I’m a divorce lawyer… most couples split over the same problem and a specific week of the year is worse than others
A LEADING divorce lawyer has revealed the reason why most couples split up and said a specific week of the year is worse than others.
Ayesha Vardag, who has been called the ‘Diva of Divorce,’ says the time when couples are more likely to file for divorce is the first working Monday after the Christmas and New Year break.
As last Monday was a bank holiday, that means today could be the day that law firms see a spike in inquiries.
She added that having kids can accelerate the problem.
Ms Vardag has worked on a number of high-profile celebrity cases and famously won the landmark Supreme Court case of Radmacher v Granatino in 2010.
That case changed the law to make prenuptial agreements legally enforceable in England and Wales.
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She said that due to the rise in the cost of living and the stagnant housing market more couples than ever were trapped living with former partners after breaking up.
Some have been forced to move into their parents’ homes, house shares with strangers, sofa surfing, Airbnbs or even moving in with their grown-up children.
More and more people are also ruining their relationships by getting caught out by technology – from photos and messages popping up on the family cloud to partners creating fake profiles on dating apps to catch their cheating spouse.
However, she said the most common reason for divorce was that their relationship changes over time.
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Ms Vardag told the : "I have been saying for a long time that most divorces happen because the person you're with is no longer the person that you married.
"And that is, fundamentally, always the thing that breaks people up. This can happen regardless of how great the marriage once was.
"Often, I have seen, as a divorce lawyer, children accelerate this process. When the child comes along, one of the parents may well work longer hours, the other parent may start hanging out with new parents, and they slowly transition into different and separate worlds."
Over time, she added, they start to find that they have less and less in common and they end up losing the "essence" of what first attracted them to one another.
Being a divorcee herself, Ms Vardag said it was important to realise that relationships sometimes just run their course without it being anyone’s fault.
She has championed the No-Fault Divorce – legislation came into effect in April last year, replacing the ‘five grounds’ and allows couples to divorce more easily without having to blame someone.
She added it was hard to maintain a marriage in this day and age and with people living longer, it was a long time to keep "coinciding" with another person over the course of their lives.
Mrs Vardag added that while there may once have been a relationship between two good people, it can still come to and end and there was no need to lay the blame at one person in particular.
With No-Fault Divorces, two people could part equally and amicably.
While Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had been mocked for their 'conscious uncoupling' Ms Vardag said it was a reasonable way of "reframing the narrative" that sometimes relationships just come to an end and they are no longer compatible.
She added that while divorce might seem like the end, it doesn’t have to be and can be the start of a new beginning.
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Following a divorce, she argued, you can have a “beautiful life” where you can build a career, find time to develop yourself and create new relationships.
Ultimately, she said that both marriage and divorce can be "beautiful".
