I’ve been berated for being a 4×4 mum, yet Jude Law is legend for being 7×4 dad – it’s pure sexism, says Ulrika Jonsson

HOORAY and huge congrats to Jude Law on becoming a dad for the seventh time!

What a man. What a dude. What a stud. Seven kids with four women — but who’s counting, hey, Jude? No one. Unless, of course, Jude was a woman.

Elsewhere in the world, former Atomic Kitten star Natasha Hamilton has just announced she’s pregnant for the fifth time, by a fifth father.

Sadly, by comparison, Natasha’s situation and status are far more problematic.

We have no issue with men fathering children — willy-nilly — with as many women as they choose, because that’s what men do.

It’s our societal expectation that this is so. We accept it just like we accept that Mick Jagger is also an 8 x 5; Eddie Murphy a 10 x 5 and Rod Stewart an 8 x 5.

No judgment is cast on them. I, on the other hand, shocked the world when I gave birth to my fourth child by a fourth father in 2008.

I was dubbed the 4 x 4, insinuating somehow that I was a loose woman, or perhaps desperate and thoughtless.

These are the judgments we subconsciously reserve for women on sink estates who we deem to be careless with their fertility.

And yet, like with most women, all my children were planned and brought into warm, loving relationships.

Except, perhaps, the second child, whose father took it upon himself to desert me when I was eight months pregnant, leaving me panicked and bereft.

I have been and continue to be my childrens’ main carer. There are three excellent fathers who adore them, but it has fallen on me to do the vast majority of the caring and nurturing.

All of them have lived with me and I have always been the main financer.

I understood that is how it would be before I even conceived. I had to, after all, carry them for nine months, which had greater implications for my body, my mental health and my professional life than the fathers’.

The fact the relationships did not last is not a responsibility that can be entirely levelled at me.

But I knew and was prepared to bear the greatest burden, that accountability, dependability and stability would fundamentally lie with me.

Dads may be active, present and involved, but they can equally be absent, part-time, infrequent or intermittent.

But in the vast majority of separations, behind every great child stands a knackered, respon- sible, conscientious and reliable mother.

Yet we are horrified when a mother walks out on her children and leaves them in the care of their fathers.

It’s too un-maternal for our little brains to comprehend.

There is a huge, insurmountable disparity in the way we judge mothers and fathers.

No one can deny fathers get a much easier time.

More often than not we are impressed when men are good fathers.

We praise how great they are with the kids and count ourselves lucky, as mothers, if we have one willing to take them out, spend time with them and be part of their lives.

Natasha Hamilton will be judged far more harshly for having produced five children with five fathers.

There is an unspoken, overbearing air of immorality about it and society struggles to accept that.

Yet her children all live with, are cared for and have made their homes with her.

The fathers may be there mooching around in the background to a greater or a lesser extent.

And it’s this judgment, this portrayal of women and the inequity that needs to stop.

We need to have a smarter and more mature approach to ensure parenting responsibility is divided equally, because that’s the only way attitudes, society and even childcare will change.

It may be that Jude Law is a great, dedicated dad who is hugely involved with his children, some of whom are now adults.

But you can bet your bottom dollar he hasn’t been part of their nurturing and upbringing every single day.

Because that will automatically fall on the shoulders of the mother.

And we also need to stop the constant praising of dads for being so good with their children.

We need to stop feeling so lucky that they help us out or can do the occasional baby- sitting.

These fathers are NOT babysitting. They are looking after their own children. It’s their responsibility.

I’ll never forget, when the biological father of my second child walked out and I was left in a heap on the floor, how unfair and unjust I felt the situation was that it was just expected that I would stay with my baby and not leave, like he had.

What would have happened if, at the same time, I had also had a change of mind and had wanted to abandon her?

I would have been persecuted by society. The stigma might have obliterated me.

I would also have been judged to be cold-hearted and irresponsible.

Yet we never level that opinion and scrutiny on men. Our expectation of them is far lower.

The assumption is that they may or may not be around. They may or may not be good fathers.

