Teen Mom Amber Portwood reveals she suffered ‘disturbing visions’ in postpartum psychosis battle before her arrest
TEEN Mom Amber Portwood revealed that she suffered “disturbing visions” in her postpartum psychosis battle before her arrest in 2019 in her new book out later this month.
The Sun has obtained an exclusive first look at the Teen Mom OG star’s explosive tell all, , which will be released February 22nd.
The mother of two candidly delved into the depths of her mental illnesses, her struggles with addiction, and various run-ins with the law in the jam-packed tome.
Amber painfully described her postpartum depression and detailed one particularly disturbing episode six months after the birth of her son James, now 3 years old.
The MTV star wrote that she had ceased her anxiety medications during her pregnancy, fearing a miscarriage.
However, once the feelings of her “happiness of giving birth to this perfect child began to subside, my old feelings of depression and anxiety came roaring back."
She explained: “When my son was six months old, I started having some quick blackouts and visions that I had never had before.
"I was lying on my bed with my son and his dad, and I had my son on my outstretched legs. Nothing stressful was occurring; it was actually a rare quiet moment for all of us."
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"Suddenly, I had a series of really harsh and disturbing visions. That’s when I started to realize something new and frightening was happening to me,” Amber startlingly revealed.
Amber said she was seeing things that weren’t there, and it was terrifying.
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“It is so hard to tell reality from fantasy when I am having a vision. I became really scared that something was going to go wrong in real life when I was caring for my son,” she heartbreakingly confessed.
Amber continued that her mental illnesses and her postpartum depression made for the perfect storm, and soon she would find herself again behind bars.
“My fatigue, instability, and sudden inability to cope with motherhood came to a head six months after giving birth to my son. It was not the first time I had been arrested for domestic abuse of my partner, but it was the most widely publicized and heavily criticized incident of my life.
“Because of my ongoing custody battle with my son’s father, I am not allowed to talk in detail about that night, but there are things that happened that are public record. The problem is, public record never tells the whole story. I have lived that hard, cold fact all of my adult life.”
A HELPING HAND
Amber credits her legal team, and the judge, for not landing in prison, and she said she was very fortunate to reap the benefits of Indiana’s batterers intervention program.
The reality star said she was “eager to take anything I could get out of the classes I was mandated to attend. I started to learn other ways of coping with fear and danger and intimidation through this program.”
“Although I know this is a lifelong battle, I am hopeful my days of mug shots and court appearances are behind me for good.”
Amber also notes that she has joint legal custody of both her kids James and Leah, and that no court has ever taken away her children from her.
Among the many revelations in her book, Amber said that getting a full picture of her mental illness was crucial to her being able to really work on herself.
REAL CARE, PROFESSIONAL CARE
She credits her current psychiatrist for diagnosing her beyond her already established bi-polar disorder and anxiety.
Amber said the diagnoses of borderline personality disorder was critical in being able to build the frame work for a more stable way of life.
Later on, he also diagnosed her PTSD as well.
Amber wrote that she wanted to tell her the story of her struggles with her mental illnesses in So, You’re Crazy Too? In hopes of helping others to have the courage to get the help they need.
She also includes a list of mental health resources and reading at the end of her book.
“To tell my story honestly, I have to talk about what is wrong with me. And in talking about my mental instability, I hope to shed a light on a problem that exists in our society that has always been relegated to the sidelines.
“Maybe if a little girl who grew up on MTV has these problems and talks about them, other little girls will come forward and get the help they need before it is too late for them.”
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call:
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SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline 1-877-726-4727 for general information on mental health and to locate treatment services in your area.
Or, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or text Crisis Text Line at 741741.
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