The Bayeux Tapestry contains 93 PENISES and William the Conqueror’s horse is the most well-hung
There are scores of woven willies buried in the historic battle scene on the historic artefact
A HISTORY professor has found 93 PENISES hidden in the Bayeux Tapestry.
The 11th century artefact, which depicts the Norman Conquest of 1066 when King Harold was killed by an arrow in the eye, has scores of woven willies buried in the historic battle scene.
George Garnett, a professor of medieval history at the University of Oxford, painstakingly counted the throw-back phallus-fest.
He told magazine: "Keeping a tally of penises reveals that the designer of the tapestry had a hitherto unremarked obsession of his own.
"I say this, because this is just the sort of thing which will be familiar to anyone who has spent any time in a boys’ school."
Prof. Garnett says there were even more penises in the tapestry, but many human ones were edited out, and giant horse ones shrunk to match Victorian standards of decency.
And he says the historic dongs may have hidden meaning.
He added: "It cannot be simply a coincidence that Earl Harold is first shown mounted on an exceptionally well-endowed steed.
"And the largest equine penis by far is that protruding from the horse presented by a groom to a figure who must be Duke William, just prior to the battle of Hastings."
The tapestry is 68 metres long and 46cm high.
Along it's length, it contains 88 horse penises and five on men.
A harrowing scene played out in the margins uses nudity to tell the story of a father who raped his own daughter and a fable of a widow who had an affair with a guard at the cemetery where her husband was buried.
Last week we revealed how the Bayeux Tapestry, originally made in England, is coming home in 2022 – after the UK and France finalised a deal.
Culture Secretary Matt Hancock signed a memorandum of understanding in Paris.
The two countries will produce a full English translation of the almost 1,000-year-old tapestry.
The deal will also consider the use of technology in making the tapestry accessible to future generations.
The 70m-long tapestry will be loaned to the UK while the Bayeux Museum is refurbished.
Mr Hancock described The Bayeux Tapestry as a 'world treasure'.
He said: "This agreement takes us a step closer to bringing the Tapestry to our shores for the first time in almost a millennium.
"We are incredibly excited about the potential of the loan."
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