Exclusive
'It's heartbreaking'
‘Nora Quoirin’s family will be going through hell – I know what it’s like to search for a missing child abroad and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy’, says Ben Needham’s mum
AS the dense Malaysian jungle continues to be scoured in the agonising search for missing teen Nora Quoirin, her family have no choice but to helplessly sit and wait for news.
It's every parent's worst nightmare, and while the 200-strong search team remains hopeful of finding the 15-year-old, her mum and dad are said to be too devastated and upset to speak.
15
For one mum, Kerry Needham, it's a situation that brings back agonising emotions, because to have a child disappear with no explanation is a scenario she tragically knows only too well.
It's been 28 years since her 21-month-old son Ben vanished on July 24 1991 from his grandparents' house on the Greek Island of Kos while Kerry worked at a nearby hotel.
And while it's only been six days since Nora disappeared and search teams have every faith the teen will be found, Kerry knows the agony of those initial days when a child goes missing in an unfamiliar country.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun Online, Kerry reveals the feelings of anguish, fear and helplessness Nora's parents Meabh and Sebastien must be feeling, based on her own experiences.
15
15
15
15
15
15
15
'It breaks my heart children are still vanishing'
Kerry, 46, from Sheffield, says: "Hearing about another child going missing and just suddenly vanishing on holiday is shocking - it makes my stomach turn.
"These things are still happening and they shouldn't be. It hurts me. How can a child just disappear and in my case, not be found? It's unimaginable - it breaks my heart."
Last month marked 28 years since her little boy Ben disappeared while playing with his toy trucks outside at his grandparents' house, and still today she is desperate to find out what happened.
She says: "While there's every hope Nora will be found, I can still understand what Nora's parents are going through right now. They'll be going through hell.
"Every time I hear about a case like this it just brings everything back. You remember exactly what happened in those first few hours, and days.
"The panic, the terror, and being in a different country - having to deal with unfamiliar and foreign police, with no support or help, with English language limited, you don't know how they work - it's a very frightening experience.
"That fear and the questions you ask yourself constantly - where are they? What's happened to them? - all the possibilities go through your mind - it's horrific.
"I hope they find her safe and well - I wouldn't wish the life we've had on our worst enemy. It's a horrible life to have to live, and still live now.
"They will do everything they can, like every family of every missing child. We will all do whatever it takes."
15
15
15
'You feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall'
The nightmare scenario of having to make sense of your child vanishing was made more difficult for Kerry by the fact that she was abroad, and she felt confused and alone.
Speaking about the initial hours, she says: "I was numb. I couldn't eat, sleep, couldn't even think or talk because all the time 'what has happened?' was going through my mind.
"I just sat in the police station for three days straight trying to get sense out of the police. We were just shocked.
"The language barrier created frustration. My dad kicked off a few times and my brother slammed his hands on the desk in frustration when they accused him of being involved, but they then just took that as a sign of guilt.
"We felt isolated and alone. We had a shopkeeper as a translator, which looking back at we think 'How did we manage?'
"We were abandoned. No one was sent to support us. Now, it makes me angry but at the time we didn't know any better. We just dealt with everything alone.
"The anger, worry and the frustration is unreal. You're banging your head against your brick wall. The battle we had was horrendous.
"The police didn't get the urgency - they wouldn't knock on people's doors to search as they said it would be an invasion of privacy.
"It's a child that's missing - you need to talk to people. In a foreign country it's horrible - in Britain dealing with the police things don't get lost in translation or misunderstood. If you're frustrated and you lash out back home at the British police can understand what you're saying."
Kerry also thinks there were concerns about publicising Ben's disappearance - for fear it would impact tourism.
She says: "For tourist resorts - any negative publicity is bad for them - so they play it down. The Greek police played it down as they didn't want bad publicity for their resort as it would damage tourism. If people hear children have gone missing from holiday destinations, they won't go."
15
Ben Needham's disappearance
BEN Needham vanished on the Greek island of Kos in 1991.
He was born 29 October 1989 in Sheffield, but disappeared aged just 21-months on 24 July 1991.
The toddler had been on holiday with his family on the Greek Island of Kos.
On the day of his disappearance, little Ben was being looked after by his grandparents while mum Kerry went to work at a local hotel.
Ben had been coming in and out of the home (a farmhouse that was being renovated by the family) when, at around 2.30pm, it was discovered he was gone.
At first, the family began to search nearby for the tot, assuming that he had wandered off, or that Kerry’s teenage brother Stephen had taken him out for a ride on his moped.
But there was no sign of Ben so eventually the search was widened.
Despite numerous investigations and an array of reported sightings, he has never been found.
His mum Kerry never stopped looking for her little boy - ignoring reports that he may have been crushed by a digger on the day he disappeared.
The day after Ben's disappearance, builders including Konstantinos Barkas, also known as Dino, claimed they had spotted a white car occupied by three people parking nearby before he vanished.
However, nine years later this car was traced to Xanthippi Agrelli, the family's translator, who said she had visited that day. The family denied this and urged officers to re-investigate.
In 2016 police revealed they believed Ben may have been crushed to death by a digger - but this was never proven.
15
'Leaving the island was the worst day of my life'
Following an agonising search with no results, Kerry and her family then found leaving the the Greek Island after two months particularly hard.
Kerry says: "We stayed on the island until September. We were dying - literally none of us could work, we were mentally and physically exhausted.
"I had depression, we were ill, and had to come back home - we had no choice. We needed the rest of our family around us, we needed support.
"Leaving the island was the worst day of my life. Even now it chokes me. I remember getting on the ferry to Athens and going away from the island - I felt like I'd left him behind but I had to.
"I felt guilty. My mum and dad especially carry that guilt because they were looking after him that day - I felt I shouldn't have gone to work that day but that's what we all do. The guilt is horrific to deal with and live with."
In the years that followed Kerry desperately awaited news on her son, returning to Kos multiple times but received few updates, until the South Yorkshire Police launched a cold case review in 2011.
In 2016 a search discovered a toy car belonging to Ben, and police confirmed they believed Ben died as the result of an accident involving now-dead local JCB digger driver Konstantinos Barkas near the farmhouse.
15
15
'It's got harder as time's gone on'
For Kerry, while the pain won't go away until she knows exactly what has happened to her son, thankfully she has since found joy as mum to 25-year-old daughter Leighanna, and is proud grandmother to Hermione, five, and Aurora, 18 months.
She says: "My memories of Ben and what happened never go away - we deal with it every single day.
"It's got harder as time has gone on. There's still no explanation.
"The police's theory is Ben died on the day he disappeared - but there's still no proof that this is what's happened. We won't stop, we'll never stop. Our life is still on hold.
"It's the not knowing - it's the worst thing not knowing exactly what's happened and where your child is.
"We do what we can and just wait for any information. We try to keep busy, I've got my two granddaughter's and they make me feel happy."
Missing Nora Quoirin - Cops play voice recording of 15-year-old Brit girl's mum over loudspeaker in a desperate bid to find her in Malaysian jungle
Topics