Tory Kemi Badenoch makes Labour look like the woking dead and might just be Starmer’s worst nightmare
SIR Keir Starmer has a recurring nightmare. Wakes him up at the same time every night, howling at the moon. And here’s the best bit – it MIGHT just come true.
Here’s what haunts the Labour leader. What if, suddenly, the Conservative Party were led not by a white, Old Etonian, middle-aged t***er? What if, instead, it were led by a very bright, confident young black woman who once worked in McDonald’s? A woman with a bit of charisma?
And who was determined to wage War against Woke?
In an election, Labour wouldn’t stand a chance. Not a hope.
Well, that woman might just be Kemi Badenoch, the Conservative MP for Saffron Walden in Essex.
She’s of Nigerian heritage, but was born British. Worked in a fast-food joint to pay her way through college. She’s standing in the Conservative leadership election — and her bandwagon is beginning to pick up momentum.
Badenoch is a living refutation of the modern, knee-bending, identitarian Labour Party. Sir Keir’s party patronises black people, just as it patronises women. It pats them on the head and tells them they won’t get anywhere without Labour.
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But it won’t ever let a woman or someone who is black or brown actually lead the party. No siree. It treats black people and women as needy children. It is, in its essence, racist.
The Conservative Party’s leadership contest is full of men and women from ethnic minority backgrounds who have made great successes of their lives.
Who do not see themselves, as Labour does with all minorities, as victims. Who do not cry “racist!” at the drop of a hat, as Labour does. Who are actually proud of this country and delighted to live here, unlike the white Labour lefties.
Because they know that this country is not the imperialist, racist hellhole depicted by the likes of Jeremy Corbyn and others.
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But a welcoming democracy where it is possible to realise your ambitions.
None know this better than Kemi Badenoch.
And the great thing is she is determined to turn back the woke tide which has engulfed our country in the last ten years. The absurdities over transgender rights, where a tiny liberal elite are forcing ludicrous propaganda on the rest of us.
A new opinion poll shows that overwhelmingly — by which I mean 98 per cent — British people are opposed to such stuff as the re-gendering of toilets.
Of transgendered men being allowed in women’s spaces. Of blokes competing against women in sport.
Kemi is determined to stop all that stuff — and as that opinion poll showed, she would have the support of virtually the entire country.
She doesn’t believe in “positive discrimination” either nor the poisonous creed of Black Lives Matter. She doesn’t like schools teaching young kids about the benefits of changing sex.
I suspect she doesn’t have much time for police forces painting their patrol cars in rainbow colours, either.
In other words, she is on the side of the vast majority.
It’s about time, mind — the Conservative Party has had seven years to kick back against this nonsense, but has failed to do so.
What we need now is for Tory MPs to recognise what a great electoral asset Kemi Badenoch would be.
And to vote accordingly. Then we can all sit back and enjoy the utterly desolate expression on Sir Keir Starmer’s face.
BALMY TIPS SO BARMY
LISTEN, I can take the heatwave, no problem.
Boxer shorts stored in the fridge (next to the roast chicken). Iced tea on tap. Occasionally hose the dog down. All perfectly fine.
What I don’t think I can take is any more stupid bloody advice from either the Government or the TV weather monkeys about how not to die when the temperature exceeds 18C.
How thick do they think we are? Yes, I will take it easy and cool down, thank you. The thought had never occurred to me. I was also entirely unaware that a cool, damp towel on the neck helped to combat the effects of the heat.
Whodathunkit? There is no form of weather they will not scare us with. When it’s cold we’re all going to cop it from hypothermia. When it’s wet everywhere is in danger of washing away and drowning us.
And the forecasters tell us we’ll need our “wellies”. When it’s windy we’re all in danger of being blown aloft, like Judy Garland in The Wizard Of Oz.
Put a sock in it you dweebs, and allow us to enjoy basking in the sun for a few days, will you?
DYB DYB DIVVY . .
THE heatwave takes me back with great happiness to the warm summer of 1970, when I was a Cub Scout.
On a really baking day our pack was at some jamboree. And we were due to be inspected by none other than the District Commissioner – a very pompous ex-military type in his sixties.
Our Akela – my mum, as it happened – made it clear that, on pain of death, if the DC were to speak to any of us we should be ULTRA polite and always call him “sir”.
Well, he made his way down the line and everyone behaved themselves . . . until he reached a small ginger boy called Robin.
“How are you enjoying this lovely weather?” he asked.
And Robin replied: “It’s very nice, sir, except my balls are sticking together.”
DEATH A PUSS POINT
OPEN a newspaper on any given day of the week and you’ll find a Tory MP in some sort of trouble.
Either doing someone they shouldn’t. Or groping. Or lying. Or having a certain reluctance to pay their fair share of tax. You can bet on it.
The latest is Tobias Ellwood, MP for Bournemouth East. Some of his constituents are angry because he apparently ran over a cat and didn’t stop to see if it was dead.
For once I have some sympathy with the bloke.
You can’t always tell if you’ve run over a cat, for a start. Not unless there’s a really meaty crunch.
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Second, if cats were subjected to the same sort of controls as dogs, far fewer would get run over.
And third, Ellwood inadvertently saved the lives of about 500 wild birds and animals by removing their chief predator.
LIBERAL LUNACY
AND so – it’s happened again.
More than 1,000 young girls groomed, raped and abused by Asian men. This time in Telford, in Shropshire.
A damning inquiry found that all of the authorities turned a blind eye. Because they didn’t want to inflame racial tensions in the area.
The police dropped cases “like a hot potato” because they didn’t want to be seen as being racist.
It is a shocking indictment of the police – and there should be prosecutions of those who connived in the cover-up.
I wonder how many other girls in other towns across the country suffered similarly? The towns we don’t know about?
Remember – political correctness kills. It is the bane of our age.