your bank immediately so they can try and recover any money lost.
To report a suspected romance fraud, visit or call 0300 123 2040.
You can also contact your local police station.
You can find help and support at , or by calling 0808 168 9111.
also offers support to older victims.
Contact the 24-hour helpline on 116 123 if you need further support of someone to talk to.
Divorced Mike had been single and living alone for around six years when Patricia first messaged him on Twitter in December last year.
“We were talking every night from the start, always at 2 or 3am for me,” he says.
While he says he was initially wary due to their age gap, Patricia reassured him she was comfortable with it - and showered him with compliments from word go.
He adds: “We’d be chatting for four or five hours a night and she’d be sending me photo after photo.”
Mike says Patricia confessed her love for him within a week - and was even discussing marriage.
“I couldn’t believe it, everything was happening so fast. I was totally blind,” he says. “She lifted me up, knowing someone was still interested in me.”
The request for money came within weeks. Mike recalls she allegedly needed money for a passport to fly over and meet him. That then escalated, with her claiming she needed thousands to prove she could support herself, as well as a passport and air fare for her ‘son’.
I couldn’t believe it, everything was happening so fast. I was totally blind. She lifted me up, knowing someone was still interested in me.
Mike Curzon
The demands continued in the following months, and love-struck Mike ended up selling his van, some of his most prized possessions and even borrowed money from his brother.
“I was drastically struggling for money myself at this point, I was scraping the barrel and got myself into debt," he says.
Mike says he was persuaded to send money, via Paypal, Amazon vouchers or money transfers to several different addresses.
He was initially suspicious when Patricia phoned him on his birthday in May, but cut the call off after just a few seconds.
The next time they spoke, she claimed another man she’d been speaking to would be transferring £1,500 into Mike's account. She wanted him to withdraw it, and send it to her via Bitcoin.
“That was it then for me,” Mike says, having realised she'd deceived another man into giving her money.
While his bank was able to retrieve £1,500, the rest was lost.
“I was very, very depressed, but there’s no chance of getting it back, so I’m moving on,” he says. Mike chose not to message Patricia again, and completely blocked her.
Mike is now focusing on piecing his life back together and is dating someone new, who lives close to him. While he says the nightmare left him shaken, spending time with his new partner face-to-face has built up his trust again.
Action Fraud confirmed that Mike’s case was assessed by the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau at the City of London Police, but it found there “were not any leads that would result in a successful criminal investigation at this time”.
Shockingly, reports to Action Fraud have soared to more than 600 per month in the UK since June - following the first national lockdown - from an average of more than 400 monthly beforehand.
And reported losses totalled more than £66 million between August 2019 and August 2020 - an average of just over £10,000 per victim.
‘My stomach fell’
Claire*, 55, who has chosen to remain anonymous, narrowly avoided being conned out of £20,000 during the first national lockdown by a scammer who claimed to be in the British Army and on a special operation in Afghanistan.
She too was showered with compliments, with the man even proposing to her by sending a photo showing an officer on one knee beside an armoured truck.
Loneliness by numbers
1 in 5 people fear they won’t see anyone over Christmas
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She says he eventually attempted to fleece her out of thousands by claiming he needed help to have a large box of money shipped back to the UK, for her to take care of for their ‘future together’.
“All the while he’d be sending me beautiful texts,” she says. “I did ask the questions, I even considered a scam, but he always turned it round on me.”
It was ultimately the proposal photo that caught him out, however, as one of Claire’s friends noticed the uniform was years out of date.
“My stomach fell.. [I was] just on the floor. That was when the penny dropped,” she says.
'Lockdown has isolated many older people'
Her swift reporting, shortly after transferring the bulk of the money, meant she was able to get all her money back - something many victims aren’t fortunate enough to achieve.
Action Fraud, alongside other charities and local police forces, are now working to stamp out these horrific scams.
Victim Support’s Lisa says: “My words of warning are, if you are on a dating site, you have to stay on that secure messaging site for as long as possible.
“Don’t overshare too much information, because that’s not two-way. Don’t keep the relationship a secret if they ask you to, and most importantly, don’t give them any money.”
Tips to stay safe online
- Be wary of giving out personal information
- Never agree to keep your online relationship a secret
- Get to know the person and not the profile
- Never send money or share your bank details on the platform
- Stay on the dating messenger service until confident the person is who they say they are
- Run a search on the internet for their name or any picture they have sent along with the term ‘scam’
Source: PC Bernadette Lawrie, Financial Abuse Safeguarding Officer from Sussex and Surrey Police.
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Action Fraud has received 402,540 reports of fraud and cyber crime between October 2019 and October 2020, which has equated to £2.5bn in reported losses over that period.
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’s Charity Director Caroline Abrahams says: “Lockdown has isolated many older people from sources of companionship and support which may make them more vulnerable to these scams.”
To report a romance fraud, visit or call 0300 123 2040, or your local police station. You can also find help and support at , or by calling 0808 168 9111.