It won’t be easy being first Social Media Monarch but Charles should give us full fat coronation, says Petronella Wyatt
WHEN historians of the monarchy look back on 2022, they will probably conclude it was not quite an annus horribilis (the late Queen’s description of the year Windsor Castle burned down and most of her children’s marriages sank like the Titanic).
But it was not an annus mirabilis either. Nothing got torched, but the Royal Family has endured 12 months of travails, as well as a cataclysm, as night fell on a woman who was not only the lodestar of the crown but of the nation.
Sceptics have suggested that the Windsor brand has decreased in value, while its direction — as well as the future of some of its members — is uncertain.
I refuse to take such a dismal view, however and should like to posit, humbly, some suggestions for the year.
2022 began with a series of devastating events involving Prince Andrew.
Once, twice, three times a reject, the Duke of York had his military and charitable patronages removed and was forced to settle out of court with Virginia Giuffre to spare everyone else’s blushes.
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He remains unemployed, and if we’re lucky we will hear very little from the disgraced Duke henceforth.
Meanwhile we are set to hear a hell of a lot more from Montecito, California — and Harry’s ghostwritten memoir, Spare, won’t be pretty.
It is difficult to think of what else he could accuse his brother and father of, after claiming one was a bully and the other a liar, but doubtless he has thought of something.
The House of Windsor must brace itself once again.
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The nation lost its shining light
But all this is trivial when one considers the defining moment of the year, the death of Her Majesty The Queen.
We knew she was old, we knew she would leave us at some point, but when she did, suddenly and without warning, the nation lost its mother, grandmother and shining light.
This has been a difficult time to be British, but we could look our detractors squarely in the eye because of her.
It mattered less that our politicians were dragging themselves through ordure because our Head of State remained spotless, the crystalline waters of her reputation never sewered. The country could look to one, small figure and fool itself that, to paraphrase the Gershwin song, “The Rockies may crumble. Gibraltar may tumble. They’re only made of clay. But . . . our Queen is here to stay.”
She wasn’t, and we came together to mourn in a manner that transfixed the world.
But what now?
The ship has lost its captain, and her unique way of remaining relevant while compromising nothing of her clean tradition.
King Charles has served a long apprenticeship at the feet of a master, but it won’t be easy being the first social media monarch.
It is fortunate that Camilla is by his side. Once a man with myriad weaknesses, including introspective gloom, he has become a different person, shored and smoothed by a wife who is happy to play a supporting role and whose grit, humour and good sense will be as invaluable as that of Prince Philip to the late Queen, making Camilla Charles’s own “strength and stay.”0
We don’t yet know what sort of a king he will be, but he has the advantage of being in tune with the concerns of the 21st Century and, through the Prince’s Trust, is uniquely equipped to speak to youth.
I implore him, however, when it comes to his Coronation in May, not to mistake dullness for frugality.
Not many of us have seen a British monarch crowned and we want the Full English, which, as Rishi Sunak has pointed out, will regild and fresco us in the eyes of the world.
Please, Charles, give us some bling for our buck, or rather that magical mystique without which monarchy, being an irrational institution like the Church, is pointless.
Bring on the peers in their ermines, the golden coaches, the anointing with holy water.
Give us back our sense of national pride. I’m sorry, but a bunch of elderly men dressed in lounge suits won’t hit the sweet spot.
Which brings me to one nagging worry. The high priests of woke have never been more powerful, and they demand that even the monarchy bow down before them.
Charles should take note that his mother, with eminent good sense, refused to enter the treacherous waters of politics during the whole of her 70-year reign.
As he faces down the Twitter mob, he must remember that it is as inadvisable for a non-partisan institution to give in to every intemperate whim, fad or prejudice of the moment as it is for it to turn its face to the wall and do nothing.
Now we come to the crux, King Charles is a “moderniser.” A brand refresh is a laudable aim, but it should not be jarring or too sudden.
The Queen modernised the monarchy with quiet, unobtrusive prudence, and did it so well we hardly noticed the peddling below the water.
For years now, Charles has stated his desire to “slim down” the monarchy. He believes this will deprive the republicans of their perennial gripes about taxpayers’ money being used to fund peripheral royals.
In actual fact, however, the monarchy has already slimmed down.
The Sussexes took themselves off to Montecito in high dudgeon, Andrew has been confined to quarters and the doddery Dukes and Princes of Kent and Gloucester look like they are about to hit the royal bucket.
It would be a shame if slimming down led to positive starvation and popular, hardworking stalwarts like Sophie Wessex and Princess Anne were dieted out of existence, on some variation of intermittent royal fasting.
Don’t stint on the Coronation
Swan of swans as Kate is, and dutiful and charming as William has become, it would be unfair and unwise to let them shoulder the burden.
Kate is still a mother to young children and there is no good reason why other royals like Anne and Sophie should not fill in.
I don’t pretend to understand republicanism. The only honest impulse behind it is envy and the hatred of a person who may be having a better time.
Pump envy out of it, and you pump it of its life’s blood.
But it would be hard to argue that the mud slinging and media brawls of the past year have been met with hosannas.
The Crown is more than the sum of individuals who make it up at any given time, and this country has had to endure, throughout our long history, some real royal stinkers.
Yet, our monarchy is also the reason Britain never fell into the hands of a dictator.
It may not be rational, and — given the hereditary principle on which it is based — it will never be modern in the true sense of the word. But it works.
In King Charles, Queen Consort Camilla, William, Kate and their enchanting children, we have a new dawn that has the promise of fair weather.
The new Fab Four are dutiful public servants, who, unlike the misery-guts across the Pond, have no desire to dash the cup from their lips.
Just don’t stint on the Coronation, your majesty, or so reduce the Firm that charities are deprived of valuable patronage.
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I know you don’t wish to burden the taxpayer, but things could look very different next May, and let’s face it, you are in the great, good business of cheering us all up.
Let’s put on a proper show and polish up Britannia. The old girl has seldom needed it more.
