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Burn wood, they said, it’ll be green, they said — how the eco-freaks got us all wheezing

As we're about to be sued for the toxic air we breathe in, this is an eye-opener into how the Green loons lobby works

HOW’S your cough coming on? And what about the kids? They come home wheezing every day, their lungs full of a kind of weird sooty black gunk?

Pollution in our cities is worse than it’s been for many years. The way things are going you could give your kids 20 Rothmans a day and they wouldn’t be much worse off than they already are.

 Burn wood, they said, it'll be green they said - but the eco-freaks have got us all wheezing
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Burn wood, they said, it'll be green they said - but the eco-freaks have got us all wheezingCredit: Getty - Contributor

And the reason for this is a genuine scandal. A real eye-opener. It shows what happens when people in authority take notice of the people who know absolutely nothing. The Green lobby. The eco-freaks. The obsessive loons. The climate change fanatics.
Right now the Government is thinking of getting tough on wood-burning stoves.

If you’re middle class, you’ve probably got one. They’ve become incredibly popular in the last decade.

Trouble is they spew out enormous amounts of something called PM2.5 particles. That’s soot to you and me.

 As we're about to be sued for the toxic air we breathe in, this is an eye-opener into how the Green loons lobby works
11
As we're about to be sued for the toxic air we breathe in, this is an eye-opener into how the Green loons lobby worksCredit: PA:Press Association

They’re the major cause of soot in our cities and the main reason everyone you know is gasping for breath.

We’re about to be sued by the European Union because pollution from these stoves is way above acceptable limits.

But why do we have them?

Because at the behest of the green movement, the government encouraged us all to have them. Burning wood is much better, they said, than gas or coal or oil. Renewable! Doesn’t churn out as much CO2!

 Wood-burning stoves are the major cause of soot in our cities and the main reason everyone you know is gasping for breath
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Wood-burning stoves are the major cause of soot in our cities and the main reason everyone you know is gasping for breathCredit: Getty - Contributor

No, it just churns out lethal amounts of soot. Billions of pounds were spent by our government on a scheme to convert us to renewable heating systems.

The brainchild of the disgraced Lib Dem halfwit Chris Huhne. Millions more was spent converting one of our biggest power stations to woodchip. The wood is shipped over 3,500 miles from the US (there’s eco-friendly for you). And it’s all made everything a lot, lot, worse as a consequence.

Then there are diesel cars. You may have one. The government is getting tough on those, too.

 The government spent billions to convert us to renewable heating systems - the brainchild of disgraced Lib Dem halfwit Chris Huhne
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The government spent billions to convert us to renewable heating systems - the brainchild of disgraced Lib Dem halfwit Chris HuhneCredit: AFP

It’s now been discovered that they are much more polluting than petrol cars. It’s another major cause of pollution in our towns and cities.

So why do we have them? Because the idiotic Greens told us to. Back in 2001 the Labour government offered tax breaks on diesel cars. Everyone rushed to buy one.

A member of that Labour government has now ’fessed up and said it was the wrong decision, no question.

But they wanted their Green credentials.

 A Labour government after their green credentials offered tax breaks on diesel cars - and look at the 37,800 more deaths every year it's caused
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A Labour government after their green credentials offered tax breaks on diesel cars - and look at the 37,800 more deaths every year it's causedCredit: Alamy

And just look what trouble it has caused — 37,800 more deaths every year in this country simply as a consequence of those wood burning stoves. It is close to unbelievable.

I wonder what the Greens will come up with next as an idea to save the planet.

Maybe we should burn magpies, or sour cream and chive Pringles, or our own trousers.

The truth is they haven’t got the remotest idea. They urge these measures upon us without the slightest notion of what might happen as a consequence.

And the problem is that important people take them seriously. Governments, for example.

And we end up paying through the nose for their idiocies — and then, a little later, gasping for breath.

The wood burning stove business should convince all members of Parliament. Never listen to a green.

No matter how nice he or she might seem. Just ignore them. They’re bad for your health.

Let Abram keep on roaming

WHAT a shame – Roman Abramovich can’t get back into the country because we haven’t cleared his visa. So he’s sitting on his yacht somewhere, getting snippy. I’m not sure why we let Roman in in the first place.

You don’t get his kind of money by being lovely to everybody, do you?

