'BALLS ARE LOPSIDED'
Cockpit audio reveals hilarious conversation between two Navy pilots as they drew giant penis in the sky
The US naval officers landed themselves in big trouble with their manhood masterpiece in the skies over Washington state
TWO cocky US pilots who drew a giant sky penis criticised their vapour trail artwork by saying the balls were a bit "lopsided", an official report reveals.
The Naval officers - who serve with Electronic Attack Squadron 130 - landed themselves in big trouble with their manhood masterpiece in the skies over Washington state.
3
However, they never intended for members of the public to spot the giant willy, according to the report obtained by the .
Unfortunately for the pair, a mum living near the Naval Air Station Whidbey Island spotted what they had done and sent photos to a local news station.
The story soon took off and the photos went viral around the world - sparking countless internet memes and jokes.
The phallic image - made by his fighter jet's exhaust system - appeared over Okanogan County in November, 2017.
The nearby military station is home to the force's fleet of EA-18G Growlers electronic warfare aircraft.
The Top Gun lieutenants had taken off together from Whidbey earlier that day.
The squadron's commanding officer described the main pilot as a "whiz kid who managed our training and readiness with higher efficiency and effectiveness than anyone else I have seen," according to the probe.
His co-pilot - an electronic warfare officer (EWO) - was said to be his "best junior officer."
Neither have been identified publicly, and their names were blanked out from the copy of the report given to Navy Times.
It was the EWO who first suggested drawing a penis in the sky, the report claimed.
The cockpit's video recording system captured the pilots' penis chat
'Draw a giant penis,' the EWO says. 'That would be awesome.'
'What did you do on your flight?' the pilot replied. 'Oh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises.'
'You should totally try to draw a penis,' the EWO said.
'I could definitely draw one, that would be easy,' the pilot said.
'I could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back. I'm gonna go down, grab some speed and hopefully get out of the contrail layer so they're not connected to each other.'
'Dude, that would be so funny,' the pilot said.
'Airliner's coming back on their way into Seattle, just this big [expletive]ing, giant penis.
'We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too.'
The EWO can soon be heard reporting that the masterpiece was in the making.
'Balls are going to be a little lopsided,' the pilot said.
'Balls are complete,' he said moments later. 'I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.'
'Which way is the shaft going?' the EWO asked.
'The shaft will go to the left,' the pilot answered.
'It's gonna be a wide shaft,' the EWO noted.
'I don't wanna make it just like 3 balls,' the pilot said.
'Let's do it,' the EWO said. 'Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.'
My initial reaction was no, bad," the pilot wrote in a statement after the incident. "But for some reason still unknown to me, I eventually decided to do it."
In the statement after the incident, the offending pilot wrote: "Soon after, I realised the extent of our actions, that the contrails were remaining longer than predicted.
"I remarked that we needed to take steps to try to obfuscate it. I flew one pass over it essentially trying to scribble it out with my contrails. That pass was ineffective."
The plane then needed to head back to base as it was running out of fuel.
The squadron's commanding officer was "furious", but as both lieutenants had fine disciplinary records, an investigating officer recommended they only receive a slap on the wrist.
"While the sky writing was crude, immature, and unprofessional, it was not premeditated or planned and not in keeping with their character demonstrated prior to the incident," the official investigator wrote.
"Even so, it has caused the United States Navy severe embarrassment in the public arena and jeopardizes the strategic narrative that underpins the justification of the flight hour program."
MOST READ IN NEWS
Military leaders were quickly forced to apologise when the pilot's penis stunt hit the local news two years ago.
Officials released a statement admitting one of their aircraft was involved after a local mother contacted a news station to complain.
She was reportedly worried the imagery could have a negative impact on her young children.
3
3