As war tears the world apart, we should count our blessings to live in Britain this Christmas
There has seemed no end to these modern conflicts
THIS year has been one when we have seen history unfold before our eyes.
The crowning of King Charles III — the first coronation for 70 years, the first that almost all of our people had seen — was sacred ritual, regal showbiz and living, breathing history.
In this national moment that will be recalled long after we are all gone, Charles became, at 74, this country’s oldest ever monarch.
He replaced the longest-serving, most beloved monarch in our history.
The widely held belief was that this elderly king was merely keeping the throne warm for the next generation — and his eldest son, the future King William V.
But King Charles has exceeded all expectations — in his genius for diplomacy on foreign tours in Europe and Africa, and in the way he has handled embarrassing royal relatives like Harry, Meghan and the Prince formerly known as Randy Andy.
Nuclear-armed Russia
And many die-hard monarchists have ended the year hoping King William V will one day be as good a king as his dad.
The Coronation did more than crown our new King. It connected us to 1,000 years of our history.
This was a day of national celebration, a moment for joy, pride and patriotism. But all that gilded pomp came in a year that was desperately hard for many of the new King’s subjects.
The UK has not been a happy land in 2023. Energy bills have struck terror in the heart.
There has been soaring inflation not known for half a lifetime. The cost-of-living crisis has been the most important thing in most British lives.
Taxes have been at an historic high and public services at an all-time low.
The NHS waiting list approached eight million. More than 5.2million people are on benefits.
Strikes have been everywhere, from train drivers to doctors, and dragged on and on. But the global theme of 2023 has been war.
The biggest ground war in Europe since 1945 has dragged on as Ukraine and Russia have fought each other to a bitter stalemate — a bloody war of attrition which has recalled the slaughter in the trenches of Belgium and France during the First World War.
Hamas terrorists attacked Israel on October 7 in an orgy of rape, torture and murder as 1,200 Israelis died, most of them civilians.
Israel’s ferocious response reduced much of Gaza to rubble, killing more than 20,000 Palestinians — most civilians, many of them children — and displaced 85 per cent of the population, a statistic that some historians said was unprecedented in the history of human warfare.
The wars in Europe and the Middle East have had echoes here — 174,000 Ukrainians moved to the UK under the Ukraine Family Scheme and Ukraine Sponsorship Scheme as of May 2023, almost all of them women and children, and there have been huge pro-Palestinian rallies all over the UK.
Heartbreaking posters of kidnapped Israeli men, women and children have appeared on walls in North West London — and been torn down, defaced and defiled.
This year felt like one when you had to choose sides, although to some of us the innocent Palestinian dead looked exactly the same as the innocent Israeli dead.
And in 2023, as China held military exercises around Taiwan, you saw that it could all get worse, and Asia could see its own war soon.
There has seemed no end to these modern conflicts. This is not like the world wars of the 20th Century, when the Allies hammered the enemy into unconditional surrender.
Russia will never beat Ukraine into submission. And Ukraine will never conquer nuclear-armed Russia.
So what does peace look like there? And what does the final act look like for Israel and Palestine?
Nobody knows. Some negotiated peace has seemed the only alter-native to more slaughter. And yet peace between Ukraine and Russia, and Israel and Palestine, has looked years away in 2023.
This year we have watched the world tear itself apart.
And if we were wise, we counted our blessings. For despite all our troubles, we are blessed in this country.
IF you have ever watched a loved one dying, then you know that Esther Rantzen is right – we should all have the right to decide when we have had enough of life.
When the end is heart- breakingly near, we do not let our dogs suffer without reason. And yet we must watch our loved ones in unnecessary agony.
Assisted dying would be a legal minefield.
But as we all live longer, it is one that we – and future generations – will be obliged to navigate.
BRAD PITT turned 60 on Monday, and still looks as adorable as he did as a wicked young cowboy in Thelma & Louise. How does he do it?
Journalists who have met Brad suggest that it is because “he feels comfortable in his skin”.
I am not sure that quite explains the mystery of Pitt’s eternal loveliness.
Anyone with skin like Brad would feel comfortable in it too.
Eve is crème of the crop
EVE GILLES has been crowned Miss France. Eve, 20, has now sparked a heated debate because she allegedly looks “androgynous” and is “a victory for diversity”.
Really? Those gamine locks mirror Breakfast At Tiffany’s star Audrey Hepburn’s chopped haircut.
Maybe I need to go to Specsavers. Because Eve Gilles looks like a beautiful young woman to me.
THE British Medical Journal says that if Barbie were REALLY a doctor, she would get struck off.
Katherine Klamer, from Indiana University, studied 53 Barbie doctor dolls, ten Barbie scientists and one Barbie paramedic.
They were all found wanting because of the loose blonde hair, high heels and lavish make-up.
If they REALLY wanted to make Barbie a realistic doctor, they should just make it impossible to ever get an appointment with her.
Hugh’s such a Wonka
“I COULDN’T have hated the whole thing more,” says Hugh Grant of his role as an Oompa Loompa in the Wonka movie.
Hugh complains about the special suit he had to wear, the hardship of making films – “I have lots of children and need the money” – and how he “never really felt comfortable” with the romantic comedies that made his name.
But it is not impossible for a rom-com leading man to reboot his career with meatier roles.
Matthew McConaughey did it. He became a different kind of star when he lost 50lb to play a cowboy with Aids in the film Dallas Buyers Club, and a traumatised recovering drug addict in True Detective.
But McConaughey was in his early forties when he took those career-changing roles.
Grant is already 63. A bit long in the tooth to start again. Best not lose the Oompa Loompa suit, Hugh.
Clean slate Slade
MOST bands end up hating each other. So the current spats within Slade are pretty standard.
Noddy Holder has left but guitarist Dave Hill is still touring with the group.
Dave sacked drummer Don Powell, 77, and the old mates are no longer on speaking terms.
Jim Lea, bass player and songwriter, bailed out years ago and is now a psychologist.
Slade were the first lad rockers. Although they flew under the glam rock flag of convenience, they had more in common with the bad boys of punk rock or the Oasis brothers than they ever did with the likes of David Bowie and Roxy Music.
Slade were semi-literate decades before Prince, boasting a string of misspelt hits.
They were defiantly anti-intellectual – there is a Slade live version of John Sebastian’s beautiful love song, Darling Be Home Soon, where Noddy Holder belches loudly in the middle of it. That was too much even for a Slade fan like me.
Slade might make up. If they live long enough, bands tend to reconcile.
In Wilko Johnson’s autobiography, he recalls playing for the first time in decades with the surviving members of Dr Feelgood at singer Lee Brilleaux’s funeral.
And not one of them can remember why their band ever broke up.
Puppy love
CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN is quitting her BBC Radio 2 show to spend more time with her children – Jake, 20, Matilda, 17 and Arthur, 12.
“The truth is, my children are growing up inordinately so I have decided to follow them around at home before they leave for good,” said Claudia.
She has also revealed the other big change in her life – a black and tan Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy.
As the owner of a King Charles, I can assure Claudia she now has the most fanatically devoted of dogs in her home.
Who will be following her everywhere, long after her children have all flown the nest.
ASTON VILLA’S madcap goalie Emiliano Martinez already has a World Cup winner’s medal.
It is not impossible that Villa could do a Leicester City this year and unexpectedly win the Premier League.
But there is one glittering prize that will for ever stay out of reach for Emi.
Last weekend he got a mild knock from a Brentford player and acted like he had been shot. Emi, mate, you’re never going to win an Oscar.
SEE you here next Sunday for my look at 2024. In the meantime, thanks for reading and Merry Christmas to you and yours, from me and mine.