Funny how the Legal Aid lot are always there for the terrorists but NEVER for the victims

DO you ever get the feeling that our authorities are kinda on the wrong side? That the people who do the right thing don’t get a break, whereas the bad ’uns get every help they could possibly want?

Take the case of legal aid. For years now, the relatives of those British people who were murdered by the IRA bomb in London’s Hyde Park in 1982 have been trying to get justice.

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They want to bring a civil case against John Downey, allegedly one of the bombers.

This callous attack saw four British soldiers murdered. The bomb also killed seven horses. It was, like all of those IRA attacks which maimed and killed ordinary people, vile and cowardly.

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But can the relatives of the victims get legal aid? Can they hell. The Legal Aid Agency decided the costs of bringing a civil case were not “proportionate”. Proportionate to what? The relatives appealed but the courts told them to get lost again. Not in the public interest. We don’t care. P**s off!

To bring a civil case against Downey would cost £650,000. OK, that’s a fair whack. But compare it to this. The Legal Aid Agency was perfectly happy to pay £675,000 to the hook-handed Muslim cleric, Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Masri, when he was fighting terrorism charges. He’s now in prison, probably for life, in the US.

The agency was also happy to pay hundreds of thousands of pounds to the Muslim killers of Private Lee Rigby, who was hacked to death in the middle of a street in Greenwich.

And the greatest irony of all — a criminal case was brought against Downey for murder. But it collapsed because Tony Blair’s Labour government had given former IRA murderers immunity from prosecution.

Once again, the Legal Aid Agency was happy to fund Downey’s fight against justice. Always happy to fund the bad guys. Never very happy to fund the innocent people who just want legal redress.

Better still, the British Government spent more than £200million on the Bloody Sunday Inquiry. That’s taxpayer’s money, all spent to indict the British Army and keep the violent Irish Republicans happy. To give THEM legal redress.

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But ordinary British people who saw their loved ones murdered? Not a chance, matey. Whistle for it, you mugs. You’re getting nothing.

Let’s do the maths.

The bill for legal aid, which would enable the relatives of those four dead soldiers to achieve something close to justice, would be something like 0.2 per cent of the amount spent on the Bloody Sunday Inquiry.

But that’s still too much money for our authorities.

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Maybe it’s because, these days, we want to pretend that the IRA were noble freedom fighters. Rather than pig-ignorant, murderous scum. You will remember all the lovely eulogies for Martin McGuinness when he died. From the BBC and the liberal politicians. A murderer. A commander of the IRA.

The authorities may cleave to that point of view but the rest of us have not forgotten the carnage the IRA wreaked here and in Northern Ireland. The screams, the terror, the dead bodies of innocent people.

We have not forgotten and nor will we, until people like Downey are brought to justice.

A significant proportion of Muslims living in Europe hate us and want us dead.

Not all Muslims, by any means. But a significant proportion. They are waging a war against Christianity and the Western way of life.

And too many Muslims who are not actually planting bombs or driving trucks through pedestrians won’t dob in the extremists.

Why not? Because they feel some sympathy with them?

Warning: High fad content

THE cult of so-called clean-eating is seriously damaging the health of young people, according to experts.

This fad, promoted by ditsy slebs like Gwyneth Paltrow, demands a dairy-free diet. And often a gluten-free diet.

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The trendy bunch who stick to it think they’re doing their bodies a favour. But the National Osteoporosis Society has called the movement “a ticking time bomb”.

By the time these people reach the age of 50, they’ll have bones which are more brittle than Joey Essex’s IQ.

It’s a consequence of affluence, I suppose. All these people terrified of what food they’re putting in their mouths.

A recent report suggested that most supposed gluten and dairy allergies in the West are not allergies at all.

It’s just mollycoddled kids who have been further indulged by their local GP.

Funny, isn’t it, that there is very little gluten or dairy intolerance in countries where food is hard to come by.

What a startling pair of... lovers

SURELY the weirdest love affair of the 21st century is that between Pamela Anderson and Julian Assange.

Pamela is the vast-bapped, ahem, actress, while Julian is the Wikileaks maniac holed up in Ecuador’s London embassy.

What they have in common, other than fair hair, escapes me.

Pamela said that Assange is trying to “free the world”.

Yeah, right. He’s actually a neurotic narcissist who is trying to avoid extradition to Sweden.

Where he’s wanted on charges of rape.

Still, I suppose he’s marginally less irritating than David Hasselhoff.

'Thanks for the music, Mr Geils'

YOU know you’re getting old when your favourite rock stars start dropping dead from natural causes.

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So, RIP John Geils, formerly lead guitarist of the brilliant J Geils Band.

His group are probably most famous over here for the rather irritating hit Centerfold.

And that’s a shame, because in the 1970s they were one of the most exciting blues bands in the world.

I remember taking their album Nightmares along to a school disco in 1974.

All the kids were dancing to the Bay City Rollers and Mud. Then they put Nightmares on and – I’m telling you – it cleared the floor in seconds.

Anyway, thanks for the music, Mr Geils.

CONGRATULATIONS to the team from Balliol College, Oxford, who have just won University Challenge.

And congratulations to them, too, for giving us all hope by showing that they’re really as thick as mince.

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They refused to talk to a journo from the Daily Mail after their victory. They called the paper a “hateful, fascist rag”.

The screech of a three-year-old who has just dropped his lollipop. Grow up, quickly, you smug, white, male, liberal bores.

Snack is just the job

HUGELY useful advice from The Sun yesterday on how to behave during a job interview.

Some expert explained that the stuff we think we’re doing right may be all wrong.

So don’t be too self-confident – they’ll think you’re a cocky t***er. Don’t be too much of a stickler for detail – they’ll think you’re neurotic. And don’t be too positive – they’ll think you’re a deluded half-wit.

If you’ve got a job interview coming up, I have a few more tips . . .

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• No matter how irritating any of the questions, it is rarely a good idea to punch your interviewer. Restrain yourself to a light slap or calling him by an obscene name.
• If you feel the need to eat a snack midway through your interview, try to ensure it is not too messy. A packet of Quavers is OK, or a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. But a chicken balti pie is a step too far. Make sure you offer some of your snack to the interviewers.
• It is OK to pass wind during an interview if you immediately waft the air with your hand and comment: “That one’s been brewing a while!” They will think you witty and fun to have on the team.
• Be careful when asked what your interests and hobbies are, especially if they are confined to obsessively stalking celebrities. Just say you enjoy admiring famous people from afar. If your interest is hardcore
• Russian porn, just explain that you enjoy being immersed in foreign culture.
• It is perfectly fine to try to cop off with your interviewer, if he or she is fit. But try not to touch them while the interview is in progress. If you must touch them, keep your hands above the waist.

I hope this is useful.

On a final note...

MORE news to cheer you up. We now give ONE EIGHTH of the entire world’s spending on overseas aid.

We’re now spending 14billion quid.

And the reason we’re doing that is because the UK is so well off. We’ve got money to burn, you see.

In fact, burning it would be just about as useful in most cases.