Bayern Munich 4 Man Utd 3: Onana blunder and Kane penalty down Red Devils in thriller as Germans show gulf in class

WHEN Andre Onana allowed Leroy Sane’s shot to slip beneath his body, ear-splitting can-can music blared out of the Allianz Arena’s PA system.

The great Manchester United cabaret had rolled into town and the air of low farce was palpable. 

It was a fitting piece of celebratory music, although the Benny Hill theme tune might have been even more appropriate. 

Onana played in the Champions League final last season. He sure as hell won’t be doing so this term. 

As the Cameroonian buried his head in the turf, he must have wondered why on earth he’d left Inter Milan to join this circus. 

There was no excusing Onana’s blunder, unless he wanted to claim post-traumatic stress from the way Brighton had frequently waltzed through his static defence in their victory at Old Trafford on Saturday. 

Earlier in the day, word came out that United’s chief executive Richard Arnold had assured club staff that United were closing the gap on Treble-winning Manchester City. 

Sources reported he did so with a straight face but this sounds improbable, even by United’s standards. 

And former manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer revealed that two of his United players had turned down the club captaincy, while also stating that several of them are not as good as they think they are.  

Those few remaining United players who aren’t injured or on the naughty step fell to a third straight defeat and a sixth poor performance out of six this season, as their goals against tally reached 14 in their last five games.  

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Two injury-time goals from Casemiro made the scoreline look close - but it certainly wasn’t.

Sane and Serge Gnabry netted twice within four minutes and even when Rasmus Hojlund pulled one back shortly after half-time, Harry Kane’s penalty swiftly snuffed out serious hopes of a comeback in the Champions League opener.

United should at least have tried to sign the England captain in the summer but there are so many scrambled minds inside Old Trafford that they didn’t attempt the bleeding obvious.

And so here Kane was in Bavaria, assisting the opener, scoring the third and generally showing the visitors the error of their ways. 

Such were United’s injury problems, especially in defence, that if TV pundit Rio Ferdinand had brought his boots with him, he would literally have been worth a place on Erik ten Hag’s bench.

The task always looked steep - Bayern had won their opening group match for the previous 19 years and had not been beaten here at this stage for a decade. 

United did win a knock-out match at Paris St Germain with an even worse injury crisis than this during Solskjaer’s reign. 

But the old ‘impossible is nothing’ days have faded away and, even against this opposition, the travelling believers who could recall the 1999 final didn’t dare dream.   

With Kane in their ranks and Oktoberfest raging in the city, the locals were as confident as you’d expect from men who wear leather shorts in public. 

But early on the tempo was low and the passing was sloppy from both sides. 

United might easily have snatched an early lead when Christian Eriksen snapped up a loose defensive pass, had a cross blocked at the back stick, then a follow-up shot blocked by Sven Ulreich.  

When Bayern went in front on 28 minutes, it came from their first serious effort on goal. 

Sane played a smooth one-two with Kane but his shot was hardly venomous, yet it squirmed under Onana’s body and into the net. 

Four minutes later it was worse, when Jamal Musiala toasted Diogo Dalot down the left and cut back for Gnabry to score with an assured shot.  

Bayern had played far better than this during last season’s quarter-final defeat by City yet had been sploshed 4-1 on aggregate. 

The idea then that United were somehow closing on Pep Guardiola’s side read like a feverish delusion. 

Still, United came out after the break and scored. Rashford slipped a pass to Hojlund who turned smartly in a tight space and saw a shot deflected past Ulreich. 

The 20-year-old Dane might not be in Kane’s class but the early indications are that he looks very useful. 

It typified United’s campaign that, having clawed their way back into the match, they conceded an unfortunate spot-kick just two minutes later. 

Bayern won a corner and when Dayot Upamecano headed down, Eriksen moved an arm towards the ball. 

Ref Glenn Nyberg was sent to his monitor and pointed to the spot, from where Kane dispatched a trademark penalty, drilled into the corner.

Here is an Englishman unafraid to show the Germans how to take penalties. 

It was Kane’s fifth goal in five games, although it was harsh on his old Tottenham friend Eriksen.  

At this point, Bayern started to actually play and it threatened to become gruesome. 

Sane struck a post, Kane had a powerful shot pushed out by Onana and then the England skipper was shoved into the advertising hoarding by a frustrated Lisandro Martinez. 

Onana saved brilliantly from sub Eric Choupo-Moting but after Kane’s withdrawal, United somehow managed to score. 

Anthony Martial, on as a sub, falling over and Casemiro tapping in the loose ball. 

But sub Mathys Tel rammed home in injury-time before Casemiro struck again, nodding in a Bruno Fernandes free-kick.  

With Galatasaray and Copenhagen to come, United still ought to progress to the knock-out stage.   

But you wouldn’t want to bet any serious money on it. 

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