It’s time to raise the bar of expectation for men and applaud the likes of Natasha Hamilton for being prepared to continue to not lose hope in her pursuit of a happy family, in whichever shape that comes.

Cheep shot at guilt

NOT many days go by without me wondering what on earth the world is coming to. This week was no exception.

We’ve become used to the gory warnings on cigarette packets with those hard-core, uncompromising pictures of anatomy to warn of the dangers of smoking.

Horrifying pictures of lung and mouth cancers, blindness, the risks of emphysema, strokes and gum and tooth disease.

Scientists are now proposing slapping stickers on packs of meat with similarly harsh warnings about the consequences of buying and eating it.

A small study at the University of Delft in the Netherlands found that putting labels with pictures of dead chickens and the words: “Animals suffer when you eat meat” on packets of poultry lessens the chances of it being bought.

As a meat eater, I’m acutely aware that animals do not only suffer but have to die for me to eat meat.

I don’t eat a whole lot but equally I can’t foresee a day when I will become vegetarian and I’m comfortable with my choice.

It doesn’t sit well with everyone, I understand and respect that, but I would still like to be allowed to make my life choices without constantly being reminded of consequences.

This is all about making consumers feel guilt. It’s meat-shaming of the most aggressive and antagonistic kind.

Much of what we do in life is not good for us. We know that.

But this constant hectoring, belittling and scolding might actually have the opposite effect, purely because none of us like to be told what to do.

We have the ability to make informed choices without being made to feel we are sinning at every turn.

Meddler's comments are below the belt

CHLOE MADELEY’S husband James Haskell has been pictured holding their baby in the back seat of a taxi, seat belt on, and inevitably someone has criticised the mum for her disregard of her daughter’s safety.

And yet, the law states that if there isn’t an appropriate child seat in a taxi, that’s how the baby should be transported.

Why are people so obsessed with sticking their giant hooters in and making judgments where it’s neither wanted nor needed?

I used to find myself reviewing, inspecting and dissecting personal pics before I posted them on social media just in case there might be a glass in the background balancing precariously on the edge of a surface ready to fall, or a kitchen knife within spitting distance of a small child, or a dog dangerously close to a raw onion which might just give the keyboard warriors itchy fingers and bring them out in a rash.

Nowadays I just crack on with it and let the haters hate and the health and safety sticklers fill their boots.

I would never intentionally jeopardise another person or animal, but it grinds my gears that people seem to have enough time on their hands to promote themselves to armchair inspectors of others people’s lives.

So stop interfering and get yourself a life, you intrusive, snooping, meddlesome Minnie.

Leave Roald Dahl alone

DANNY The Champion Of The World by Roald Dahl was my favourite childhood book.

It may have had something to do with me worshipping my dad and the close bond Danny has with his father in the novel struck a real chord with me.

Roald Dahl has always been a firm favourite with me. To hear now that he is being censored by his publishers, who feel some of his language is inappropriate, not woke enough or potentially too scary and aggressive horrifies me.

Words including “fat”, “diet”, “flabby”, “idiots”, “black”, “ugly” and “queer” have been eradicated in his works and it’s infuriating and deeply worrying.

We can’t, shouldn’t, nor do we have the right, to remove these words from children’s vocabulary and learning in some pathetic attempt at “protecting” them from the supposed “harshness” of Dahl’s writing.

The point is that it is creative, it’s gory, it’s cruel and it makes for uncomfortable reading at times.

That’s the world though, isn’t it? The world isn’t a nice place and we can’t for ever protect our children from its cruelty.

How else can children be expected to judge good if they are never exposed to bad?

My children were brought up on Roald Dahl’s magic and I’m hugely proud and relieved they haven’t been forced to endure this new, modern censorship.

And I’m wondering what the publishers are going to do about all the second-hand Dahl copies in book and charity shops which will for ever contain these dangerous and harmful words in them.

Are they going to hunt them all down and burn the copies?

They won’t be coming near my collection, that’s for sure.

I shall be saving them for the grandchildren.