Grace’s murder is terrible but you can’t lock kids up, thousands of youngsters go backpacking each year without serious incident

WHEN my oldest daughter announced she was off backpacking around the world for several months, I was immediately seized by two equally strong yet contradictory emotions.

Pride that my first born was taking her first steps on the path to becoming the independent woman I have always encouraged her to be . . . and abject terror that she might come to harm.

And therein lies the dilemma for parents like me who have brought up their daughters with a feminist, “girls can do or be whatever they choose” attitude: when they exercise it, you guiltily find yourself worrying more because they’re female.

Yes, young men face the danger of getting hurt too, but for women there’s the extra worry of sexual violation, particularly in the travelling world of shared rooms, excess alcohol and abandoned cautionary instinct when you’re thousands of miles from home.

Consequently, when my tech-savvy daughter headed off around Asia, I would suffer sleepless nights if there was a couple of days without contact.

And when she eventually headed towards the more westernised confines of Australia and New Zealand, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Somewhat prematurely, as it turned out.

Her bag was stolen from her supposedly “secure” hostel in New Zealand and, on a trip to Fiji, the boat capsized and she had to swim for her life — scrambling on to coral that shredded her legs and required a trip to hospital.

But in the context of what can happen, this pales to insignificance compared to the sheer hell being endured by the distraught family of Grace Millane.

Grace, from Essex, arrived in New Zealand on November 20 after a four-week trip to Peru.

Just like my daughter, she was friendly, caring and, most crucially of all, wholly communicative with her family back home.

So when she failed to respond to messages for a few days, they instinctively feared something terrible had happened.

Sadly, they were proved right.

At some point on December 1 or 2 — her 22nd birthday — she was murdered, her body dumped in bushland 20 miles outside Auckland.

A vibrant and worthwhile life that had been nurtured and cherished for two decades by her loving parents snuffed out in minutes at the hands of a brutal stranger.

Grace’s parents haven’t yet spoken out, but it’s likely that — as would I — they’re tormenting themselves with the “if only we’d forbidden her from travelling” lament on a loop.

But the truth is, you can’t bring up your daughters to be independent then tell them that, when it comes to seeing the world, they’re going to be kept home like a character in a Jane Austen novel.

All you can do is arm them with safety tips, cross your fingers, and pray they eventually return home safely.

Tragically, Grace didn’t.

But from what little we know so far, it could just as easily have happened on a night out in the UK.

Equally, we must remind ourselves that thousands of youngsters go backpacking each year without serious incident — it’s only those with tragic endings who make the headlines.

Our hearts go out to the Millane family.

True love is in bins

LOVE Island winners Dani Dyer and Jack Fincham are back together after a brief split following an argument.

In an interview at the weekend Dani says: “Love Island was testing, but it was a bubble.

"Coming out, that was a the real test.”

Ah yes.

Most of us can get on well with the other half while reclining on sun loungers and sipping a happy-hour pina colada.

But it’s the back-home mundanities of whose turn it is to wash up/put the bins out/cook/make the bed that really separates the men from the boys.

Ewe better all play nicely

WHEN her son Alfie needed a nativity play costume, Helen Cox went online and ordered a shepherd’s outfit and inflatable sheep.

But his school in Alloa, Clackmannanshire, sent the prop back home after discovering it was actually a sex toy with red lips, eyelashes and a hole in its rear end.

This reminds me of the time my youngest’s primary school set a home project of creating a farm scene.

One of the submissions included three “mini milk churns” a mother had found on the local common not realising they were discarded “hippy crack” canisters.

QUESTION: If, as seems likely, pig hearts could successfully be used in humans, would any vegans in need of a transplant accept one?

'My Blake emaciated'

BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL, aka Amy Winehouse’s “My Blake incarcerated”, appeared on GMB yesterday to voice his disquiet at the news of a tour involving a hologram of her singing.

As a former heroin user who, some say, helped enable Amy’s tragic decline, you wonder why anyone would care what he thinks.

But I digress.

For anyone still labouring under the misapprehension that it’s cool, the ravages of past drug use are etched across the 36-year-old’s gaunt face.

These days, “My Blake emaciated” might seem more fitting.

Out of fashion

TED Baker boss Ray Kelvin is on “a voluntary leave of absence” after a petition signed by more than 2,000 members of staff accused him of harassing them with unwanted hugs and sexual innuendo.

Judging by the alleged instances emerging, Mr Kelvin sounds at best overly tactile, at worse, most definitely overstepping the mark of what’s appropriate in a modern workplace.

But, as ever in such matters, what sound like clearly genuine grievances are being obfuscated by others that sound somewhat overblown.

One woman told of a male colleague who had been kissed hello on his forehead by Kelvin and told her afterwards that “he’d never felt so violated”.

He really needs to get out more.

Face of hatred

AT first glance, Chelsea fan Colin Wing, 60, looks like a mild-mannered building society manager.

But on Saturday, he was photographed hurling foul-mouthed abuse at Manchester City star Raheem Sterling, his bespectacled face twisted with hatred.

It is claimed footage shows him calling Sterling, “a f***ing black c***” but Wing claims he said “Manc c***”.

But, even if the latter is true, what possesses a seemingly respectable, grown man to behave this way towards someone he has never met simply because they play for an opposing team?

Wing, who has been suspended from Chelsea and says he’s lost his job (whatever it was) has apologised profusely to Sterling for his behaviour.

But if there’s a clearly long-suffering Mrs Wing and she’s been struggling with what to buy her husband for Christmas, might I humbly suggest a course of anger management sessions?

Filler failure

MANCHESTER-based mum Billie Roocroft says she looked like the Elephant Man after a £120 lip-filler treatment prompted an allergic reaction.

I can think of plenty of people who might consider this look understated.

We don't want to join

LONDON’S men-only Garrick Club is reportedly considering allowing women to become members.

Hoorah. Said none of us ever.

To paraphrase Groucho Marx, I refuse to join any club that has excluded me on the grounds of gender for the past 187 years.

Meghan Markle musical

MEGHAN MARKLE The Musical is reportedly in the pipeline.

Song suggestions for the soundtrack of her life might include I Am What I Am, Ya Got Trouble, Sit Down You’re Rocking The Boat, Big Spender, And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going and, from the 2006 musical Spring Awakening, Totally F***ed.

Fergie's doing it right

SARAH Ferguson posed with Etihad airline employees this week to say thank you for receiving such royal, in-flight treatment.

The Duchess of York is one smart cookie as, let’s face it, she’s managed to keep the title and accompanying kudos that cushions her from the harsh realities of life the rest of us endure while simultaneously avoiding relentless royal duties such as shaking hands with dull dignitaries in some rain-lashed outpost.

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