Menopause is not a punchline to a joke — we need to take it seriously
I AM baffled that something which affects half the population is still talked about in hushed whispers or never even broached.
It’s sad and damaging that women still feel embarrassed or ashamed about the menopause because it is just a natural part of life.
This week I talked about my experience of going through it and I was stunned by the reaction.
There were so many women who identified with my experience but were hungry for information and advice, and lots of men who were desperate to know how they could understand and help to support their wives, partners, sisters and mums.
I first began getting symptoms around five years ago but it took me a while to get help.
Luckily my colleague and good friend Dr Hilary Jones was there to give me advice.
The poor man always has a queue of us with everything from bunions to bronchitis every morning he comes in to the TV studio.
He was invaluable last year when I suddenly realised I felt as though all the joy had seeped out of my life, like air disappearing from a balloon.
I vividly remember being away last Easter in the beautiful southern Spanish city of Cordoba.
The sun was shining, we were going out for a lovely meal and all should have been well with the world, but I just felt completely flat.
I felt guilty for feeling so low for what seemed like no apparent reason.
When I came home I had to host the High Street Fashion Awards and I felt lumpen, leaden and listless.
Of course, I painted on my best smile and no one could tell that inside I was so miserable.
I remember Princess Diana talking about her eating disorder and saying she felt like a soluble Disprin that was slowly dissolving in water. I now understand exactly what she meant.
It’s a horrible way to feel, especially when you see people dealing with really tough situations. But you can’t just “pull yourself together”, because it doesn’t work like that.
There seems to be a real reluctance among women to say they are menopausal and very few in the public eye will admit they have gone through what used to be called “the change”.
Maybe they are worried that they will somehow seem old and that it will affect their job prospects.
If so, that really is a sad reflection on our times.
There have been notable exceptions, of course. Carol Vorderman, has been searingly honest about her menopause experience, which left her deeply depressed and almost suicidal.
As she is one of the most well-adjusted and positive women I know, her revelations came as a real shock to me.
It also showed that it doesn’t matter how rich, famous or happy you may appear to be on the surface, something like the menopause can cause havoc with your peace of mind, as well as having to cope with all the physical symptoms.
Carol and I have had really good chats about this, and it’s so important to talk to your friends and family and let them know what’s going on.
No woman should have to suffer in silence when there’s so much help out there. I think GPs need to be a lot more understanding and helpful to women who actually pluck up the courage to ask for help.
There are pockets of enlightenment in the medical profession but far too often menopausal women are dismissed and more or less told to “get on with it”.
This is not acceptable.
Carol used a hormone gel you rub directly on to your arms and said the effect was almost immediate.
For me, HRT patches really worked but there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
There have been a lot of scare stories around HRT that have since been debunked but it’s a very personal decision.
I also found my exercise classes really helped to lift my mood and made me feel more positive about life.
Other women swear by a change in their diet.
Some snarky commentators seem to suggest the menopause is somehow a first-world problem that only happens to spoiled, entitled women.
This is nonsense.
Sadly, the reason it’s not an issue in poorer countries is because they are even worse than we are about talking about it.
But far more importantly, too many women who live in countries with a low life expectancy die before the menopause kicks in.
What I would like to see is everyone being able to talk openly about the issue.
It should cease to be a taboo subject, something to be furtively hidden away.
The menopause should not be the punchline to crass, sexist jokes and be taken seriously and sensitively.
We mums have a responsibly to talk to our daughters and our sons about the menopause and it’s time women stopped suffering in silence.
Holly's brave new life
HOLLY MATTHEWS is not what grief is supposed to look like.
Her way of coping is to do her hair, slap on some make-up and try to help her two small daughters come to terms with their new world.
Holly, who starred in Waterloo Road, has been posting videos about her husband Ross since he was diagnosed with brain cancer three years ago.
It was partly to have a record for daughters Brooke, six, and four-year-old Texas, but also to work through her despair and to help other people in their situation.
Even after the diagnosis, the couple remained positive about the future and planned to move into a new house. But in May this year, Ross suffered a seizure.
His condition deteriorated and he passed away.
Holly had to tell her daughters that their daddy was dying, which was heartbreaking, but it meant they could say a proper goodbye.
She also spoke to Jeff Brazier who, of course, had to have a similar conversation with his little boys when their mum Jade Goody died of cervical cancer in 2009.
Jeff told Holly to be honest, to try to answer their questions and not be tempted to say “daddy is sleeping” because they would be confused and devastated when he failed to wake up.
One of the toughest things for Holly was people not knowing what to say to her, or the well-meaning platitudes.
Holly has continued to post videos online and the positive reaction has helped her enormously.
People have shared their experiences and also asked for her advice.
Holly is a strong, brave woman who has her moments of deep anguish but doesn’t want to retreat from the world.
She wants people to know what a remarkable man her husband was, and to celebrate his life.
She is handling an impossible situation the very best way she can.
Liz was a true legend
THE word “legend” is horribly overused but the late, great Liz Dawn was the real deal.
I grew up watching her as Vera Duckworth on Corrie. She was one of the all-time great stars.
I don’t think Liz had any idea how good she was. She made it look easy, with impeccable comic timing and a cheeky glint in her eye, but could also do dramatic scenes with real pathos and feeling.
I remember being at a charity do with her years ago and she told me she had forgotten to pack a top to wear under her silk trouser suit.
With wonderful quick thinking, Liz cut her thick black tights right down to the gusset and proudly produced a home-made “boob tube”.
Of course, she told everyone that night and had them in fits of laughter. She truly was a one-off and will be sadly missed.
— I DON’T like the personality cult around Jeremy Corbyn.
The chants of his name at the Labour Party conference felt more Bogota than Brighton.
We need a healthy cynicism when it comes to politicians.
It’s easy to put slogans on a banner and leave the stage to cheers.
But then you have to deliver.
And that’s the hard bit.
No Strict diet for Kris
HOW refreshing to hear Strictly sex bomb Kristina Rihanoff took almost a year to get her figure back after having a baby at 38.
Now 40, Kristina sensibly decided it was more important to spend time with baby daughter Milena than hit the gym for hours.
Despite being as fit as a fiddle, she has gradually shaped up with the help of yoga and urges all new mums not to be too hard on themselves.
I hope they take heed.
