Self-confessed ‘virtuous paedophile’ Todd Nickerson claims friends and family are HAPPY for him to be around their kids as he doesn’t USUALLY think about sex while playing with them
Todd Nickerson, who realised he was attracted to small children when he was 13, insists he is a virgin who has never acted upon his urges
A SELF-confessed paedophile has revealed his friends and family are happy for him to hang out with their kids.
One-armed Todd Nickerson, 43, who previously admitted being attracted to children as young as three, told Sun Online his family are accepting of his sexuality as they know he poses no danger to their children.
Todd, who helps run an online forum for ‘virtuous paedophiles’ who don’t act on their desires, said: “Family and friends are happy for me to be around their kids.
“I don’t have that many with young kids any more - but the ones I do, they know me and know I won’t harm their kids.”
The freelance graphic designer, who says he has never abused a child, says he enjoys hanging out and playing games with children - and often develops ‘emotional attachments’ to them.
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He even believes that being around kids makes him less likely to offend.
“I like hanging out with kids and I don’t think about sex all the time,” he said.
“People have this misconception that if you’re attracted to kids that’s all you think about and that we can’t relate to kids in any other sense - that’s ridiculous.
“I can be perfectly happy hanging out with kids, playing games with them or whatever - I get fulfilment from that.
“Sex may not even enter my mind - usually it doesn’t.
“In fact when I’m around kids for an extended period of time that’s actually when my sexuality takes a back seat.
“It’s a lot harder to romanticise children when you're around them a lot because they can be difficult and demanding.”
Todd, who is one of the few openly ‘out’ paedophiles in America, said the closest he came to abusing a child was when he was 18 and babysitting a five-year-old girl.
But he managed to resist temptation and left town for a couple of months “to clear his head”.
And now Todd, from from Tennessee, says he can have perfectly healthy relationships with children - as he relates to kids better than adults.
“We form emotional connections with kids,” he explained. “Oh yeah, for sure, it happens a lot and we have to be careful because a lot of the time those emotional connections can go from parental to more romantic.
“The girl who I almost abused when I was 18 - I fell in love with her I really did. I fell hard for her.
“It does happen and that’s why I had to leave town and have a couple of months to clear my head.
“We have to be careful and not delude ourselves about what the relationship is - but I don’t know why people think our sexuality is purely sexual.
“It’s like any sexuality, we form emotional bonds with the people we are attracted to. This is what happens.
“But now I can channel those feelings into more constructive ways so it’s more parental. As long as you have an awareness you can put those feelings into constructive uses.”
Todd said his attraction to children has almost driven him to suicide in the past and he has struggled with depression and self-loathing.
His family were shocked when he revealed his paedophilia to them - and his sister even cut him off for two years.
But after finally gaining acceptance from his family - and becoming involved in the website Virtuous Paedophile, Todd says he has come to accept who he is.
“All my family and friends know about my sexuality - I’ve been out for 10 years,” he said.
“It took a while for my family to come around and understand the issue but at heart they always knew me and knew I was no danger to kids.
“I first told them about it in a round about way. I was extremely depressed and the plan was to kill myself.
“I really didn’t see having much of a future. I wanted to let the world know who I was and why I would kill myself.
“I created a little biography for myself online and I sent all my family a link. That’s how they learnt about me.
“Initially my parents were in shock they didn’t really discuss it all. I still haven’t talked to my dad about it as he isn’t one of those kind of people you can sit and talk about things with.
“My mom tried to convince me that I was wrong, she said, ‘You’re just confused’ she didn't want to accept it - she thought it was a phase.
“My sister has the hardest time - she cut me out of her life for a while.
“She is very religious and she believes that even being gay is a choice so she didn't really understand it but she eventually came around.
“They all did and finally understood it and accepted it - they know I’m not gonna hurt anybody and I think that made it easier.”
Todd first realised he was attracted to younger children when he was 13 and believes that being abused at age seven may have contributed to his paedophilia.
He admits being attracted to kids as young as three - but more often his interest is in girls aged nine or 10.
Todd says he has never offended, never watches child pornography and is not afraid he might one day abuse as he has ‘good self control’.
He does admit to having fantasies about children - but believes that is an outlet that helps stop him from offending.
“I have sexual fantasies I don’t deny myself that - for some people feeding into those fantasies might push them into offending but for me its the total opposite,” he said.
“I've never really considered abusing a kid but the times it has crept into my mind has been the times I’ve tried to distance myself from it. In a way its healthier for me to accept it for what it is.”
Yet despite his shocking admissions - Todd says he has had a surprisingly calm response to recent interviews he has done outing himself as a paedophile.
“There hasn’t really been a lot of fall out since I did the first interviews - in my actual life,” he said.
"Obviously there's been comments online but I don't read them all.
“I live in a very small town and I’m sure that the majority of the people in this town know but I’ve never had anybody confront me or treat me in any way that I would say is bad or disrespectful.
“Nobody drags their kids away from me or anything - they seem to ignore it.
“I’ve been here a long time and I think people know I’m not a danger. I never had any body scream at me or say anything about it. I’m prepared for it if it does. My neighbours are very good about it.”
Some friends and family members even joke about his sexual preferences.
On one Facebook post Todd shared about International Day of the Girl, a friend wrote: “Got to git [sic] in where you fit in lol.”
“Some of my family - my cousins in particular, deal with my sexuality using humour and I have no problem with that,” Todd reveals.
“I mean I laugh at myself sometimes - I either have to laugh or cry I guess.
Humour can help people deal with stuff. The picture about the International Day of the Girl wasn’t a joke.
“I care deeply about women’s rights and kids’ rights - they are important to me.”
Now he says he has come to accept who he is - and dedicates his life to helping others who struggle with similar issues through the website Virtuous Paedophiles.
The website is a support forum for so-called “virtuous” or “ethical” paedophiles - those who have a sexual interest in children but never act upon it or break the law.
They do not believe that the age of consent should be lowered but campaign for better understanding of their issues.
The life-long bachelor, who is still a virgin after being unable to consummate his only relationship, says he wants to educate people and stop the demonization of pedophiles.
And he believes by ignoring the issue, society is contributing to kids being abused.
“We want people to recognize the difference between having a sexuality and acting on that sexuality,” he said.
“Most people who abuse kids aren’t even pedophiles - there’s been several studies on it.
“Around 60 to 80 percent of people who abuse don’t have a primary attraction to kids - they abuse for other reasons such as power issues, knowing they can get away with it or being turned on by violating a taboo.
“The paedophiles who do abuse usually have low intelligence or social issues. If society really wants to protect kids from abuse they need to understand these issues better.
“Lots of people don’t want to understand it - it’s willful ignorance - and people need to know that that attitude contributes to kids being abused because they alienate people who are dealing with this attraction and pushes them underground where they are more likely to act out.”
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