Review
BOAT HITS A ROCK
Jungle Cruise review: The Rock’s new movie does not have enough steam to keep its boat chugging along
JUNGLE CRUISE
(12A) 158mins
★★☆☆☆
SADLY, Disney’s latest attempt to turn one of its theme park rides into a cinematic attraction does not have enough steam to keep this boat chugging along.
Set in Brazil during World War One, the plot sees roguish riverboat skipper Frank (Dwayne Johnson) hired by British scientist Dr Lily Houghton (Emily Blunt) to take her and her brother MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) as they journey into the Amazon jungle to find the mysterious Tree Of Life.
5
Lily wants to harness its healing powers for use in modern medicine. However, she’s not the only one with her sights set on the tree.
A German expedition led by Prince Joachim (Jesse Plemons) is also intent on finding it — and using its powers to win the war.
- Disney's Jungle Cruise -
Obvious green screen
From Frank’s many animal puns to the fake hippos and the famous “backside of water” (where the boat passes through a torrent of water), there are an abundance of Jungle Cruise references for fans of the Disneyland ride to enjoy.
Johnson and Blunt are competent enough action stars with good comic timing. But their chemistry has gone AWOL when it comes to the romantic subplot.
And the attempts to update the period-set film with contemporary, progressive ideas make it increasingly convoluted.
Lily is fearless while MacGregor is an effeminite gay stereotype. Then there’s Plemons, who at first delivers his German royal with entertaining aplomb, but soon descends into a Christoph Waltz impression.
5
Paul Giamatti’s (Italian? Spanish? Portugese?) harbour-master is totally over the top and Edgar Ramirez is frustratingly underused as one of the only South American actors in a film set in South America.
Director Jaume Collet-Serra relies so heavily on CGI effects that there’s never a moment where you can be captivated the vibrant beauty of the jungle.
Instead, the fakeness of certain digital animals and obvious green screen moments contribute to a hard-to-believe world fashioned from a melting pot of cultures.
Jungle Cruise feels like a movie based on a 1955 theme park ride, with too many cooks in the writers’ room yet not enough tar to plug its many plot holes.
- By Hanna Flint
THE SUICIDE SQUAD
(15) 132mins
★★★★☆
PREPARE to set your face to surprised throughout this colourful and crass movie that gives the original film a combat-style kicking.
Written and directed by the Guardians Of The Galaxy’s James Gunn, it serves as a cooler sibling to the 2016 movie Suicide Squad, which was panned by critics.
5
This reboot is drastically different, with a foul-mouthed and ultra-violent crew of wrong’uns making you laugh and gasp in equal measure.
US intelligence officer Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) is on a mission to build a team of crazy criminals with superpowers to send on a dangerous, almost suicidal mad mission.
They include the little-known DC character Bloodsport (Idris Elba), who once wounded Superman with a kryptonite bullet but now cleans prison floors.
There’s also Peacemaker (John Cena), Blackguard (Pete Davidson) Polka-Dot Man (David Dastmalchian) and the return of Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie). To increase the level of motley in the crew, there’s also a very hungry shark, a wild weasel and a cute rat.
While the madcap mission soon becomes obsolete, the colourful chemistry and gloriously insane levels of violence are dialled up.
It’s difficult to look away – even though there are times you have little idea what you’re actually looking at.
SPIRIT UNTAMED
(U) 88mins
★★★★☆
YEE-HAW – a family film of unbridled fun is galloping its way to the big screen.
And it brings all the action and adventure of a Western along with the heartfelt, joyous moments of a DreamWorks picture at its best.
5
It tells the story of Lucky Prescott (Isabela Merced), a feisty 12-year-old who has been cared for by her Aunt Cora (Julianne Moore) since her mum – a famous horse-riding stunt performer – was killed on the job.
The pair are forced to go to the small town of Miradero to spend the summer with Lucky’s dad, Jim (Jake Gyllenhaal).
On the train journey, Lucky crosses railway paths with a wild horse, Spirit, and is drawn to her untamed nature.
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Once at the town, she meets two equally lively and headstrong friends, Pru and Abigail.
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The trio soon take to the saddle when the safety of Spirit and his fellow wild horses is threatened – and they go on a trip like no other.
The animation is crisp, the songs catchy and the bond between the girls so heart-warming my seven-year-old niece Genevieve nearly squealed with joy in a sweet scene where they exchange friendship bracelets. A fun ride for all the family.
5
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