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TONY PARSONS

Theresa May will win our hearts by standing up to the bullies in Brussels — No Deal means no £39billion

No Deal and Jean-Claude Juncker will be sipping methylated spirits instead of Chateau Margaux

JUST when I feel my faith in Brexit wavering, the European Union acts like a playground bully demanding dinner money from the class weakling — and I remember why we yearn to break free.

This week the EU growled darkly that the United Kingdom must pay our £39billion Brexit bill even if we leave WITHOUT a deal.

 Now is the hour for this country to unite behind a PM who is doing everything in her power to get Brexit over the finishing line
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Now is the hour for this country to unite behind a PM who is doing everything in her power to get Brexit over the finishing lineCredit: PA:Press Association

Which prompts the response — or what?

And I ask the 16million of my fellow countrymen who voted to remain in the EU: How can you stand seeing our nation treated like a stroppy little colony by our imperial masters in Brussels?

And how can we belong to an organisation that treats us like dirt?

Now is the hour for this country to unite behind a PM who is doing everything in her power to get Brexit over the finishing line.

Spell it out to them when you go to Brussels, Theresa — look the EU in the eye and tell them loud and clear so that they can be in no possible doubt.

NO DEAL means NO £39BILLION.

No Deal and the EU budget will have a black hole that could sink it into recession.

No Deal and Jean-Claude Juncker will be sipping methylated spirits instead of Chateau Margaux.

 No Deal and Jean-Claude Juncker will be sipping methylated spirits instead of Chateau Margaux
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No Deal and Jean-Claude Juncker will be sipping methylated spirits instead of Chateau MargauxCredit: Getty - Contributor

The threat of holding back that £39billion is the last hope of Brexit actually happening.

It is time for Theresa May to dig in her kitten heels.

It is time to stop acting as if the EU has any interest in fair play.

It is time to tell them that unless they give us a deal that does not leave our country on its knees, they are going to have to struggle by without £39billion of our cash.

You tell them, Theresa! No British Prime Minister ever made themselves unpopular by standing up to the sneering tyrants of ­Brussels.

That is what David Cameron never understood. That is what Theresa May has taken a long time to comprehend.

The UK wants to be friends, allies and trading partners with our European neighbours.

EU 'won't get a penny' if they refuse to cut a deal with Theresa May, Brexit Minister Kwasi Kwarteng warns

We want to buy their ­prosecco, their cars, their fruit and veg — especially their prosecco. But the British will not be shoved around. The EU has treated us like a rebellious little outpost that is ­foolishly dreaming of freedom.

They do not want to see us ­prosper. They want to see us suffer, squirm and live to regret our dreams of independence.

Why would anyone want to stay in an organisation that treats them with such haughty contempt?

People like me point out that the vote to leave the EU was the ­largest vote for anything in ­British history.

 No British Prime Minister ever made themselves unpopular by standing up to the sneering tyrants of ­Brussels -and that's what David Cameron never understood
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No British Prime Minister ever made themselves unpopular by standing up to the sneering tyrants of ­Brussels -and that's what David Cameron never understoodCredit: Getty Images - Getty

We have been too slow to say that the second biggest vote for anything in our history was the vote to stay.

So let us ALL support our Prime Minister as she does her best to find a solution that unites the 17.4million who voted to leave and the 16million who voted to stay.

We all love our country, don’t we? We have been divided — friends, families, north and south, young and old — for too long.

We will leave and we will prosper

Make it clear we want to keep trading with our EU friends, Theresa. But warn we will not be ­intimidated.

 The European Union acts like a playground bully demanding dinner money from the class weakling
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The European Union acts like a playground bully demanding dinner money from the class weaklingCredit: Getty - Contributor

The UK is not going to crawl away, wither and die simply because we had the temerity to leave the EU.

We will leave and we will prosper.

And if they want that £39billion, then those rude, arrogant old bastards in Brussels must start accepting that fact.

Stand up for your country, Theresa.

The nation will love you for it.

Incredible Christie

 Christie looking thrilled to qualify for a Cold Weather Payment
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Christie looking thrilled to qualify for a Cold Weather PaymentCredit: Rex Features

INCREDIBLY, Christie Brinkley has just turned 65 – though she jokes she is just turning 50 for the ­fifteenth time.   I have never seen anyone look so delighted to learn that they now qualify for a Cold Weather Payment.

Kate's not in a state for Insta update

 Even with a tube up her nose, Kate Beckinsale still looks as though she is about to pose for the cover of Vogue
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Even with a tube up her nose, Kate Beckinsale still looks as though she is about to pose for the cover of Vogue

SOME say our narcissistic selfie culture has gone too far when sickly celebrities are posting pictures of themselves from a hospital bed.  Andy Murray with his hip surgery, Piers Morgan with his dodgy tummy and now Kate Beckinsale, hospitalised with a ruptured ovarian cyst but still summoning up the energy to update her adoring fans on Instagram.

But even with a tube up her nose while reclining in a hospital bed, Kate still looks as though she is about to pose for the cover of Vogue.

