Arsene Wenger finds a way to big up his own prospects of signing a new two-year deal at Arsenal
Arsenal boss invents formulas designed to present his own under achievements being seen in a more forgiving light
AS Arsene Wenger emerged to face the world again, he admitted a sickness bug was afflicting his club.
He might have added that Danny Welbeck and Alex Iwobi’s gastric problems were at least medical proof his apparently gutless Arsenal squad even possessed any stomach.
Tuesday’s capitulation against Bayern Munich — which ended in an English record 10-2 aggregate Champions League defeat — contrasted with Barcelona’s miraculous comeback against Paris Saint- Germain 24 hours later.
Keep up to date with ALL the Arsenal news, gossip, transfers and goals on our club page plus fixtures, results and live match commentary
But even here, boss Wenger found a way to make a positive argument about his own prospects of signing a new two-year Gunners deal.
Hadn’t Barca coach Luis Enrique announced he would quit at the end of the season after a crushing 4-0 first-leg defeat — only to be hailed a hero three weeks later?
So didn’t that prove Wenger was correct not to make any knee-jerk reaction, with an unsigned contract on the table — and with chairman, merchant banker and old Etonian Sir John Chippendale ‘Chips’ Lindley Keswick, happy to cock a deaf ’un to the ranting on Arsenal Fan TV?
Most popular
Enrique had claimed he was exhausted, so how did Wenger feel after another week of sewage storms?
He said: “I feel all right. I feel very strong, very motivated, ready to give my best.
“It just sums it up that two weeks ago Enrique was an idiot and everyone said you have to leave, so he said, ‘OK, I go’. Today he is a hero.
“That sums up the job. In fact, I made an equation, as I am a mathematical fan, that I will give you one day. It is an equation about a manager’s job. I made a formula.”
This is what Wenger often seems to do — he invents formulas designed to present his own underachievements in a more forgiving light.
It is all an attempt to justify his own desire to carry on and on in the job he cherishes so keenly.
Arsenal’s failure to win a Champions League knockout tie for SEVEN YEARS doesn’t bother him too much — because at least they go far enough in the competition to get stiffed by Bayern or Barcelona.
He added: “I looked at our Champions League history. I think in the last seven years we’ve played six times against Barca or Bayern Munich, who are the two best teams in Europe.
“In the last nine years, we were only once the worst English team performing in the Champions League.
“When you’re present at that level, you can be punished. Many teams are not there, so they cannot be punished.
“While it was 11 v 11, we had a top-level performance against Bayern. It’s part of the game that things didn’t go for us.”
Wenger watched Barca roar back from 4-0 to defeat PSG 6-5 on aggregate with three late goals.
And he seems to believe Arsenal could have pulled off something similar but for the ref’s failure to award a penalty to Theo Walcott when the Gunners were 1-0 up on the night.
Asked if Barca’s fightback made him more frustrated about Arsenal’s exit, he said: “No, Barca’s win showed the importance of two main factors — the referee and very big players.
“I stayed watching even after PSG scored (to give them a 5-3 aggregate lead) as it’s interesting on a psychological front to see how Barca responded.
“At the end of the game, even when you have been in football so long, you think ‘How could this happen?’
“But is their first penalty a penalty? The second one? Honestly . . .
“At the start of our second leg everybody said we had a one per cent chance. We pushed it up to 30 per cent — and after Laurent Koscielny was sent off it came down to zero.
“But it could have been close as it was a penalty on Walcott and Olivier Giroud had a great chance just after half-time from six yards.
“They were wobbling at 1-0. At 2-0 it would have changed.”
Now it’s on to another kind of game — Saturday's FA Cup quarter-final against non-league Lincoln.
A game which no one connected with Arsenal should take for granted after five defeats in seven.
And so Wenger was asked how he might stop that sickness bug spreading any further.
He smiled: “That is a job for the doctors. I have enough to do.”
He wasn’t kidding.