DIRTY MIND?

This bizarre gallery of rude-looking fruit and veg will leave you red-faced

These choice vegetables will certainly give you food for thought

Phoebe Cooke

Published: 17:31, 2 Jan 2018
Updated: 19:29, 3 Jan 2018

rude veg

YOUR five-a-day has never made you laugh as much as this outrageous fruit and veg display.

Banish boring brussel sprouts from your mind, and let the porn stars of the vegetable world take a bow.

Strawberry fields forever — Strawberry fields foreverCredit: Jam Press

Who knew aubergines could be so rude, or peppers so perky?

These specimens seem intent on making a fool of their eaters.

Whether it's a cheekily aroused tomato or a vulva-tastic pepper, some vegetables have clearly been flourishing in fertile soils.

Let your inner child bubble to the surface, as your bid to eat more fruit and veg this year gains a comedy dimension.

TIT-TOP TATTIES

These potatoes look uncannily like a pair of breasts - albeit in root vegetable form — These potatoes look uncannily like a pair of breasts - albeit in root vegetable formCredit: Jam Press

PICK OF THE CROP

For some vegetables, size really does matter — For some vegetables, size really does matterCredit: Jam Press

BUM'S THE WORD

This peachy posterior (well, a tomato) could give Kim Kardashian a run for her money — This peachy posterior (well, a tomato) could give Kim Kardashian a run for her moneyCredit: Jam Press

RED HOT CHILLI PEPPER

It's a pepper - but bears an uncanny resemblance to a vagina, too

AUBERGINES RISE IN POPULARITY

This well-endowed eggplant just can't stay still — This well-endowed eggplant just can't stay stillCredit: Jam Press

WHAT A COCK-UP

The cheeky tomato is full of fire - and bound to get a rise from any shopper — The cheeky tomato is full of fire - and bound to get a rise from any shopperCredit: Jam Press

70-year-old woman stunned to find phallic-shaped pear in bag bought from Tesco

SERGEANT PEPPER

The godfather of all peppers leaves little to the imagination — The godfather of all peppers leaves little to the imaginationCredit: Jam Press

CRACKING FIND

PEACHY CHEEKS

A juicy find came a cropper in this field — A juicy find came a cropper in this fieldCredit: Jam Press

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A KNIFE TO THE MANHOOD

This reenactment looks rather menacing — This reenactment looks rather menacingCredit: Jam Press

WHAT A CROPPER

This fruit hardly leaves anything to the imagination — This fruit hardly leaves anything to the imaginationCredit: Jam Press

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