Theresa May should call snap election and drive Labour into the ground before Sturgeon can deal Brexit blow for Jockistan
She'll need a stronger majority to pass the Great Repeal Bill invalidating EU Law in the UK - as plenty of MPs are desperate to shut it down
I FEAR Theresa May will have to think the unthinkable and contemplate holding a General Election in the spring.
It is becoming clearer by the day that a good percentage of Parliament is prepared to defy the will of the people and vote down the Great Repeal Bill which will claw back power from Europe.
The Conservative majority is only 16. MPs from Jockistan will definitely vote No, as will the Lib Dems.
Although Labour is split on Europe, the opportunity of putting the Tories to the sword will surely be too attractive to miss.
As Mrs May glances round her own benches looking for loyalty in these difficult times, what does she see?
A rather chirpy George Osborne, who has recovered his equilibrium after his career tragedy with the Brexit vote and is waiting to place the knife firmly between the PM’s shoulder blades, plus an emboldened Nicky Morgan who would love to get her revenge for being shown the door by Mrs M.
Yes, there are enemies galore and they are nearly all behind her.
Throw in some poor economic news and you can see the great unwashed will become uppity.
And that is why Mrs May needs to be bold.
Not in my lifetime has Labour looked so weak and the Lib Dems so irrelevant.
If a defeat is on the cards she should go for a snap General Election, giving the minimum notice of a few weeks.
My bet is she would win by a minimum of 70-odd seats, all of whom would be Brexiteers, and then she could return to the Commons in triumph for the next five years and hit the EU right out of the ground in negotiations.
If she hesitates she could be another Gordon Brown.
And nobody would want that.
Weller's concert for Corbyn is standard left hypocrisy
I NOTE that Paul Weller is turning out in a month or two at a “concert for Corbyn” gig organised by the ultra-Lefties of Momentum, whose major policy is to keep Labour out of power for decades.
The last time Weller, the former Jam and Style Council frontman, exercised his vocals for the socialists was back in the Eighties when he raised a few bob for Neil Kinnock.
Mr Kinnock does not share Weller’s enthusiasm for Corbyn, saying there is no chance of his party gaining power under him in his lifetime. Mind you, he is 74.
Hard to see the link between Mr Weller and the Lefties either. Today he has lovely homes in North London and in Ripley, Surrey, where a neighbour is Chancellor Philip Hammond.
And when his dad was extremely unwell he was treated not in the local NHS hospital but in the Runnymede, a private clinic next door.
But I suppose nobody should be surprised as hypocrisy runs pretty deep in the upper reaches of Labour these days.
Putting aside Baroness Chakrabarti sending her kid to an £18,000-a-year school while joining the Shadow Cabinet, I am quite taken by the revelation that the wife of Seumas Milne, Corbyn’s Left-hand man and Director of Comms, uses her £2million house in Richmond, South West London, to coach children for selective schools.
So under Corbyn it will all be big houses, private education and private health, but just for him and his chums.
The rest of us can whistle.
Playing the safety game
HAVE you noticed how all the hopeless England footballers are now saying they want the “brilliant” Gareth Southgate to get the manager’s job permanently?
Excuse me while I throw up. They all said the same about Allardyce. And about Hodgson. And about Walter Winterbottom.
They are bound to say it. To say England shouldn’t touch Southgate with a bargepole would mean they would never play again.
Perhaps the media covering England might earn their pay by finding out what the players are really thinking rather than writing all that PR rubbish.
My bet is that Scotland beat England next month.
Then the players will be saying that the “brilliant” Charlton manager Russell Slade should be the next manager.
If lowly Charlton lose against Coventry tomorrow, Slade will be made available for his country.
Brilliant.
Don't go coffin up a fortune
NOT sure what shape your nearest and dearest are in but if you are short of money and a relative is on the verge of popping their clogs, could I suggest you go on a site I have just stumbled across.
It’s called Comparethecoffin.com. Seriously. And that’s what it does.
You can have an English willow (£695) American white (£1,065) or go downmarket and have a red banana leaf (£275).
They do a cardboard coffin which can carry folk up to 23st (another LighterLife failure, presumably) and you will be pleased to learn they have been tested by the little-known Federation of British Cremation Authorities.
The site is surprisingly well done and must have cost a fortune to design.
The average funeral costs around £3,500 but I imagine if you are prepared to go down the banana route, use your neighbour’s Mercedes estate to carry the coffin, hire a couple of Poles to dig the hole and make your own sausage rolls you could do the whole lot for under £400.
Be fascinated to know the cheapest funeral you have either organised or attended.
Will need the detail and the prices.
Do send your funeral stories to kelvin@ the-sun.co.uk.
Time to see the light
IF I didn’t need any more proof that LighterLife was a racket I see they receive four stars from those charlatans at Trustpilot.
Whenever you see an endorsement from Trustpilot keep well away.
The reality is that firms like LighterLife and Trustpilot probably get their friends and family to send in 30 emails posing as customer endorsements to Trustpilot, and perhaps in return for a large monthly cheque can use the stars to bamboozle customers into believing they are a fine and upstanding firm.
Uniquely, both are running a kind of fraud.
You won’t keep your weight down with LighterLife and the stars from Trustpilot are complete nonsense.
I’d be grateful if the Competitions And Markets Authority hurry up and publish their report on them.
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Judges must remember to be sympathetic
I FEEL sorry for Will Young. He has clearly had his mental problems.
So it was wholly wrong for Strictly’s Len Goodman to tell him in front of a TV audience of five million: “Show up, keep up and shut up.”
That may or may not have triggered Will into quitting the show but it clearly didn’t help.
Being a judge is easy.
Being an amateur is tough.
Len and Co have forgotten that and need reminding.
You'll pay for your loyalty
WITH gas and electricity prices set to rise sharply due to sterling’s 14 per cent fall (energy prices are paid in dollars), you must follow the example of column reader Dennis Buxton, who switched and saved £1,315 on his four-bedroom home in Southampton.
True, he did it through but I don’t care if you go to GoCompare, Confused or whatever, loyalty does not pay in the energy market.
After five years with one supplier, garage owner Dennis saw his monthly payments fall from £281 a month to £183.
Love your savings stories. Please send them to ke[email protected].
Punnies
HAIRDRESSERS in Stoke – Alias Quiff and Combs.
Garage repair shop in Rochester, Kent – Wreck-A-Mended.
Painter and decorators van in Gravesend, Kent – Dabb Hands.
Water cooler business in Texas – H202U.
Florists in St Helens, Lancs – Thistle Dew Nicely.
On the back of a turf lorry in Tean, Staffs – Here today, lawn tomorrow.
Handbag shop in Swanage, Dorset – Pursenalities.
Dog groomers in Lancing, West Sussex – Scruffy 2 Fluffy.
All your own work and the best thing on the page.
Send more punnies to [email protected].
Pub Landlord show is st-ale
WAS at the Albert Hall on Tuesday night for Al Murray’s one-man show The Pub Landlord. It was a disappointment.
Basically the same show I had seen four years ago pulling the old trick of using punters in the front row as the butt of his wit.
He needs some fresh ideas and fresh writing.
I might not have cared so much if I hadn’t paid £138 a ticket, although my smarter brother paid £26... and he didn’t like it either.