Man Utd 0 Bournemouth 3: Ruben Amorim suffers worst day since joining as Premier League season doomed before Christmas
See how that leaves the Premier League table
BAH HUMBUG. For all his multi–lingual talents that is a phrase that would probably have been lost in translation for Ruben Amorim.
Or at least until now.
For Manchester United will be in the bottom half of the table in the festive season for the first time in the Premier League era.
It’s going to be cold this Christmas, and not just for Marcus Rashford who now knows for sure that there is no room for him at the inn.
Indeed not since 1989 and the former self of England’s top flight have they been lower than seventh on New Year’s Day.
But after goals from Dean Huijsen, Justin Kluivert and Antoine Semenyo left them tattered in bits, they might suffer that same ignominy even if they do win their next two games against Wolves and Newcastle United.
After this humiliation, United fans shouldn’t be holding their breath on them getting anything from those clashes at all.
Bah humbug indeed.
Amorim’s team, in the main, were awful while Andoni Iraola’s upwardly-mobile side are now above champions Manchester City in fifth.
Quicker feet, quicker passes and above all quicker brains. That’s what his side displayed right from the start.
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The Spaniard’s opponents? Not much of any of those characteristics.
Time after time in the first half, United’s players were caught in possession – Bruno Fernandes, Kobbie Mainoo, Manuel Ugarte, Lisandro Martinez, just a few of those taken prisoner.
Amorim continues to repeat that his re-education of the great pretenders he picked up from Erik ten Hag would take time.
Seven days earlier there had been that late Amad–inspired Manchester derby victory that might have been expected to enhance confidence and morale.
Even the ultimately-vain Carabao Cup fightback from three behind to Tottenham in midweek was spun as some proof that a new fire is burning within the Red Devils.
But even allowing for the fact that Bournemouth are slick, high-energy and organised, Amorim will have been stunned at the utter lack of cohesion – and even feistiness – within his side.
Maybe players are over-thinking, or maybe they just don’t have the capacity and football intelligence to change.
Either way, it was therefore no surprise whatsoever that the visitors went ahead in the 30th minute.
And no shock, at all, that Huijsen profited from a set-piece, Ryan Christie firing over a free-kick from United’s right.
The centre-back rose almost unchallenged at the front of a pack of players to head backwards over Andre Onana’s flailing attempt to save.
That’s the fourth time in Amorim’s nine games they have conceded from a set-piece – twice against Arsenal and on Nottingham Forest’s recent visit.
What’s more, the Dutchman’s effort meant a sixth time since the Portuguese arrived to start his assessment of the Old Trafford shambles that his side had gone behind.
They weren’t helped early in this clash by Onana, who looked jumpy and uncertain, twice almost dropped team-mates in the brown stuff with poor attempts to play out from the back.
Meanwhile, Joshua Zirkzee had been given the nod ahead of the improving Rasmus Hojlund, who had collected five goals since Amorim’s arrival.
What the new manager sees in him few outside Old Trafford can work out for he doesn’t have the body strength to play against big, tough defenders like Huijsen and Illia Zabarnyi.
Nor the knowhow to find space away from his markers – and so until Hoijlund replaced him in the 55th minute, balls powered up to him just kept bouncing back.
Skipper Fernandes should have equalised four minutes from the break but for all the fact that his performances have been perking up he, too, found himself caught up in the death wish that gripped the team he leads.
Amad cut a perfect pass back to him but the playmaker dragged horribly wide.
He looked disgusted with himself and well he might although sixty seconds later he did bring out a decent parry from Kepa.
Yet if the faithful were hoping for a repeat of the Etihad comeback they were sadly mistaken.
Amorim replaced Tyrell Malacia with £59million Lenny Yoro at the start of the second half and, along with Hoijlund, sent on Alejandro Garnacho for Ugarte.
But things only got worse for United – and turned into the same sort of embarrassment Bournemouth inflicted with their 3-0 win this time last year.
The Cherries smelled blood, went for the throat and savaged Amorim’s stumbling, clueless crew.
