'I'M NO CATFISH'
I’m a trans woman and I don’t tell men I kiss on nights out – people say it’s assault but why should I?
A WOMAN has hit back at trolls who say it's "assault" not to reveal she's transgender to men flirting with her on nights out.
Tayla Dow says it wouldn't be safe to tell every boozed-up bloke that approaches her about her personal information - and in that kind of setting, "they don't deserve to know".
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The 20-year-old felt forced to justify her standpoint after being inundated with negative comments branding her a "catfish".
They claimed she would be "misleading" men in clubs by not disclosing that she's trans before allowing them to buy her drinks and kiss her.
However, Tayla said she feels that sharing a peck "isn't too far" sexually without disclosing her gender identity.
In a candid video, the social worker says she always tells her partners that she's trans before going on dates or having any sexual contact with them - but before those stages it's "none of their business".
Tayla, from Bolton, Greater Manchester, said: "I get quite a bit of male attention on nights out but I don't go out to seek that out, I just go out to have fun.
"If someone approaches me in a club scenario when everyone's drunk, and I know not all men are okay with it, I don't feel like it's safe for me to expose everything about my life, especially to someone that I don't even know for the sake of them buying me a drink or whatever.
"As long as it's nothing sexual I feel like it's none of their business."
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She continued: "If someone is to kiss me then I don't say anything unless I feel comfortable telling them.
"I don't think that's too far and I don't see it as assault at all, people take it the wrong way.
"There's men who go out to clubs and get with girls who've got girlfriends at home, there's people who've got STDs that have sex with people after a night out and don't tell them.
"Of course, if it was anything sexual or serious, like meeting up and going on a date, then I'd tell them."
In the clip, shared on TikTok, Tayla urged people to "put themselves in my shoes" - but "if you have a prejudice against trans people then you're never going to understand it".
She added: "There's loads of people being like 'you should be telling men you're trans on a night out, they deserve to know, you're sick, you're vile, blah blah blah'.
"No I'm not, they don't deserve to know."
Tayla said she realised she was trans around the age of 13 and that social media gave her more insight into the trans community.
After keeping it to herself until she left school, the teen came out at 16 and visited her GP who referred her to a specialist gender clinic.
She then began transitioning with hormone replacement therapy and experimenting with makeup, hair and outfits.
'NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS'
Now a fully-fledged young woman, she said she often gets men approaching her trying to chat her up.
But furious trolls accused her of "assault" for not disclosing her gender identity, with some going as far as to say "this should be illegal".
Another commented: "It is most certainly their business, you are taking their choice away."
However, others came out in support of Tayla, insisting she is right to protect herself and put her safety first.
One said: "People acting like you should have it written on your forehead. As long as you tell them before engaging in sexual activity it's not anyone's business."
Another said: "It's unnecessary [because] she'll most likely never see them again and honestly just dangerous."
Tayla has spent £30,000 on procedures to transition into her dream look, including facial feminisation surgery last year.
This involved seven procedures to her face - a rhinoplasty, chin augmentation, forehead reconstruction, brow bone shave and lift, hairline lowering and implants under her eyes.
She has also had lip and cheek filler and wears pricey £850 extensions as part of her glam aesthetic.
The social worker says these procedures have helped her transition and gain social acceptance as a woman but admits that dating remains "complicated".
I don't feel like it's safe for me to expose everything about my life.
Tayla Dow
Tayla, who openly states she's trans in her Tinder bio so that men "know from the get go", said: "Obviously I'm quite lucky to have a passing privilege, meaning I pass as a woman easier I guess because I've had stuff done so it's easier for people to be attracted to me.
"But when it comes to actual dating it becomes difficult because even if the person is okay with it, their family and friends would have to be okay with it as well, and they would have to be okay with not having biological kids unless we got a surrogate.
"Some people are fine with it, some people aren't, I guess it just depends on preference, which is fine.
"It's there in my Tinder bio for them to read so they can make their opinions and decisions based on that information.
"Some people match me and then un-match me without saying anything. Some people can be a bit insensitive or some people are absolutely fine with it and just talk to me normally."
Tayla hopes that by posting about her transition and the transphobic comments she receives, she can help combat prejudiced views and abuse.
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"I think the negative comments come from a place of prejudice or people not being educated enough," she said.
"They don't understand that I'm still a woman."
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