Louis van Gaal’s most madcap moments from telling Man Utd stars to be ‘horny’ to ‘sex masochism’ analogy
LEGENDARY Dutchman Louis van Gaal is known in the game not only for his tactical nous, but his wacky moments.
The 71-year-old, who was sacked by the Red Devils in 2016 after winning the FA Cup, is currently in charge of Holland's national team.
After five years out of the game, Van Gaal agreed to replace Frank de Boer to manage Netherlands for the third time in his career.
And he has starred back in the dugout where he is yet to lose a match having won nine out of his 13 games.
His Holland side goes into the 2022 World Cup as one of the dark horses where they are expected to top their group which contains Senegal, Ecuador and Qatar.
Looking ahead to the global tournament, SunSport takes a look at seven of the most mental Van Gaal moments during his coaching career.
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1. Man Utd players must be 'horny'
With United trailing 2-1 against Midtjylland ahead of their Europa League Round of 32 second leg tie in 2016, Van Gaal delivered bizarre advice to his squad.
He said: “Most of the players shall be excited and it will be the match of their lives for most of them.
"It’s always the reason I say that top teams have to cope with the resistance of their opponent.
"Desire, hungry, I use a lot of terms. I often use the word
horny.”
His advice clearly had an impact as United won the return fixture 5-1 at the Theatre of Dreams.
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2. Sex masochism remark
Van Gaal was commenting on Leicester's Robert Huth grabbing Marouane Fellaini's hair during a 2016 clash, with the Belgian midfielder reacting by aiming an elbow towards the defender.
In his post-match interview, an animated LVG said: “When you see what Huth is doing to Fellaini, that’s a penalty.
“Shall I grab you by your hair? What is your reaction when I grab your hair?”
Van Gaal then grabbed a Sky Sports reporter's hair in a literal demonstration, as he added: "Your hair is shorter than Fellaini.
"But when I do that, what are you doing then? It’s a reaction.
“Every human being who is grabbed by the hair — only with sex masochism, then it is allowed — but not in other situations. They did it."
3. What a balls-up
During his time at Bayern Munich, Van Gaal once dropped his trousers in front of his players to prove he has total authority.
Italian striker Luca Toni revealed: "The coach wanted to make clear to us that he can drop any player.
"It was all the same to him because, as he said, he had the balls.
"He demonstrated this literally by dropping his trousers. I have never experienced anything like it, it was totally crazy.
"Luckily I didn't see a lot, because I wasn't in the front row."
4. Ryan Giggs punch
The United legend, who worked as Van Gaal's assistant manager at Old Trafford, revealed the ex-Barcelona boss once punched him during their first meeting.
Speaking on , he said: "He was different. He was very dominating. The first time I met him he punched me in the stomach.
"I’ve gone to meet him, we’ve got a list of players that I think were good and the ones that were not so good.
“I’ve gone to meet him a hotel, he’s opened the door, looked me up and down and gone ‘you are in good shape!’ then he punched me in the stomach.
“It was hard as well and I didn’t know what to do. You could have given something back but that’s me out of a job."
5. Arsenal touchline dive
One of Van Gaal's most iconic moments during his time in charge of United is when he threw himself on the ground during a clash against the Gunners.
Van Gaal was looking to get the attention of referee Craig Pawson who had missed an alleged dive from Alexis Sanchez.
The Dutchman then proceeded to demonstrate what happened to fourth official Mike Dean, drawing laughter and cheers from the United faithful.
6. Diagram Alley
After accusations from then-West Ham boss Sam Allardyce that United used long-ball tactics during the 1-1 draw at Upton Park in February 2015, Van Gaal was left incensed.
He stormed into his press conference where he brought with him four sheets of A4 paper put together by his analysis team that disputed Big Sam's claim.
Speaking to the journalists, he said: "Because I expected this question, I have made an interpretation of the data for this game and then I have to say that it is not a good interpretation from Big Sam.
"You have to look at the data and then you will see that we did play long balls, but long balls wide rather than to the striker."
7. Mike drop
Ahead of the 2015-16 campaign, Van Gaal was addressing the media where he named Wayne Rooney as his skipper, Michael Carrick as the vice-captain and Chris Smalling as the third caption.
Only he named 'Mike' as his third-choice captain, much to the embarrassment of the England international.
He said: "The third captain is... Mr Mike Smalling."
Van Gaal then yet again called Smalling 'Mike' a few months later when he revealed the defender's new nickname is 'Pele'.
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Commenting on Van Gaal repeatedly getting his name wrong, Smalling remarked: "Even when we’re going to games and getting off the coach, it’s all ‘Mike, Mike, Mike’.
"And even though it can get annoying, it’s one of those which is just going to stick with me and I’ve got to roll with it."
