Teen Mom Amber Portwood reveals she attempted suicide at 11, did drugs at 9 & aided a GANG at 15 in horrific childhood

TEEN Mom star Amber Portwood revealed she attempted suicide at 11, did drugs at 9 and joined a gang at 15 in her book out later this month.  

The Sun has obtained an exclusive first look at the Teen Mom star’s explosive tell all ‘So, You’re Crazy Too?’ which will be released February 22^nd.  

In it, Amber, 31, detailed her pain-filled childhood and her life through present day. 

The mother-of-two candidly delved into the depths of her mental illnesses, her struggles with addiction and various run-ins with the law in the jam-packed tome.  

Amber bluntly described the first time she tried to kill herself by hanging at the tender age of 11, without even understanding why she did it.  

“I first tried to kill myself when I was eleven years old,” she wrote and candidly reflected: “The truth is, I don’t know why I did it; I was probably too young to know.”  

“I woke up on the floor. I don’t know how much time had passed, but I was in terrible pain. My side and my neck were hurting very badly.”  

“I just felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. As I look back now, it is clear I was already suffering from mental illness.  

“At the time it just felt like heaviness and, as such a small child without the wisdom of age and desperately looking for a solution to the problem, hanging myself seemed like the only way out. I just wanted the pain to end.” 

The MTV star also shared that her drug addiction began at just nine-years-old. 

DRUG USE AT AGE 9

"Self-medicating is very common in the world of the mentally ill. When I was nine years old, I tried my first opioid and it was the best feeling in the world.  

“All of the dark thoughts that muddled my brain were suddenly quiet. My first taste of drugs was a quarter of an OxyContin. After that, I did drugs on a pretty regular basis all through my adolescence.” 

Amber said she suddenly had new friends and the drugs made her less shy and anxious. 

By the time she was in middle school, she confessed: “my friends and I raided our parents’ medicine cabinets and would pop pills a few times a week to make our days at school more exciting.” 

The Teen Mom star admitted her addiction continued to grow in a concerning and very real way.  

“I had no idea at the time that this seemingly harmless distraction of swallowing a few pills here and there to make myself more confident would eventually turn into a full-blown addiction to opioids.” 

MTV would bring in Dr. Drew Pinsky to speak with various show casts through the years, and one conversation he had with Amber stood out for her.  

Dr. Drew told Amber he believed her pill habit was becoming a problem for her.  

“Years later, it was Dr. Drew Pinsky who, walking down the street with me in NYC during our first season reunion, told me he was concerned I was becoming addicted to prescription pills. I was shocked.  

“I always thought I had a good handle on what I considered a recreational habit at best. But, of course, he was exactly right: even a clever, smart girl like me was no match for the addictive nature of the pills I was taking.” 

The Teen Mom star was even involved in gang activity at 15-years-old. 

GANG ACTIVITY AT 15

“A particularly bad group of guys in a gang had taken a liking to me, and they used me as a lookout when they would rob the houses of people from whom they had bought drugs.” 

Amber said she would hide nearby and let them know when a homeowner was pulling up or a drug contact was home.  

“One time, they made me come inside a house they were going to rob. I guess they wanted to make sure I wouldn’t run and call the police, but they had nothing to worry about. One thing I learned growing up in Anderson, Indiana, was that nobody likes a snitch.” 

Amber’s tough childhood was spiked with trauma that eventually led to her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder diagnosis. 

Beyond losing her sister and seeing the baby’s body being carted off at just five-years-old, Amber said her father was a volatile alcoholic, who would call her and her brother Shawn names.  

Her father would eventually become sober after a cirrhosis diagnosis, and would pass away 10-years-later.  

Among the many revelations in her book, Amber said that getting a full picture of her mental illness was crucial to her being able to really work on herself.  

She credits her current psychiatrist for diagnosing her beyond her already established bi-polar disorder and anxiety.  

The Teen Mom star said the diagnoses of borderline personality disorder was critical in being able to build the frame work for a more stable way of life.  

Later on, he also diagnosed her PTSD as well.  

Amber wrote that she wanted to tell her the story of her struggles with her mental illnesses in So, You’re Crazy Too? In hopes of helping others to have the courage to get the help they need. 

She also includes a list of mental health resources and reading at the end of her book. 

“To tell my story honestly, I have to talk about what is wrong with me. And in talking about my mental instability, I hope to shed a light on a problem that exists in our society that has always been relegated to the sidelines. 

“Maybe if a little girl who grew up on MTV has these problems and talks about them, other little girls will come forward and get the help they need before it is too late for them.” 

If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or text Crisis Text Line at 741741.