Remainer Lord Mandelson plots with Tom Watson to skewer us all by wrecking Brexit
Labour's Barbecue Boys have a second EU referendum to foil Brexit on the menu — and the Tory civil war plays into Mandy’s Machiavellian masterplan
PICTURE the scene... a hot late-summer breeze carries a whiff of sulphur as two of Britain’s most widely loathed political figures host a secret barbecue.
A smirking Prince of Darkness, a.k.a. Lord Mandelson, hovers over hot coals in the grounds of his plush London home skewering pork sausages like personal enemies with his pitchfork.
By his side, scheming Tom Watson — who used to be one of the deadliest — pours petrol on the flames.
But whose lives and reputations are being blackened in Mandy’s Hampstead backyard? With two such gruesome characters in play, the possibilities are endless.
For starters, there are plots involving a threatened Labour split by third-rate Blairite leftovers.
There is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, whose sly racism and support for murderous terrorists must qualify him for one of Mandy’s vilest purges.
But top of the Barbecue Boys’ menu is a parliamentary coup and a second referendum to sabotage Brexit once and for all.
This is mega-rich Mandy’s all-consuming passion.
The former EU trade commissioner has staked his six-figure Brussels pension on thwarting the UK’s 2016 vote to quit the European Union. Corbyn is at war with the old Labour Party, he has fallen out with shadow chancellor John McDonnell. Jewish MPs and political broadcasters scandalously need protection at Labour events.
But Brexit is here and now. The timetable is in play, the Cabinet in chaos and key talks are scheduled for next month.
A Commons showdown looms and the clock, as EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier likes to say, is ticking. Mandelson’s outriders are scheming with Labour opportunist Keir Starmer, high-minded Tories like Dominic Grieve — and perhaps Chancellor-saboteur Phil Hammond.
Their object is not just to scupper Theresa May’s botched Chequers Deal, but to break Brexit all together and keep Britain securely locked behind EU bars.
Watson is less interested in the cause. He’s addicted to plotting.
The Witch-Finder General digs dirt where none exists — and he abuses parliamentary privilege to destroy his innocent victims.
He will do whatever Mandy requires to smear the Brexiteers — especially Boris Johnson.
Worryingly for those who voted OUT in 2016, Remainers seem ahead on points at the moment.
The political weather has changed since July when Theresa May was fighting for her life and Remain converts Jeremy Hunt and Sajid Javid were polishing their new Brexit credentials.
Today, Mrs May is more confident, with arch-Brexiteer Michael Gove inexplicably leading a group of 40 Tory MPs in support of her Chequers deal.
The Environment Secretary argues Britain can leave the EU officially next March — even with a bad deal — and return later to finish Brexit properly.
Critics point out this would put us back in the EU in all but name — with no say and a £40BILLION ransom bill for the privilege.
Some suspect Mr Gove’s real priority is Theresa May’s job, not Brexit.
All this plays into Mandy’s Machiavellian masterplan.
Where there is harmony, he will sow discord.
But, along with Theresa May and EU leaders, he is surely reckoning without the 52 per cent who voted OUT — plus the millions more who might do so in Ref2.
October’s Tory conference will show which way the wind is blowing. There are murmurs of open revolt and uncharacteristic booing during Mrs May’s keynote speech.
Boris Johnson has been silent for a month. He will burst into life again at a fringe meeting packed with supporters and TV cameras.
The party is being flooded with new pro-Brexit members. Nigel Farage is back on the rampage.
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It is hard to see how Remainers like Mandelson, Tony Blair and Phil Hammond can hope to get away with betraying the biggest democratic vote in the history of this land.
They are misguided if they think voters will simply carry on as if nothing had happened while Brussels punishes us for trying to escape. There may be trouble ahead.
But if there is such a thing as justice, it will be Mandy who ends up as another prawn on the barbie.
PROJECT FEAR FANTASY
PHIL “Tax Hammer” Hammond caused uproar last week with another Project Fear fantasy.
The Chancellor trumped claims of sperm shortages and a bacon and lettuce famine by predicting an £80billion Brexit “blackhole”.
His misery forecast came days after welcoming a surprise DROP in borrowing and a BOOST to tax revenues.
Both thanks to the only Project Fear forecast ever to prove right – the welcome fall in the Pound which boosted exports and slashed the UK trade gap.
