England bowled out for 58 in New Zealand as hosts take control by ending day on 175-3 after Ashes humiliation
Tourists' batsmen are clearly not enjoying their time Down Under as their latest misery comes off the back of 4-0 Ashes defeat
ENGLAND’S batsmen were humiliated and ripped to shreds by New Zealand in one of the most astonishing collapses in Test history.
Joe Root’s team slumped to a barely-believable 27-9 and were on course for England’s all-time lowest total in their 996th Test match stretching back more than 140 years.
In the end, thanks to 33 not out from No9 Craig Overton, they limped their way to 58 all out in the First Test against New Zealand.
It was embarrassing and it was pathetic.
Not even Stuart Broad becoming only the second England bowler after James Anderson to take 400 Test wickets could add any joy to the day.
By the close, the Kiwis had reached 175-3 in reply to England’s paltry total.
England had no answer to supreme swing bowling by Trent Boult and Tim Southee and they formed a grim procession back to the dressing-room.
Five players – Root, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow, Moeen Ali and Stuart Broad – were dismissed for ducks and the whole shameful effort was completed inside the opening two-hour session of the pink ball match.
England’s total was their sixth-lowest in Test matches and more than half came from the tenth-wicket partnership of 31 between Overton and James Anderson.
Root and head coach Trevor Bayliss were hoping for something positive in England’s first Test since their 4-0 Ashes drubbing. All they got was misery.
Fall of wickets
6-1 - Cook c Latham b Boult (5)
6-2 - Root b Boult (0)
16-3 - Malan c Watling b Boult (2)
18-4 - Stoneman c Watling b Southee (11)
18-5 - Stokes b Boult (0)
18-6 - Bairstow c&b Southee (0)
23-7 - Woakes b Boult (5)
23-8 - Moeen b Southee (0)
27-9 - Broad c Williamson b Southee (0)
58 all out - Anderson c Nicholls b Boult (1)
As well as Boult and Southee bowled, they were helped by the flat-footed technique of most batsmen against the moving ball. They batted as though they were standing in a tray of treacle.
Perhaps England’s lack of meaningful Test practice after two months of white ball cricket – nothing better than four days in the middle in Hamilton last week – was another factor in their inability to apply themselves.
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Boult finished with 6-32 – his best figures in Test cricket – and Southee returned 4-25.
Many were surprised when Kiwi captain Kane Williamson chose to bowl first but his decision was vindicated in the most sensational way.
Alastair Cook was the first to depart, caught at second slip. Root was bowled as he aimed to drive a Boult inswinger and Dawid Malan edged behind with minimal footwork.
England's lowest Test scores
45 vs Australia - Sydney 1887
46 vs West indies - Port of Spain 1994
51 vs West indies - Kingston 2009
52 vs Australia - The Oval 1948
53 vs Australia - Lord's 1888
Root batted at three and Malan at four because James Vince was sacrificed to accommodate an extra seam bowler in Overton.
Overton was needed because Stokes was struggling with his back problem and the Durham player did not bowl on day one.
Mark Stoneman was another to nick off and then Stokes’ stumps were shattered by Boult. Bairstow prodded back a return catch to Southee, Chris Woakes was bowled as he tried to drive without moving his feet. Moeen Ali missed a Southee yorker and was bowled.
TREVOR BAYLISS admitted he was embarrassed to watch England’s pathetic collapse in the First Test.
Head coach Bayliss compared England’s slump to 27-9 and 58 all out to a contagious illness that swept through the team.
He said: “It was a very poor effort– it wasn’t good enough. I thought New Zealand bowled extremely well and we batted equally as badly.
“We were nowhere, like rabbits in the headlights.
“Someone sneezes and the rest of the guys catch a cold, don’t they? Everyone was making the same type of mistakes with their feet not moving properly and their decision-making not as it normally is.
“We’ve been on the other side of scores like this and then the feeling is one of euphoria. This is the opposite.”
When asked whether he was embarrassed, Bayliss replied: “Certainly - and I probably wasn’t the only one in the England changing-room, either.
“It hurts but all we can do is take it on the chin, work out what we can do better and go back and work as possibly hard as we can at it.
“I thought we made a lot of mistakes with our footwork. The ball was swinging a little but when that’s happening, you have to play forward.
“Is it a mental approach? Is it something in our preparation? Are we good enough at working out how to play when we lose early wickets?
“We’ll sit down and discuss that before the next innings and hopefully things will get a lot better. I think we have the best team here that we can pick from England.”
When Stuart Broad fell to a screaming, leaping catch by Williamson in the gully, England were 27-9 and just one run above the lowest total by any country in Test history. England’s lowest of 45 looked a long way off.
But Overton hit a few boundaries and avoided some statistical indignities but there was no disguising that it was a terrible effort from England’s batsmen. Anderson was last man out, lobbing an attempted uppercut shot straight to point.
Williamson made batting look a rudimentary business, playing with composure and skill and finishing 91 not out. Anderson took two wickets and Broad’s 400th arrived when left-hander Tom Latham clipped a catch to mid-wicket.