SHOCK FACTOR
Most shocking Eurovision performances from Finland’s Lordi to Latvia’s Pirates of the Sea
THE Eurovision Song Contest at its best is many things: extravagant, ridiculous, and most importantly, shocking.
Since the competition got rid of the orchestral backing in 1999, it's been an arms race of weird and whacky scenes from contestants hoping to make musical history.
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The competition isn't just about the songs - it's about the pazzaz, the incredible sets, and finding out just how much you can get away with on an international broadcast.
Whether that's using puppets to beg for votes or a drag queen making one of the most annoyingly catchy Eurovision songs of all time.
Or using rural milkmaids to suggestively churn butter while staring down the camera.
Ahead of the Eurovision 2021 Grand Final on Saturday, May 22, we've rounded up the most shocking performances the show has ever offered.
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Verka Serduchka - Dancing Lasha Tumbai, Ukraine, 2007
Perhaps one of the most memorable performances of all time, Ukrainian Drag Queen Verka Serduchka gave what can only be described as an audio-visual system shock.
The repetitive tune and lyrics meant it was always going to get stuck in your head for the next ten thousand years.
But Verka herself came out dripped in sparkling silver complete with a star on her head - as if she jumped into the teleporter from The Fly with a disco ball.
Also, the dance moves are both incredibly bad and iconic. The biggest shock was this only got to second place.
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Dustin the Turkey - Irelande Douze Pointe, Ireland, 2008
It is undeniably funny to turn up to the biggest singing competition in the world and beg for points with a very annoying puppet.
The song is of course referencing the point scoring, which is read out in both French and English, with the Emerald Isle asking for the top amount of points.
The Irish Turkey DJ'd from a moving shopping trolley while calling out specific countries to ask for points in a voice that feels as grating as the UK getting nul points.
All this begging bagged them a middling 15th place.
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Pirates Of The Sea - Wolves Of The Sea, Latvia, 2008
A song as bad as it is ridiculous, Latvia must have wanted to capitalise on the recently finished original Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy with this upbeat shanty.
The Pirates of the Sea sourced their costumes from the nearest fancy dress shop and, when you weren't magnetised to the weirdly intense main pirate, you could see their hats falling over their eyes.
Of course, the real shock comes from the scores - as the United Kingdom decided to give this ten points.
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Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina Mun Pitää, Finland, 2015
The shortest ever song submitted to Eurovision brought a bit of punk rock with it.
The lead singer spends the whole time planted on the spot, rocking back and forth, as his fellow middle aged rockers bring some intense guitar riffs behind him.
The most shocking part about it is just how different the song is from the usual happy pop trash and deathly serious ballads. Too bad it didn't impress the voters, as it failed to get through to the final.
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Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis - Alcohol Is Free, Greece, 2013
"Oh," you think as this song begins, "another folk song," and you slowly sink into your sofa and down your wine.
But wait - that sexy drummer hits the beat and suddenly the whole thing transforms into a jaunty and ridiculous tune.
The band runs into the crowd while Koza stands still, singing out the Greek lyrics pleasantly, and somehow this makes one of the most fun songs in the competition.
And what Brit wouldn't love a song where the chorus is literally the words "Alcohol Is Free" chanted over and over again?
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LT United - We Are The Winners, Lithuania, 2006
In a similar vein to Ireland's earlier act, Lithuania decided to declare themselves the "winners of Eurovision" in their 2006 song.
The performance starts as a group of dads in suits chanting those words and demanding votes from the audience.
Then at one point the bald man starts doing a ridiculous dance to the sound of an aggressive violin.
Certainly more bold than the puppet, but did it pay off? Well, they managed to get to 6th place with 162 points.
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My Słowianie - We Are Slavic, Poland, 2014
Poland knew exactly what they were doing in 2014. They knew it and they got all of the UK's votes for it.
Let's not beat around the bush: there is a moment where one of the women suggestively churns butter while practically winking at the camera.
All of them lose parts of their outfits as the performance goes on. One woman made washing clothes on a rack sexy.
It was so suggestive that UK judge Laura Wright said: "I'd say it was soft porn. It was two boobs too far for me. I was shocked to see something like that on a family show."
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Buranovskiye Babushki - Party For Everybody, Russia, 2012
Known lovingly as the dancing grannies, Russia's 2012 entry certainly tried to get everyone on their feet.
Is the song a bit forgettable? Yes, of course it is. But is the performance carried by six women just having the best time ever on stage? You bet it is.
Where are you ever going to watch something like this other than Eurovision? And it even got to second place with 259 points.
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DJ BoBo - Vampires Are Alive, Switzerland, 2007
What happens when goths and theatre nerds collide? You get this incredible performance from Switzerland in 2007.
The dancers are a mix of Mad Max and Galaxy Quest, while the song sounds like a B-track from the Phantom Of The Opera. They also manage the fantastic feat of being off-key throughout the entire song.
But you know what? It works. It just works. It's so camp and ridiculous it's impossible not to love it. The fact it didn't qualify for the final is a crime against the undead.
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Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah, Finland, 2006
A song that needs no introduction, the Hard Rock Hallelujah became an international hit when Finland debuted it in 2006.
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Lordi dressed in some truly horrific demon outfits as they woke up audiences with this out-of-nowhere screamo banger.
The performance, the song, the style, everything about this entry is absurd and shocking. But it's also pure, undistilled Eurovision silliness, winning the competition with 292 points.
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