I hid my £30k gambling debt from my family – five poignant words from my eight-year-old son changed my life forever
A DAD who hid his £30,000 gambling debt from his family has told how five words from his eight-year-old son changed his life forever.
David, 48, was gripped by online casino games and regularly stayed up until 5am to satisfy his spiralling addiction.
He noticed himself slipping away from his relatives and friends and giving up on work but couldn't find the strength to quit.
That was until one night when his little boy found him sitting on the sofa mindlessly spinning a roulette wheel on his phone.
"I feel like he knew something wasn’t right with me," David, from Stockport, Greater Manchester, said.
"He walked in, tried to grab my phone, looked me in my eyes and said, ‘I want you to stop’.
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"It was a completely eye-opening experience."
The dad spent days playing his son's poignant plea over in his head and two weeks later decided to come clean.
He told his partner and friend about his struggles and is now sharing his experience to help others who may be finding it difficult to stop.
David, who works as a customer experience leader at Sky, said he wasn't exposed to gambling until his late 20s.
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He started visiting betting shops with his friends at the weekend but only ever spent "the odd quid here and there".
"It was mostly on football accumulators and I just saw it as a bit of fun", he said.
"Whenever a bet came in it was great – but at that point I felt I could take it or leave it.
"I’d occasionally bet on horses and won a few times there too - I even bought myself a plane ticket to Ibiza once."
But by the early 2010s, David was the proud new owner of a smartphone and his gambling started to take a turn.
He soon ditched the physical shops altogether and relied solely on digital wagers, often being enticed by deals for new members.
"I joined six or seven sites where I’d been offered free bets," he said.
"I noticed I was starting to get more involved with live betting which you could do through your phone as the games were going on – the next corner, the next goal, the next card.
"That’s when the lines began to blur."
It was taking over my life. I felt like I was in a bubble.
David
The dad clocked he was spending more and more time engrossed in the world of gambling, but it wasn't until he tried an online casino that he noticed a marked shift in his behaviour.
"It stopped being fun and it started to consume me," he said.
"It was taking over my life. I felt like I was in a bubble - people would see me but I wasn’t really there.
"I was quickly becoming tormented inside. My mind was just on gambling."
He became distracted at work, stopped spending time with his children and began parting with larger amounts of cash.
It wasn't unusual for him to place single casino bets of up to £400 as he no longer wanted to wait for football games at the weekend.
"I was so desperate to win money back when I had lost it and it felt so easy to do," he said.
"It all happens so quickly that you don’t even realise the potential damage that you’re doing.
"It was beginning to get reckless. I was gambling on teams I had never heard of and I was regularly staying up until 5am to gamble.
"I had opened up an extended overdraft and found myself drinking more and more to keep my anxiety levels down.
"I felt like drinking at the time kept me calmer but I knew I was going down a wrong path."
'I WAS IN A REAL MESS'
By the time his son asked him to quit, he had amassed debts of £30,000 - but no one knew.
David came clean to his wife then went out drinking all day before calling his friends to tell them everything.
They immediately came out to see him, and he broke down in tears when describing what he was going through.
"I was in a real mess, but they were all really supportive and said they would help."
David called the National Gambling Helpline and was referred for formal one-on-one support sessions.
He spent the first few meetings in tears but slowly, as his confidence grew, he committed to never going back to gambling and sought assistance from debt charity Stepchange to improve his financial situation.
Now, he advocates for more people to come forward about gambling harm to help reduce the stigma, which he described as a "huge barrier".
"People are worried about their jobs, their families, their friends and how they may view them," he said.
Hopefully I’m an example of how you can get through this.
David
"I was a rare example in that no-one found out about my gambling up until the point I stopped, but I certainly felt the stigma stopped me coming forward earlier.
"Hopefully I’m an example of how you can get through this.
"If I didn’t make a change when I did I could have lost everything important to me."
Describing life after gambling, David said the biggest benefit has been being able to enjoy going to Manchester United games with his son, who knows about his father's history.
He welcomed the government's crackdown - banning under-25s from betting more than £2 per spin online - but wants more to be done.
"The current climate is really worrying for people turning to gambling," David said.
"People may look at it as an opportunity to help ease their bills or potentially get a present for someone, but end up in dire straits as a result.
"Free bets are particularly worrying at this time as people are incentivised to start gambling for free but could easily lead to them going on a path they can’t afford to go down – both financially and emotionally."
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Matt Zarb-Cousin, the co-founder of - a software that blocks people from accessing gambling websites across all their devices, said: "This sector makes the vast majority of its profit from people addicted or at-risk, it cannot be trusted to self regulate.
"Stronger affordability rules and sanctions are needed in the forthcoming gambling White Paper to prevent these harms occurring."
HOW TO GET HELP
Gambling addiction can be extremely serious.
If you or someone close to you is affected by gambling addiction, there are a number of places you can seek help:
- NHS specialist clinic for problem gamblers (in England & Wales only, for those aged 16+).
- The UK's main support and counselling organisation, who also run the National Gambling Helpline (0808 8020 133).
- A charity which uses the same 12-step approach as Alcoholics Anonymous.
- A support group for family and friends, run by the people behind Gamblers Anonymous.
- A 24-hour service for those feeling suicidal (116 123).
- A free helpline for those up to the age of 18 (0800 1111).
There are several different treatments available for gambling:
- Inpatient programmes: Round-the-clock for those with a particularly serious gambling addiction.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: A type of talking therapy, with between six and 15 sessions, which can be prescribed on the NHS.
- Hypnotherapy: Through the power of suggestion, therapists hope to change problematic patterns in their client's mind.
There are also a number of ways you can treat gambling at home:
- Block your access to gambling: Block gambling websites and stay away from casinos, betting shops and even pubs with slot machines.
- Give someone else control of your money: This removes the temptation to loss chase, or try to gamble your way out of debt.
- Stay busy: As with any addiction, you will experience a withdrawal period. Keep yourself busier than usual for the first week or so.
- Talk: Speak to a therapist/medical professional, and open up to at least one trusted friend/family member.