Noussair Mazraoui had no chance of surviving VAR’s review of referee Craig Pawson’s decision to point to the spot following his brain-dead challenge on the scampering Kluivert.
And the Dutchman then gave Onana no chance with his 61st-minute penalty.
Mainoo, far, far from his breakthrough best of last season, was again ambushed in possession, Semenyo leaving him in his wake before triggering a quick, devastating move.
The Ghanian attacker then sprinted forward, unmarked, to get on the end of Dango Ouattara’s low cross and never looked like at the end of two nightmare minutes for a team that looked as lost again as in the dark, final days of Ten Hag’s tenure.
Man Utd ratings vs Bournemouth as Malacia is hooked after horror first half
RUBEN AMORIM suffered his worst defeat of his short reign as Man Utd boss with a shocking 3-0 loss to Bournemouth at Old Trafford.
And his flops were easily second best all over the park to Andoni Iraola’s Cherries.
SunSport’s Ian Whittell has provided his ratings of the Man United squad…
Andre Onana – 5
Shaky on ball and his nervousness in holding it too long was transmitted to United supporters.
Bad conditions for a keeper but there were also some uncertain moments when he needed two attempts to grasp on to long shots.
Noussair Mazraoui – 4
Complained bitterly about the penalty he gave away but it was hard to make a case in his defence.
Caught out, then panicked and tripped Justin Kluivert from behind to cap what was already an uninspiring display.
Harry Maguire – 4
All too often was second to the ball or simply failed to get hold of his man, with Evanilson too elusive for the United defender to shackle.
Ruben Amorim believes Maguire is perfect for his three-at-the-back formation but the jury is still out on that one.
Lisandro Martinez – 5
Stood watching as Semenyo swept in Bournemouth’s third goal, the latest in a long line of defensive embarrassments from United.
Seems to be struggling, like most of his defensive team mates, with the new system and incapable of doing even the basics.
Diogo Dalot – 6
Made a couple of good blocks and tried to become involved in attacking moments from wing-back, without having a huge impact.
On a day when United’s defence was again found wanting, however, he was not the worst culprit.
Manuel Ugarte
Booked for a cynical foul on Kluivert and too often struggled to cope with Bournemouth runners.
Too much of the game passed him by and did not last even the hour as United chased the game.
Kobbie Mainoo 6
Like most of his team, guilty of some unforced errors but there was no faulting his work rate or drive.
Created a great chance when he hounded Dean Huijsen off the ball and set up Bruno Fernandes but gave up the ball for Bournemouth’s third.
Tyrell Malacia 3
Terrible touch early on drew groans from the home fans, the first of a number of sloppy moments from the fit-again full-back.
Predictable that he should give away the free-kick from which the visitors opened the scoring and hooked at half-time.
Amad Diallo 7
The big winner from the Rashford controversy and could have lit up Old Trafford early on but placed a good chance straight at the keeper.
Not a performance on a par with his derby exploits but still looked United’s best hope of carving out a goal.
Bruno Fernandes 8
Playing higher, and wider, up the field these days and maybe there is a debate over whether that is the best use of his undoubted talents.
But in the last five minutes of the first half alone, he had three good chances which might have brought an equaliser.
Joshua Zirkzee 5
Given the nod ahead of Rasmus Hojlund, a reward for some decent recent performances under his new manager but this was not one of them.
Was the closest Red to Dean Huijsen as he headed Bournemouth in front though United’s defending was such a mess, it was not clear whether he was Zirkzee’s responsibility.
Substitutes
Leny Yoro (for Malacia, 46) 4
Came on as part of a much-needed half-time defensive reshuffle by Amorim but failed to add stability.
Alejandro Garnacho (for Ugarte, 54) 5
Had a chance when clean through just after Bournemouth’s third but hit it straight at Kepa.
Rasmus Hojlund (for Zirkzee, 54) 6
Looked like he might have a goal in him and at least forced Kepa into one good stop.
Substitutes (not used): Altay Bayindir, Casemiro, Toby Collyer, Christian Eriksen, Jonny Evans, Antony.