 Rod is not sure why we let Roman Abramovich and the rest of the Russkie gangsters - sorry, oligarchs - in in the first place
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Rod is not sure why we let Roman Abramovich and the rest of the Russkie gangsters - sorry, oligarchs - in in the first placeCredit: Getty - Contributor

First we helped wreck the Russian economy in the early 1990s by plundering its state run industries. Then we opened the doors to a whole bunch of Russkie gangsters – sorry, oligarchs – with boats the size of Poland. Anyway, I’ll probably end up glowing like a Belisha beacon just for writing this.

Woman whod-Dan-it

BROADCASTER Dan Snow has admitted he lies to his daughters.

He’s told them that during the war there were loads of female Spitfire pilots. Zooming around, shooting down krauts. He says he doesn’t want them to feel limited by their gender. He should have gone further. Told them that back then Britain was led by a nice lady called Winnie.

 Dan Snow lies to his daughters to help them not feel limited by their gender - he should've told them Britain was led by a nice lady called Winnie
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Dan Snow lies to his daughters to help them not feel limited by their gender - he should've told them Britain was led by a nice lady called WinnieCredit: Corbis

And that the first person up Everest was a little girl called Hillary. And as for that Ada Hitler . . .

Jihadi brides' rap-per sheet

THE Iraqis are executing the IS jihadi brides. Loads of them.
These are the women who willingly married the murderous psychos of the Islamic State.

Wife of dead ISIS fighter claims SHE too is a victim of the terror group

Some of them are whining that they had no idea their husbands were evil Islamists. One of them said she thought she was marrying a rapper.

Yeah, right love. We’ve got a few here, mind.

Women who went out to join IS and then thought better of it. They’re lucky we won’t extradite them to Iraq.

Bag is a gift for Royal Wedding guests

HEY – got your Royal Wedding gift bag yet? Guests to the wedding are flogging them on eBay for as little as £20,000. Hell of a bargain. I’ve got a bid in on one right now. It says it contains:

 Guests to the wedding are flogging their gift bags on eBay for as little as £20,000 - here's what one contains, according to Rod...
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Guests to the wedding are flogging their gift bags on eBay for as little as £20,000 - here's what one contains, according to Rod...
  • Packet of Duchy Original sugar-free Hemp and Acorn Cookies
  • A plastic imitation corgi poo
  • Book entitled Interesting Facts About Prince Edward and which, judging from the photo, seems to contain no pages.
  • Cotton tea towel featuring Princess Anne scowling at a common person.
  • Bone china plate featuring Prince Andrew drumming up business for Britain (ie, stuck in the rough at the third hole of a golf course in Dubai).
  • Small packet of “Authentically Harry’s” ginger nostril hair.
  • Two Haribo sweets made in shape of THAT wedding ring. Only £25,000. Tell me it’s not money well spent.

Proud of Posh pout

I’VE got a bit of a soft spot for Victoria Beckham. She’s been criticised for not smiling at the wedding of Harry and Meghan.

Some people have suggested Posh Spice was looking a bit grim because David had been out on the pull again. Nah. She wasn’t smiling because, basically, she’s a miserable cow.

 Posh Spice wasn't smiling because she's a miserable cow, says Rod, not for any other reason
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Posh Spice wasn't smiling because she's a miserable cow, says Rod, not for any other reasonCredit: Splash News

And I like that. Why should she have to wander around grinning like a village idiot?

Keep the sulk and the pout, Vikki, love. Plus I liked what she was wearing at the bash. She was dressed as if for the funeral of someone she didn’t know very well. She looked great.

Writers were my heroes

SO, all four of the great American authors are dead. Both Tom Wolfe and Philip Roth died this week.

Saul Bellow and the finest of them all, John Updike are already dead.

 Writers we've lost this week... Tom Wolfe was one of Rod's heroes
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Writers we've lost this week... Tom Wolfe was one of Rod's heroesCredit: AP:Associated Press
 So was American author Philip Roth who also died this week
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So was American author Philip Roth who also died this weekCredit: Reuters

These gentlemen were my heroes when I was growing up. But how long will they be remembered?

Updike is already unfashionable on account of his alleged sexism. Wolfe and Bellow were quite right-wing, so the literary critics will quickly consign their books to the “dead white male” rubbish bin of history. And as a consequence, we will have lost an awful lot.

Keep their work alive, whatever the critics tell you. Read The Bonfire of the Vanities, or Couples, or The Dean’s December and marvel at the insight and the beauty of the prose . . .

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