I slept with a hammer as a child because of mum’s violent boyfriend, says Nicola Adams
NICOLA Adams slept with a hammer under her bed as a child as she was so scared of her mum’s violent boyfriend.
The Olympic boxing champ and Strictly star was abused by her father from age four to 11, and was horrified when her mum started dating a second abusive man.
Nicola was just 12 when confronted him with the weapon after a violent row, screaming: “Leave the house now or else I’m going to use it.”
She recalled: “It was horrible. I couldn’t understand why it had happened, and I remember asking my mum: ‘How have we ended up in this situation again?’ I’d been through a lot already, and this guy was a lot bigger than my dad. I knew there was no way I’d be able to stop him if anything serious happened.
“He wasn’t abusive towards me, just my mum. But what she went through was as bad as it was the first time. I was pretty scared.
"That was why I decided to sleep with a hammer. Then one night I’d just had enough. I went downstairs and took the hammer and said: ‘You need to leave the house now or I’m going to use it.’
“I remember I was scared. I didn’t know what was going to happen, I just knew I had to do something. As soon as I had, I was thinking: ‘Oh c**p, I’m here now, and I don’t know what’s going to happen.
“But he went to the car. I went with him and I told him not to come back. Then I threw a brick through his window as he drove away."
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Nicola, now 39, spent most of her childhood feeling “scared and sad” as she feared her dad, Innocent, would lash out with his fists or belt.
Speaking ahead of a hard-hitting Amazon documentary about her life, she told how she turned to boxing as an escape from her home life. And she admits today she has had to have trauma therapy to get over the pain he caused.
Speaking in the documentary, she says: “My dad had this rule, I had to be home before dark. If I was late, I was just waiting to see how angry he was going to be and if he’d just use his hand to beat me and not anything else.
“If you hit an eight or nine year old, and you’re a grown man, that is going to really hurt. I remember one particular time – I was only three or four - he was trying to beat up my mum and I had a plastic sword and I was trying to rescue her.
“But my dad just pushed me to the side. I got used to feeling scared a lot of the time, feeling sad.”
Speaking to the Sun on Sunday, Nicola went on: “I was dealing with a lot of pain because I knew there was nothing I could do to help my mum. That’s why I liked boxing so much. It was a safe space, like a family.
I remember one particular time – I was only three or four - he was trying to beat up my mum and I had a plastic sword and I was trying to rescue her.
Nicola Adams
“A lot of people know me as the girl that won gold at the Olympics - but most don’t know the journey I went on, and what it took to get to that point.
“I wanted to make this documentary to inspire people - especially people who come from backgrounds like mine - to believe that anything is possible with hard work. And I’m hoping it will help domestic abuse sufferers have the courage to walk away.
“If I could speak to my dad now about what he did to me, I’d tell him that I had to have trauma therapy to get over what I’ve been through. But ultimately I have been able to heal, and to move past it. And it would have been really easy for me to take a different path completely.”
Nicola - Great Britain’s most successful ever female boxer - grew up with Innocent, mum Dee and brother Kurtis on a poverty-stricken council estate in Leeds. And she discovered boxing aged 12 when her mum couldn’t find a babysitter and left her with her brother at his local boxing club.
Nicola’s first coach Steve Franks remembers her telling him she would be World Champion one day. But she faced a hard battle to the top at a time when women’s boxing received little to no funding and was not recognised as an Olympic sport. And Nicola admits that at times she came very close to quitting.
She said: “I came really close. It was only my friends, family and coaches that kept me going and motivate me. I loved the sport so much, but I needed money to live. At the time, women boxing had no funding, no backing. So I did all kinds of different jobs – house renovation, extra work - just anything to keep boxing alive.”
I can’t wait to see what comes next.
Nicola Adams
Luckily her determination paid off when women’s boxing was included in the 2012 London Olympics, where she went on to win the first gold medal awarded in the sport. In 2016 she successfully defended her title at the Rio Olympics – becoming the first British boxer to do so in 92 years.
Nicola went on to launch a career as a professional boxer in 2017 but retired in 2019 after tearing a pupil in her eye during her last fight against Maria Salinas. And the star, who took part in Strictly last year and is planning to launch an acting career, says she now is excited about the new chapter of her life.
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She said: “I can’t wait to see what comes next.”
- LIONESS: The Nicola Adams Story is released on Amazon Prime Video on November 12.
HOW YOU CAN GET HELP:
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a . from 10am to noon.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.