Gary Lineker’s dead right on the subject of refugee children… but he is also totally wrong
Pundit has accused vast swathes of the nation of being 'hideously' racist, but Jeremy believes we've been left in a situation where 'the right thing to do is almost certainly the wrong thing to do'
GARY LINEKER split the nation this week when he announced on social media that banning refugee children from entering Britain is “hideously racist”.
Some said he should be beheaded for such treachery and pointed out that he can’t ask the country to take in these 32- year-old children until he has filled his own house first.
Others said it was about time that a crisp enthusiast from the world of football stuck his head above the parapet and said what needed saying.
I guess this is to be expected. If you put your penis into a beehive, some of it is going to get covered in honey. And some of it is going to get stung. On the face of it, Gary seems to make a good point. I don’t agree that it’s racist to limit the number of people coming into the country. But it does appear to be unkind.
We know that the Russians are bombing the crap out of various Syrian cities and we know that ordinary families are having to flee as a result.
We listen to their plight every night on the news. We see footage of the ruins where they used to live. And then we go to the pub.
This is exactly what George Bernard Shaw was on about when he said: “The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: That’s the essence of inhumanity.”
He’s right. When you watch a nature documentary, you always wonder why an entire herd of wildebeest carries on munching away at the grass while, right next to them, one of their number is being eaten by a lion.
It’s because they’re animals, of course. They don’t really have the capacity to care.
How can you tell the difference between someone who wants to come here to blow you up and someone who wants to open a shop? You can’t
Humans, on the other hand, do have the capacity to care and yet, when it comes to the Syrians, we don’t. Not really.
Gary therefore is quite right. We should open our doors immediately and let them all in.
Unfortunately, he’s also completely wrong because the one thing we cannot do at the moment is have an immigration free-for-all.
Think about it. IS and all the other groups of ne’er-do-wells in the Middle East are on the run.
The Syrian government is about to retake what’s left of Aleppo.
And the Kurds, backed by British bombs, are having similar success in the Iraqi city of Mosul.
This means that soon, the people doing the fleeing will be the terrorists. And where will they flee to, do you suppose?
There will be thousands of them, heading for Europe — and how can you tell the difference between someone who wants to come here to blow you up and someone who wants to open a shop?
You can’t.
In most situations there is a right thing to do. But with this particular crisis, the right thing to do is almost certainly the wrong thing to do.
SO, Russia mocked the Royal Navy as “weak” as it sailed an entire carrier battle group towards the English Channel this week.
On the surface, literally, that certainly appeared to be the case because our response to this gigantic flotilla was to send HMS Duncan.
That’s a stupid name for a warship. You may as well call it HMS Vulnerable. Or HMS Weak. However, let’s not forget, shall we, that the Royal Navy was almost certainly shadowing the Russians from under the water with one of its seven nuclear submarines.
Or even one of its four missile boats.
And we only need one of those to wipe Moscow off the map.
HONEY, I WASTED 3 HOURS
WE are forever being warned by experts not to smoke or play on the railway lines or use our mobile phones in aeroplanes.
Well, now it’s my turn to issue perhaps the gravest warning of them all.
Do not go and see the movie American Honey.
I’ve seen some bad films in my time – Cluedo, Fantasia and Batman vs Superman spring to mind – but American Honey is in a league of its own.
Designed to appeal only to Guardian readers, it is two-and- three-quarter hours long and in all of that time, absolutely nothing happens.
Then it just stops.
It actually annoys me that this is a chunk of my life that I will never get back.
But more than this, it annoys me because of all the great films that don’t get made.
Because the film companies were busy making this self-important, pompous twaddle.
Rare type of puffin’ at Korean zoo
WE discovered this week that a chimpanzee in one of North Korea’s zoos has learned to smoke.
It uses a cigarette lighter to spark up its tabs and entertains visitors by sitting on a rock, puffing away.
This, of course, has outraged the world’s fresh air fanatics, who say it’s completely wrong that a chimp should be allowed to smoke.
They also criticise what they call the zoo’s dog pavilion, in which every known breed is on display. I think, however, that it’s probably not a pavilion at all. My bet is that it’s the restaurant.
RIGHT up to the moment the polls closed, the Labour candidate in David Cameron’s old constituency of Witney really did believe he was in with a shout of winning.
Although it must be said that the photographic evidence from his own Twitter feed suggested otherwise . . .
And it turned out the picture wasn’t lying.
PARDON ME... AND HIM AND HIM...
THIRTY-FIVE thousand dead people who were convicted of same-sex acts when homosexuality was illegal were posthumously pardoned this week.
Next, the authorities will pardon anyone who was convicted in the Middle Ages of being a witch. And then, finally, they’ll have the time to fully investigate all the dead people who were paedophiles.
Meanwhile, if your house is burgled, you are held in a queue and your call will be answered shortly.
Fight by a pair of no marks
WHAT’S been interesting about these presidential debates in America is that everyone from Bruce Springsteen to @Bantz_69 on my Twitter feed is vehemently opposed to Donald Trump.
He is mocked mercilessly. But interestingly, no one ever says: “So my vote is with Hillary.”
It must be the first election ever where the ballot paper should say “or C, none of the above”.
Feather brained
AND this week, the Give Me Strength award goes to Cheshire East Council who, at great expense, installed recording equipment to determine whether a schoolgirl’s pet cockerel was too loud.
After exhaustive tests they sided with the neighbour who’d complained and now the bird, called Penguin, has been served with an eviction order.
Unless Ellen Mellor, who’s only 12, gets rid of it, she faces a £5,000 fine.
Well Ellen, let me give you a tip.
If you lose this battle and Penguin has to live elsewhere, take up the drums. And show your bossy neighbour what real noise is.
PLANE STUPID
FOR years, the Government has been trying to work out whether Gatwick or Heathrow should be enlarged to cope with the demand for air travel.
In the time it’s taken them to dither, China has put up about 60 new airports. And we are being made to look stupid.
Now Mrs May, says there will be another delay in the announcement so all the arguments can be considered.
I swear we will all be dead by the time they make up their bloody minds.