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I FELT USELESS

I trained with Prince William but a decade later I nearly killed myself – please buy a poppy to help ex-soldiers like me

SOLDIER Loz Moore is one of the 30,000 veterans helped each year by the Poppy Appeal.

His bayonet glinting in the winter sun, the young officer had proudly paraded beside Prince William in front of the Queen at their passing-out ­ceremony at Sandhurst.

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Loz Moore is one of the 30,000 veterans helped each year by the Poppy AppealCredit: Supplied
War hero Loz, pictured right, graduated with Prince WilliamCredit: Soldier Magazine/ Crown Copyrigh

But a decade later, Loz had become so tormented by the horrors of war that he planned to use that same bayonet to kill himself.

Suffering from PTSD after action in Ulster, Iraq and Afghanistan, he had lost his Army job and faced ­losing his home.

In desperation the father-of-five contacted the Royal British Legion for help.

With money raised from the annual poppy appeal, the charity turned Loz’s life around by sending him on a “life-saving” activity course at its Battle Back Centre in Lilleshall, Shropshire.

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Loz, 41, says: “I was in a really dark place. I couldn’t get a job, I was about to lose my house because I couldn’t pay the mortgage, I was crushed in every way and I had some really dark thoughts.

“I felt useless, a hindrance to everyone and I thought people would be better off without me.

“It was the most complete despair. I was on my knees.

“I’d drink, pass out, wake up, feel like I couldn’t cope, I’d drink again and pass out.

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“After one session I remember having my ceremonial bayonet pressed against my chest. I might have done the unthinkable but thankfully I fell unconscious.

“I knew I’d do it again if I didn’t sort myself out.”

Five years after asking the RBL for help, Loz’s life has improved so much he is about to recreate a daring World War II mission to raise money for the charity.

In December 1942, ten Royal Marine commandos canoed more than 80 miles in flimsy collapsible kayaks — known as cockles — to destroy six Nazi ships in enemy-occupied France.

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Only two of the men survived but Winston Churchill hail­ed the raid, Operation Frankton, for short­ening the war by six months.

Two of the commandos died of hypothermia, while six were captured by the Germans and executed in cold blood after refusing to reveal details of the raid.

Gran Vera Parnaby, 83, has raised more than £1million in her 76 years collecting for the RBL. Vera, of Consett, Co Durham, is nicknamed Mrs Poppy'

James Bond producer Cubby Broccoli turned the incredible story into a film, The Cockleshell Heroes.

During a training session for his expedition, Loz tells how he found himself in the same platoon as Prince William at Sandhurst.

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After their passing-out ceremony — known as the Sovereign’s Parade — in December 2006, William went into the Household Cavalry before training as a helicopter pilot with the RAF.

Loz joined the Cheshire Regiment and saw action in Iraq and on two tours of Afghanistan.

Loz says: “On my first tour in Afghanistan I was on twice-daily patrols, either on foot or in vehicles.

“Every time we went out in the six-month deployment we’d take enemy fire.

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Five thousand poppies at St Peter’s Church in Dowland, Devon, hail villagers Arthur Piper, 21, his brother William, 28, and George Westcott, 21, killed in World War One.

“On three of the patrols I went on, our vehicle was blown up.

"I sustained some injuries, but you don’t think about your mental health at the time, only your physical health.

“There was no single moment for me that triggered PTSD. I came back from my second tour in 2013 and around 18 months later I started to struggle.

“I went on a course to join the Intelligence Corps in August 2015 and by the end of it I knew something was wrong.

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“I’d have unmanageable rage, it felt like my mind was failing me. I had a constant urge to escape and suicidal thoughts.

"I was put on sick leave but discharged as being ‘unfit to serve’ in September 2016.”

British Legion volunteers made 59,560 calls this year to 17,990 veterans who needed support.

After his discharge, Loz was walking in his home town of Stockport, Cheshire, when he noticed a statue of a local hero.

James Conway had quit his job as a milkman and joined the Royal Marines during World War II.

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In December 1942 he was one of the Cockleshell Heroes who paddled up the River Gironde.

The plan was to sink German ships docked near Bordeaux by attaching limpet mines to them then flee on foot to Spain.

Loz says: “I’d no idea the mem­orial of a local lad would spark an idea to recreate the mission.”

Beginning on December 7, Loz’s team of 12 veterans and serving soldiers will paddle for 83 miles up the Gironde estuary at night, resting during the day just like the real Cockleshell Heroes.

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Poppy Fields of Remembrance open in Belfast today in Donegall Square and at Cardiff Castle on Thursday.

At Bordeaux they will hike 100 miles following the escape route used by Major “Blondie” Hasler and Marine Bill Sparks, the only survivors of the real raid.

Loz says: “The Royal British Legion have supported me so much it’s an honour to be able to fund­raise for them.

“I know times are hard but if Sun readers can spare some money to buy a poppy, veterans across the country will all be thankful”.

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