Heartbroken mum of Lidia Pragescue — who plunged from St Paul’s Cathedral Whispering Gallery — opens up about her tragic daughter’s suicide
Isabela Dragescu said her daughter's death has been traumatic for the family and she showed no signs of depression
LIDIA was bursting to tell her mother about her dream the moment she woke up.
She recalled how “angels came and gave me a little poppy and took me to heaven — and it was so beautiful”.
Two days later the 23-year-old bid her mum an affectionate goodbye, as usual, before catching the bus from their home in Essex to St Paul’s Cathedral in central London.
There she climbed 257 steps to the Whispering Gallery, held a scrawled note in each of her hands and launched herself backwards over the parapet to her death on the polished marble floor below.
Her bereft mum Isabela told The Sun: “She wanted to see how it was on the other side.
“She thought everything about this world was messy. She picked the cathedral because she needed to fly into God’s arms.”
What makes Lidia Dragescu’s suicide so agonisingly incomprehensible for her mother, twin brother Vlad and 16-year-old brother Gabriel, is that she had everything to live for and showed no signs of depression.
She was strikingly beautiful and had photos taken for a modelling portfolio. She also recently started a biomedicine degree at the University of East London, with her sights set on becoming a brain surgeon.
Family life in the ground-floor flat in Romford was calm and loving, the four of them having fled their native Romania five years ago after Isabela’s husband turned violent.
Lidia never touched drink or drugs, was single but apparently untroubled by it.
Although she had few friends, she devoted her time to writing poetry, studying and reading. In her neat bedroom every surface is covered in books, while her bedside table heaves with the works of Freud, Tolstoy and French philosopher Voltaire.
With a sigh, Isabela said: “She would have become a doctor.
“She was fascinated with the brain, that it was something as humans we should explore more because it is not explored enough.
“She was a deep thinker. She was with us but when she studied and read she was in this other world. Her own world.”
One of Lidia’s particular passions was architecture and she had long been enraptured by the perfect lines of St Paul’s.
Isabela said: “We saw it for the first time a few years ago. She put me in front of it and told me, ‘Look mum, look at the marble columns’.
“Lidia was fascinated by beauty and told me every day that this world is ugly. We stay in our four walls. She said you couldn’t find beauty in this world any more — not real beauty.”
Even the two suicide notes she was holding as she fell on October 11 show a profound horror for causing pain in others. One of them, written in Romanian, addressed her mother directly, saying: “I need to escape and I cannot wait to see what is on the other side.
“It would be natural to be upset but do not be for me. I am better now, in a better place.”
The other was in English and read: “To all who saw me like this I am sorry. People should not come to see a dead body when coming here.
“I am sorry for showing you this ugly sight. Please go and be happy about your lives.”
Isabela, who wanted the notes to be made public, is speaking out so other families can understand the misery suicide brings.
SUICIDE NOTE TRANSLATION
Mum I am really sorry for upsetting you in this way.
It would be natural to be upset but do not be for me, I am better now, in a better place.
I am doing this for me, to escape.
All of the past and the present it makes my head heavy.
It will be very difficult without me for a time but after this you will be okay.
Think about me that I am good now.
I told you how much I love you.
I am sorry I care but I need to escape and I cannot wait to see what is on the other side.
I love you all remain well and I will see you when you are old. Take care of you. Thank you for everything.
She said: “Whatever made her do it, someone taking their own life solves nothing.” Lidia was not short of attention when she was alive, according to her mum, who said: “All the eyes were on her everywhere and she was aware how attractive was, but she never had a boyfriend in her life.
“She got me to go with her to places because she didn’t want to be approached by a guy.
“She often told me that she loved only me and didn’t want to be with anyone else. She died a virgin.
“She didn’t want a boyfriend, maybe because of her father. I don’t know why she couldn’t love.
“She couldn’t even fall for anyone. She didn’t fancy anyone. She couldn’t bear to be beside a man. I don’t know why, but she wasn’t a lesbian either.”
Isabela explained that Lidia had been a “perfectly normal” child who was “always fascinated by science” and did well at her international private school in Iasi, Romania.
But when her parents split and she moved to England as a teenager, she became inward-looking.
Isabela said: “She was more lighthearted back in our country. She was an active kid and liked swimming and being outdoors. She had friends but she changed since coming here.
“I think my separation from her father affected her a lot, as she loved him very much. They lost contact completely when we moved.”
The last time Lidia saw her dad was when he had a violent outburst and destroyed their home.
Isabela recalled: “It was traumatising for me and my children. He wanted to be by himself. That was the first time he had done anything like that.
“The children were shocked. He never hurt them. He’s an educated man with a degree and is remarried now.” The four fled to Bucharest for “a better life”, moving between hotels while the twins, Lidia and Vlad, applied to universities in the UK.
After a brief stint in Birmingham the family moved to Essex. Vlad began a masters in law and Lidia her science degree.
Isabela said: “She was cerebral and the most intelligent person. She was very sane, not insane. She was the brain in this house.
“This is not depression. It is something else and I cannot understand it.”
To illustrate her point, Isabela showed us an Oyster card Lidia ordered before she died.
Her mum said: “Look, this just arrived. This is not the action of a depressed person.
“I think she decided [to take her own life] on her journey to school, on that very same day. Instead of stopping at her school she took the No25 bus to St Paul’s Cathedral. She picked it because of her love for God. She needed to be trusted in God’s hands.
“Lidia seemed normal when she left. Nothing could have told me something bad was going to happen.
“She said, ‘Bye Mum, I’m going to school’. I said, ‘Bye, God bless you’.
“The night before, we laughed a lot. It was a very pleasant night. We sat in the front room and looked at the sky. It was just the two of us.”
Isabela collapsed when the police said her daughter was dead. Vlad, Lidia’s twin, has vowed never to celebrate his birthday again.
Isabela said: “Not even the worst person in the world deserves this.
“It is the nightmare of every parent. For every mum. You cannot dare to have a nightmare about this.
She was the most beautiful child anyone could have wished for. She’s not only beautiful but she’s special. Those eyes.
“She was from another world. She was a gift for me.”
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