AS a soothsayer I saw all this coming, obviously.
Indeed, I sounded the alarm on the eve of the July 4 general election.
“Wake up Britain!” I yelled. “We are sleepwalking into a new dark age.”
Nobody took a blind bit of notice and we ended up with Sir Keir Starmer and the most deceitful government in UK history.
But even my crystal ball did not foresee such a Cabinet of tin-eared cheats and freeloaders, plus a convicted fraudster — and a minister for corruption under scrutiny for alleged corruption.
Yes, we have Cameron, May, Boris and Rishi to thank for 14 years of mind-boggling failure.
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But Keir Starmer has taken just six months to blow his credibility and throttle the first flutter of economic recovery.
Shell-shocked
Labour’s so-called “grown-ups” stand exposed as clueless amateurs, headed by a prime minister uniquely devoid of the skills, imagination or integrity required by a national leader.
It takes a special kind of genius to win a landslide with such a team of Cabinet and Downing Street duds.
Those hoping Chancellor Rachel Reeves might succeed as the voice of sanity were shell-shocked by her job- destroying, tax-hiking, pensioner-bashing budget.
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Wes Streeting has done net zero about reforming the stricken NHS.
So who will replace clod-hopping Keir Starmer when he is dumped, as I predict, after the local elections May Day Massacre?
The crystal ball shows working-class trade union darling Angela Rayner slipping through the chaos as Labour’s first female PM.
Gawd help us!
I also foresee a surge by Muslim activists who already hold five Westminster seats and with dozens more likely at the next election. Diversity is wonderful, we are told.
This is a dream scenario for a disciplined and united rightwing Opposition.
Unfortunately we don’t have one.
New Tory leader Kemi Badenoch is struggling to win back angry voters, especially Brexit supporters who feel betrayed by Boris and Rishi.
Far from “securing our borders” as promised, they flung open the doors to a record 1.1million newcomers last year.
Flex his muscles
Former diehard Tories have deserted to Reform.
Charismatic Nigel Farage is their hero.
Fans are betting hard cash on “The Nige” as PM after the next election.
The image of Nigel Farage crops up a lot on my Tarot cards, alongside a big question mark. But no Number Ten.
Reform by itself cannot win an outright majority — even with a multi-million dollar war chest donated by Tesla colossus Elon Musk.
Tories will not recover enough support to win alone either.
Together they would undoubtedly sweep shabby Labour into the dustbin of history where they belong.
But these star-crossed parties will never form an alliance.
Without it, Britain is doomed to a decade of socialist misrule.
We need to look elsewhere for political sunshine.
When it comes to other people’s money, Trump is the biggest spender of all time
Donald Trump
So let’s flee these leaden skies for sunnier prospects — in America, faraway Buenos Aires, nearer home in Italy and perhaps the battle-scarred Middle East.
Promising portents and optimistic omens abound, all of them high risk.
Donald Trump will be a greater success second time round than his leftie haters could possibly imagine.
Along with cost-slasher Musk, he promises to transform the way taxpayers’ trillions are spent, not wasted by self-serving bureaucrats and pork barrel politicos.
The risk is that, when it comes to other people’s money, Trump is the biggest spender of all time.
The new President’s total command of America’s politics and armed forces will be decisive in his war on woke and the pernicious politics of race and gender.
He will flex his muscles outside the USA.
The Trump White House has the opportunity to rewrite the Middle East agenda following the collapse of Syria’s brutal Assad regime and its impact on the war-torn region.
The Mad Mullahs of Iran risk a similar fate.
They have lost the power to deploy what remains of their terrorist proxies Hamas and Hezbollah to threaten Israel.
Wildest dreams
Trump will revive the Abraham Accords, conceived during his first presidency, under which the Arab states of Saudi Arabia, the Emirates and Jordan recognise Israel’s right to exist as a sovereign state.
He has the power to make China and Russia think twice about invading Taiwan or prolonging the war in Ukraine by threatening crippling trade sanctions.
The same threat hovers over Nato allies who have been unwilling to pay for their own defence.
In other good news, Argentina’s eccentric new PM Javier Milei is showing the flabby West how to drag a bankrupt economy out of debt, unaffordable spending and rampant corruption.
Copying his heroine Margaret Thatcher, Milei has slashed triple-digit inflation and put prosperity back on the agenda with a forecast 5.3 per cent growth spurt — beyond Starmer’s wildest dreams.
And in Italy, so-called fascist PM Giorgia Meloni has slashed illegal immigration by two-thirds in two years, making her the most influential politician in Europe.
These promising developments are what we mystics call portents — signs of good times to come, like swallows returning for the summer.
Sadly those swallows are heading elsewhere.
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Britain under Labour PM Keir Starmer is heading in precisely the opposite direction — with four more years to run.
I foresee trouble ahead.