I was a gangster from the toughest estate in Britain – I slept with a machete under my bed… now the violence haunts me

A FORMER gang member who grew up on a notorious housing estate is now haunted by the violence of his youth.

Stu Otten, 46, was raised on on the Netherton Park estate in Merseyside, which was nicknamed ‘Dodge’ by locals in the 1980s and 90s.

The estate was one of many blighted by crime when heroin and then cocaine swept across Merseyside during an era of high unemployment and recession.

Stu said he saw his first heroin needle aged just five and grew up surrounded by drug addicts known as “zombies.”

In the 90s the estate became associated with a notorious drug gang.

After years of bullying and emotional issues, Stu joined a local mixed martial arts club to boost his self-confidence. But tragically this ushered the teenager into world of criminality.

Stu claimed at one point he slept with a machete under his bed to protect himself from rival gangs.

He said: “When I’d beat people up, I just saw it as work.

“I’d say to myself, “I’ll finish this meeting then it’s onto the next meeting.” It’s just what my life was like.

“You hear a lot about County Lines now, it isn’t new. I was involved in County Lines 25 years ago before it had a name.

“I was recruited to the gang when I was 18 and had no idea what I was doing. I took drugs to people and the violence followed.”

Stu worked as a doorman in Liverpool’s clubland during an era when nightclubs were linked to drugs and crime.

He then started selling drugs in the city centre and said he did “horrendous things to people” when they ended up owing money.

After years of violence and crime Stu decided to turn his life around, and signed up for a course at Liverpool John Moores University.

He then moved to Sheffield to start a new life for himself and get away from Liverpool’s gang scene.

He said: “I deeply regret the harm I’ve caused. During counselling I’ve had to come face to face with my demons again to acknowledge what I did.

“The stuff we did was horrendous and – for a long time – it would keep me up at night. I’d wake up drenched in sweat thinking of the violence. The worst memories were about the families affected by what I did.”

Stu now works at the anti-slavery charity Causeway where he tried to dissuade young people from becoming involved in crime and gangs.

In a new film for the charity he said the trauma he experienced as a child led him toward crime gangs.

Stu said: “People underestimate the link between trauma and criminality. I deeply regret what I’ve done in the past, however I use that every single day to drive forward the work I do now.

“We all want a world without crime, but we can’t bury our heads in the sand. We need to understand and work closely with those who commit crime to break those cycles, and build a better world for everyone. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I wasn’t once given that chance for change.”

Amy Bond, Causeway’s Chief Operating Officer, said: “Stu’s own story inspires everything he does today. His deep passion to support thousands of survivors of trauma, and help them avoid or step away from crime, is something to be admired.

“It was this passion and his own lived experience which led to Stu launching Causeway’s four crime reduction services, and over the last five years he and his team have changed the lives of so many.”