 The 45-year-old told fans she is hospital recovering
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The 45-year-old told fans she is hospital recovering

LAMB HERO HAS CHOPS

A FARMER who could no longer stand taking his lambs to the slaughterhouse is being called a snowflake after driving 200 miles to give away his £9,000 flock to an animal sanctuary.

“Taking them to the slaughterhouse was stressing me a lot – watching them huddle in terror in the back of the lorry,” says Sivalingam Vasanthakumar, 60, who has been a farmer for 47 years.

A snowflake? I don’t think so. I eat meat but if I had to watch what happens to animals before they arrive on my plate, I would undergo the same transformation as that farmer.

The slaughterhouse didn’t turn him into a snowflake.

It turned him into a vegetarian.



TORY Nicholas Soames describes Jeremy Corbyn as a “Poundland Lenin” and receives a polite riposte from the budget store.

“I am sure our 18,000 colleagues would be grateful if you didn’t use the company name as a term of abuse,” said a Poundland spokesman.

And if he hadn’t died in 1924, I bet Russian dictator Lenin would also be annoyed  about being compared to Jeremy Corbyn.


Get rid of Tony? Fat chance

 Forget Tony - there are plenty of big-bottomed, double-chinned fatties on Labour’s front bench
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Forget Tony - there are plenty of big-bottomed, double-chinned fatties on Labour’s front bench

LABOUR has vowed to wage war against cartoon characters on breakfast cereals when the Great Leader finally enters 10 Downing Street.

Tough on Tony the Tiger, tough on the causes of Tony the Tiger.

I imagine there are many children in this country who go to school every morning with no breakfast inside them at all.

Labour should be thinking a little more about them.

And there is nothing wrong with Frosties.

There are plenty of big-bottomed, double-chinned fatties on Labour’s front bench.

I bet none of them eat Frosties for breakfast.


AVON and Somerset police have urged women to jog in groups to avoid being abused. The “Jog On” campaign was started after women were harassed by  men while out running and suggests running in all-female groups “to deter threatening behaviour”.

It’s one solution, I suppose.

Or how about this – men could stop acting like d***s.


ROSS GREER, a t, reckons Sir Winston Churchill was “a white supremacist, mass murderer and racist”.

Wow – wait until you learn about this bloke called Adolf Hitler, wee man!


STAFFIES’ REIGN OF TERRIER

IN a poll of 10,000 dog owners, the Staffordshire bull terrier came first in ITV’s Top 100 Dogs show, ahead of the cockapoo in second place and last year’s winner, the Labrador, down in third.

It is about time the beautiful but misunderstood Staffie got the love is deserves.

The Staffie is a loyal, loving dog but because of its tough image it has been the pet of choice for yobs, resulting in rescue centres being stuffed with abandoned Staffies.

It must have been a lovely moment when presenters Ben Fogle and Sara Cox announced the winning dog.

Unfortunately our Cavalier King Charles spaniel – ranked at a modest No22 – had kicked in the TV set by then.

Separated at birth?

 A Man Tricked By Gypsies and Prince Philip, right
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A Man Tricked By Gypsies and Prince Philip, rightCredit: SWNS:South West News Service

A LEONARDO da Vinci drawing owned by the Queen is the spitting image of Prince Philip. The 1493 drawing, entitled A Man Tricked By Gypsies, is on display in Glasgow as part of an exhibition  from the Royal Collection.  And the resemblance to the Duke of Edinburgh is uncanny.

The lookalike in Leonardo’s drawing is clearly not wearing a seatbelt.

Mortar life than Walford

 The new set is just a stone's throw away from the old one
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The new set is just a stone's throw away from the old one

THE BBC hoped that the new set for EastEnders would be completed by October next year, at a cost of £59.7million.

Now it looks like the work is going to be five years late and go £27million over budget – to a final bill of £86million.

Quizzed before a House of Commons public accounts committee, BBC content chief Richard Dawkins revealed  the BBC spent £44,000   looking at brick samples for the new set.

“It’s really important  to replicate the look and feel of Walford and Albert Square,” said Mr Dawkins with a straight face.  Gor blimey guvnor!

If you really want to make EastEnders authentic, then  all those cheeky chirpy characters should have moved out to Essex decades ago.



 Tony Blair says MPs know best when it comes to Brexit
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Tony Blair says MPs know best when it comes to BrexitCredit: PA:Press Association/PA Images

TONY BLAIR says   MPs need to “stand up” to the ­public because  politicians are  the experts and they know best about Brexit.

“I follow Newcastle United,” says Blair, in that I’m-just-a-regular-guy manner that still has the power to nauseate.

“If a game is on TV I will watch it, but I know Rafa  Benitez has forgotten more about football in one day  than I will ever know.”

This is the man  who enabled an unnecessary  war in Iraq that caused 461,000 deaths and ruptured race relations in our ­country.  It wasn’t the people who decided to invade Iraq.

It was Tony Blair, the expert.


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