STREWTH!
Meet the cast of Love Island Australia series two with an OnlyFans model, football star and international DJ
LOVE Island Australia is here and the series is about to grace us with some of the finest minds the country has to offer.
Just kidding, it's a parade of sex-mad reality stars, musclebound blokes and bikini-wearing beauties as usual - and it all kicks off this week.
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Here we reveal the characters we can look forward to seeing on ITV2 each night - from a born-again Christian to an X-rated Only Fans star.
What could possibly go wrong in the villa this year? And what is the Australian word for "mugged off"? Let the trouble begin...
THE GIRLS
Cartier, 19
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This lifeguard and born-again Christian has only one man in her life - Jesus. But she's looking for another.
She says: "I love Jesus, he has changed the way I see things." However, she's also on the lookout for a "sexy and rugged" bloke to entertain her between bible study sessions.
It's fair so say she might not be used to the Love Island chat-up techniques, admitting: "When I’m out, they just stare at me and that’s it."
Vanessa, 24
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Only Fans star Vanessa signed up to Love Island after her last break-up and says there are three things she wants from a man.
And no, they don't include a credit card and an internet connection.
She said: "I want to find a man who is driven." Yep, sounds like Love Island constestants. "A man that is fit and who goes to the gym." OK, not a problem.
"And I hate lies, even little white lies, that is totally off putting for me." Uh-oh.
Jessie, 23
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Waitress Jessie is convinced she's going to find a man - even if she does reckon she sounds a bit, well, stupid.
She explained: "I would say I do come across as ditzy, I do speak too fast sometimes for my brain to comprehend what I’m saying."
Problematic? Maybe in the real world, but not in Love Island.
Cynthia, 23
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Dear sweet Cynthia thinks Love Island is a good place to find a partner because it "makes the ground-work easier".
Despite the show's dismal record at keeping couples together, she said: "Everyone is there for the right reason, at least hopefully it will be like that.
"I also think it will be something fun and really different, and the opportunity of a lifetime."
Cassie, 27
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It wouldn't be reality TV without the idealistic love-struck British girl - and here she is.
Tattooed Cassie is from London but has been living in Sydney for the past six years and frankly she's bored of all the fun she's been having.
She explained: "I’m at the stage now where I’m kind of over partying every single weekend. That’s why I want to meet someone so I can settle down."
It's your time to shine, boring blokes!
THE BOYS
Sam, 28
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The globe-trotting international DJ has put his passport away for a bit to find love in the villa.
But don't expect it to be easy - because he says he is "very picky" after not dating for seven years.
He added: "I definitely know there are going to be dramas and clashes." Seen the show before, have we, Sam?
Gerard, 23
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This hunky lad is a personal trainer with a deep and meaningful side, he insists.
Gerard says: "It isn’t just about looks for me. I’m an emotional guy looking to connect with people on a meaningful level."
And having been single for a year now and never had a one-night stand, we can only assume he's looking to connect quite urgently.
Adam, 27
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Plasterer and model Adam is coming into the villa on the back of a dating history he describes as "dismal" complaining: "I’ve never really had a proper girlfriend."
However, he is wedded to the allure of Lady Plaster, explaining: "The boys on the site don’t mind the modelling, they take the p**s out of you, you’re the talk of the town.
";It’s a mix. Plastering is good coin, and modelling is good fun, it doesn’t feel like you are working."
Eoghan, 24
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He might be an estate agent, but Eoghan insists he's "such a respectful man with a huge heart".
The only Love Island lad not to go topless in his promo pic, he explained that he's just come out of a crushing break-up after seven years.
Now, he says: "I enjoy being in a relationship. I want a companion. All my mates have girlfriends and I’m the one on my own."
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Maurice, 27
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Sounding more like an Apprentice star than a Love Islander, Maurice claims: “I am another breed of person, I’m the whole package.”
OK mate, Lord Sugar's not watching. But the media executive is positive about finding love.
He said: "I could really find the right girl with the thrill of being on a TV show as well."
READ MORE SUN STORIES
Good luck to you all - you're going to need it!
Love Island Australia starts tonight at 9pm on ITV2 and available on the ITV Hub
Love Island Australia spoilers: Sophie Monk to crown the winning couple
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