A SOGGY bottom at this saucy US bakery might just well be seen as a good thing – but The Great British Bake Off judges are unlikely to be impressed.
Le' Bakery Sensual in Denver, Colorado, USA has become infamous for its sexually explicit, risqué, bawdy and often hilarious tasty treats that would make even presenter Paul Hollywood blush.
John Spotz, 56, launched the business in 1981, and lovingly built a reputation for "baking anything, as long as it's not malicious."
He said: "We're all experts in making genitalia in icing, breasts, vaginas… penises, scrotums, a**holes, all that fun stuff.
"A detailed penis or labia only takes me about five minutes. I've been making those for scarily close to four decades."
Usually the erotic confections slide down smoothly, but occasionally they don't settle so sweetly with their recipients.
John added: "Recently a woman ordered a cake for her boyfriend, she wanted us to create a likeness of her, naked on a stripper pole, with a dollar bill and a big marijuana joint.
"To speak bluntly her butt was gigantic. The biggest butt you've ever seen on a human being, and she said 'don't forget to make my butt look big', and I said 'oh, I noticed already.' "As it turned out she didn't know her boyfriend as well as she thought she did, he called in furious, complaining about how 'disgusting and offensive' the cake was.
"She called later and asked us to tell a white lie - we had to pretend we'd got the order wrong, when actually we'd made exactly what she'd asked for.
"She paid us for the cake and the boyfriend was pacified…we all had a laugh about that one."
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Sometimes it gets political at Le' Bakery Sensual - and they've been featured in cake dispute articles related to gay marriage several times in their 38-year run.
"Journalists call us to get the more liberal or comical view, we've had everyone from Newsweek, CBS News and Vice on the phone", he added.
"During the last election I was asked to make a cake of Hilary Clinton in prison, which was pretty funny, because I'm the biggest Hilary Clinton fan ever.
"But I decided that I would do it, and put a lot of effort into it.
"I really went to town on the details, her pantsuit was a work of art on that one, the hair, everything.
"The detail is what we love, when people ask for really specific things that's the most fun for us.
"We got an award from Playgirl magazine about ten years ago for the 'most realistic semen' at an erotic bakery in the USA.
"We get a lot of requests for jokes about what a person is like in bed, they'll usually bring a few photographs, so we can achieve a likeness.
"One of our most glorious cakes was for a fetish ball, it was a life-sized, hog-tied man in a leather harness and ropes, plenty of genitalia on show.
"It took four people to get it in the car.
"That was a great one in terms of customer reaction. We delivered it to the ball and met the birthday boy.
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"He was wearing chaps with nothing underneath, a leather collar and all that, gigantic boots, quite the outfit."
At Le' Bakery Sensual the kitchen is open for public view.
"Everyone who walks in can see us making these big butts, and genitals. They'll stop in their tracks and ask, 'what the are you making back there?' "It gets people laughing."
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